Recently several of my friends and clients have had babies and are experiencing some new issues with nursing and babies.  Here are a few tips to survive and thrive during this time…

 1.         To breast feed or not:  Do not let anyone bully you into this choice – including your husband.  You have given 10 months to growing this precious bundle of joy inside and if nursing is not for you – don’t.  Yes, we all know the benefits of nursing, but all are outweighed by “over-whelmed, stressed-out mom.”  I did breastfeed for 7-8 months each time, but truly, besides the painful, sore nipples in the beginning – I had no issues with milk production, infections or the like…So this was not difficult for me.  Really look at yourself and decide what is best for you?

2.         Nursing and bottles: If you do decide to nurse, you will hear a lot of different advice about when to introduce bottles as to avoid nipple confusion.  Personally, if you have a baby who does not have difficulty “latching on” - use a bottle of pumped milk within the first week.  The experts will tell you to wait 4 -6 weeks as to avoid nipple confusion – wrong.  By waiting all that time, it becomes a big drama to introduce the bottle later.  One of my children would not accept a bottle at all – nightmare…Also, have your mate provide the bottle as to help support baby bonding for them and go take a shower or break.  Continue to have your mate provide bottles as to avoid the situation that only “you” can quiet the baby – this can feel gratifying in the beginning, but trust me, you will be setting yourself up for headaches later when the crying is louder.

3.         Are you the only person that can quiet the baby?:  When the baby starts crying, do you immediately begin breastfeeding?  This is dangerous territory for both you and your mate.  Of course, in the beginning this makes sense, but as you master nursing – are you allowing your mate to really bond with the baby?  I remember when we had my daughter and the odd sense of power as to be the “one” who could quiet the baby by merely handing the baby and breastfeeding.  However this dynamic becomes your worst nightmare as suddenly any time the baby starts crying she/he is handed immediately over to you for you to “fix.”  This gets old – quick, and then you become resentful of your mate for not being able to help out with the crying baby – the problem you helped to create…Hence, vicious circle.  So make a bottle for the baby and mate, and leave the house, go for a walk, whatever – they will work it out.

4.         Have you become a chew-toy?:  Are you breastfeeding all the time?  Not just during growth spurts?  Guess what?  You have now passed from providing comfort and sustenance for your baby to “chew-toy.”  Have you tried a binky?  Again this has been the cause of much debate – the whole nipple confusion issue again and teeth…I again go back to, what is good for you and the baby?  My daughter had a binky in her face ‘til three and my son never touched it - much to my dismay.  Babies like to suck on things - plain and simple, some are more oral then others.  You decide what is best for you and your family. 

5.         When to wean:  The experts push for a year.  Not for me.  At seven months old my daughter had become so busy during the day that she wanted to nurse all night.  After several nights of this, I soon realized I was becoming the meanest person in the room due to no sleep.  She weaned in about a week.  My son was/is plagued by allergies and I weaned at eight months because I could not get my diet clean enough as to not affect him.  His skin problems cleared up a day or two after I stopped nursing – probably should have stopped earlier.  Again, do not be pressured by anyone – they do not give any prizes for nursing the longest, etc…A girlfriend stopped nursing after about a month – she had run into problem after problem, stressed-out, but her husband still wanted her to continue…She stopped and was able to calm down because she wasn’t always worried about the baby not “getting enough.”  And then, I have lots girlfriends/clients easily nursing for a year – personal choice, no wrong decisions.  Look at where you are in your life and decide what would support you and your baby best.

 I hope these tips can help to answer a few of your concerns.  Please remember that this is a vulnerable time for new Moms and Dads – sensitivities run high.  A little patience with yourself and others goes a long way…Experts are just people with another opinion and in most cases; you can weigh the choices/options best for your family - not a stranger from a book.