Here is the bitch of it: for all my understanding and faith in a higher power – life is still not fair sometimes.  How can this be?  Where is my God from the 1^st Testament?  A righteous and violent God who punishes those who sin?  Then I remember rainbows…God gave up leveling communities with floods and plagues in the 1^st Testament, instead offering rainbows as a sign of his infinite love.  Personally, some days I long for the Bad-ass God…

 I try to comfort myself with the belief, “I can only see in part, You see all.”  Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t.  I am reminded of Jesus on the cross crying of for his father near the end…I know that desperation, the fear of being abandoned as you know in your heart you have done all that has been required of you, yet still you hang on the cross, pushed to the outside.  How can this be?   

“I can only see in part…”