This guided meditation focuses on connecting to your ideal body.  There is no perfect number, but there is a feeling of satisfaction.  This meditation offers support as you transform into your ideal self emotionally and physically.  Enjoy! 

There’s a plumber in my kitchen right now.  Trying to clear our kitchen sink.  I keep hearing rumblings of, “I have never seen this before,” and “Well, I’ll be.”  Frankly, I’m a little nervous about the impending bill.

This is the second time he has been here in four days.  The problem had been getting worse and worse.  The water would just not drain.  Dirty water, sitting in my sink, slowly, ever so slowly draining away. Leaving a ring of slime around the bottom.  I called the plumber after many vain attempts with maximum strength Draino and a plunger.

I am grateful the plumber is here, the expert.  The first time he came, we had thought it was fixed, but after a day, we realized the problem was still there.  It was better, but not fixed.  So back he is today.

As I hear him working and rumbling,  I can not help but look at the symbolism.  I do not believe anything happens in isolation.  As Wayne Dyer says, “There is a valid reason for everything.”

I believe the Universe is conspiring to make us whole, guiding us to our best self.  We receive information and/or signs all the time.  Much of our intuition is seeing/reading the signs all around us and gleaning the most insight to make the best decisions.

Water has many different meanings for me, one being emotions.  For the past few weeks my husband and I have been, shall we say, “discussing an issue.”  Needless to say, without resolution.  Thus it is  not surprising to me that my sink has been all clogged up.  Dirty, water, old stuff mixed with the new, sitting in my kitchen sink.  Truly in the center of my home, in the center of my life.

I was thrilled last week when the plumber came and seemed to fix the problem so easily and quickly.  My husband let me know the sink was still not working the next day.  I went to where we all seek refuge –denial.  “Dear, it’s fine.  You don’t know.  What did you put down there?”  Later too, I discovered he was right, the problem was still not fixed.  The next day I called the expert again, the plumber.

He came with much bigger equipment this time,  but today, happily, he fixed it.  The clog was very deep.  He had needed to go further down the pipe last time.  He was even baffled at times today before he finally completely cleared the problem.

As I watched the plumber drive away, I smiled and was gratefully  reminded that sometimes the clogs are very deep and with the right equipment, the right support they can be cleared away.

My husband and I resolved our “issue of discontent” later that day.  We had found the support we needed to make the best decision and the problem was cleared away.

For the past few years, I’ve been going on the women’s spiritual retreat with our church.  I had never been on a retreat before a few years ago.  The only other time I voluntarily lived with women was in college and only then because boys were too messy and smelled funny.

To be perfectly frank, in the past I never liked women all that much.  I usually had only a few close girlfriends growing up and the rest were guys.  Women were always too emotional, too catty for me.  They would cry easily and I could laugh with the guys.

Tears have always made me uncomfortable.  I don’t like to cry.  Both my parents were coaches, so needless to say tears were frowned upon.  If anyone started crying in my house, you were sure to ridiculed until the tears were replaced by hot anger.  Quickly, I learned to stuff all my emotions and found refuge in humor.

In my early twenties, I began uncovering all of those stuffed emotions—rejection, humiliation, anger, hurt, desperation, fear, longing, on and on.  A list of emotions we all run from, but never quite stay ahead of.  I also found  tears.  Yuck.  Aching, lost tears that would come pouring out at the movies, while watching soap operas, even commercials, the Olympics…It was pitiful.

I sought help and worked successfully with an excellent counselor.  There were lots of tears and healing, thus leading to the next phase in my life, marriage and kids.  It was only after “birthin’ babies” that I discovered the true value of girlfriends.  Girlfriends know your shoes, especially when they are covered in spit-up and the kids’ breakfast.  Not only could you laugh with your girlfriends, but you could cry too.

I joined a Mommies group after my daughter was born and found a wonderful circle of women.  I soon discovered that if one Mommy started crying, invariably someone else began sniffling and so on and so on.  Same went with the babies, one baby cries and soon there was a roomful wailing.  You did not cry alone.  Many times I would find myself welling up with tears and even sometimes, tears fell.  This was all very new to me.

Then I decided to go on the women’s spiritual retreat with my church after my son recovered from a health crisis.  Little did I know that spiritual retreats are set up to get you vulnerable, inevitably leading to tears, usually en masse.  I cried the entire weekend and I really, really needed it.

I had been so strong in my belief that my son would recover and in searching/finding the cure, that there had been no allowance for tears.  I was an old pro at stuffing my feeling from childhood.  That survivor had stepped back into my life for a while, but fortunately I was able through this circle of women and cleansing tears to regain myself, my adult.  As much as I have fought it, tears actually bring release and peace.

So I was surprised last year, when I was at the retreat that I shed no tears.  It wasn’t for lack of compassion with the suffering of those around me but I finally discovered the concept of “holding the space.”  I no longer had these wounded places that could be triggered by a friend’s pain or experience.  I was free.

I was free to support my weeping friend by just listening.  I did not need to take on her issues.  I could be her witness.  She could tell her story without having to worry about me.  It was such an empowering feeling to be on the other side.  I knew I had finally passed through and released so many of my painful “hooks.”

Her tears did not make me uncomfortable, they told me of her heart.

Oh, I know another year I’ll go to the retreat, I’ll be telling a painful story and quite possibly be in tears, but now, I know tears from every side.  I see the many facets–cleansing, sadness, joy, pain, triumph…all of it.  I am grateful to be here, in these new shoes, no longer covered in spit-up.  I am grateful to have a circle of women in my life that allow me to be wherever I am on my journey.  Sometimes holding the space, and sometimes being held.  May you find your circle.