“Gentle” doesn’t come easily for me.  I was raised to work hard – achieve.  There isn’t a whole lot of room for ‘soft and gentle’ when you are in competition, even if the person you are competing against is yourself. 

 As I watched the Olympics this week, I was surprised when a ping-pong champion was asked, “Why hasn’t ping-pong taken off in the States?” 

 “Well, Americans don’t like things to be soft.  They want to go outside for there sports.  Hard,” she said.

 I couldn’t agree more.  Maybe it’s because this country began with immigrants trying to make a better life - as they still try today.  Competition is a naturally outcrop of this path.  Or maybe it’s because we have so much already, organized competition has to be hard.  Or maybe it’s because Americans are driven to get their slice of the pie…

 My grandfather came over from Ireland when he was about twenty and he was hungry.  Hungry for food, hungry for money and safety, hungry for love, hungry for a place be.  Unfortunately, he stayed hungry his whole life and passed this hunger, this ‘not enough’ feeling onto his children, my mother.  She too passed this message onto me, and my other siblings through her own words and deeds. 

 And here I am today with a choice, “Do I too pass this hunger onto my children?  Do I continue the cycle of ‘not enough’?”  Of course the answer is easy, no I won’t pass it along…but do I anyway?  Through my own thoughtless deeds and words?  Sometimes horribly, yes.

 So today I am working on - gentle and being soft.  Not to hear words spoken to me through a filter of fear and pain, but through light.  To expect the best from everyone and not to take it personally if another does not want to behave from their highest self.  That is their problem, their journey – my focus is with self.  And with myself - I am gentle and soft.  So be it.

Over the years I’ve “done a lot of work” on my spirituality and emotional well-being.  I have been compelled to live “differently” than my family of origin.  Amusingly, what I discovered is to “live differently” you have to make different choices in essentially the same circumstances that first caused pain…perplexed?  Let me explain…

 Over the years I prided myself (should have been my first clue) in not being competitive - like the rest of the family.  Both my parents were coaches and teachers – intense competitors ultimately ending in an ugly divorce and my brother was a fantastic athletic with a keen desire “to win at all costs.”  So, I turned my back on all things to do with sports and competition – not me.  You wouldn’t catch me screaming at the TV, radio, team member, players because my team didn’t win.  I was better than that…or was I?  I came to discover my competitive streak lay in the covert - I am most competitive with myself and how I “should” be. 

Being successful is no far off place.  It is probably closer then you think, but, at this vantage point in your life it may feel a million miles away.  Ask yourself, do you have the mindset to see the opportunities to your best life?  Being successful is not about always making the “right” move every time, but about maximizing all your moves.

Once you’ve lived past thirty, you can finally get a little perspective on your life.  If you really look at your life, there is a pattern.  Even the mistakes, the “wrong” choices, taught you lessons.  You may not have enjoyed the process, but you can see the benefits in the chaos – the so called “silver lining.”

Sometimes delay is a good thing.  During delays you often acquire more knowledge and experience, laying a foundation for your future success.  However, it is during these delays that I believe people can veer off the path by becoming frustrated in the process.

Whether it’s losing faith in your product, yourself or the old “not enough time”, here are some suggestions that have helped my clients to remain on the path to success and may they support you…

1. Believe in yourself and your product.   This is where it all begins – you.  How is your self-esteem or self-confidence?  If you don’t think well of yourself, no one else will, plain and simple.  Which of course, will transfer to your product and you will miss opportunities.  So how you feel about yourself matters and directly impacts your success.  If this is an issue for you, try saying to yourself five different times a day, “I believe in myself.  Success enters my life easily and effortlessly from all around me.”  It may feel awkward at first, but soon you will notice a calming effect.
2. You deserve success.  How did that feel when you read this?  Any twinges?  If so, this is also an area to examine.  Not only do you need to believe in yourself, but you have to feel worthy of success too – back to you again.  You may try adding, “I deserve and accept a beautiful life,” to your daily mantra above to help support a new, deserving belief in your life.
3.  Have a plan.  It’s all well and good to believe that you deserve success, but what does that mean?  What would success look like to you and what are the steps to get there?  This is a big hurdle for many because it requires putting your words into action.  Just as your thoughts and intensions call new opportunities to you, you must be willing to act upon their arrival.  For example, maybe you want a new job making more money.  There are steps between today and a new job.  Do you know what these are?  Do you need more education?  Have you looked in the paper or online?  Think about what success is to you and then write it out.  Include the steps to achieve the success you desire.  Then each day, do one thing to move you in that direction – read an article, make a phone call, research, whatever, at least one a day.  You will notice your life shifting, easily and effortlessly almost, into a new, more successful direction.
4.  Be flexible.  This may seem a little confusing at first, but it kind of goes to the old saying, “Once you make plans, life happens.”  This is very true fortunately, so stay open.  Let me explain.  Once you shift your belief system to a successful mindset – you attract success.  Things that were blocked before come flying into your life.  This, in turn, disrupts your “plans” –  well, maybe not.  Sometimes, you discover your plans were too small and life has something better in store for you…So stay flexible, be ready to expand into the fullness of life as it unfolds.
5. Use your fears to balance yourself.  Whenever you get really close to success, fear walks in the door, almost its final hurrah.  Fear hides as doubts, anxiety, sleeplessness, certain people, the list goes on and on…but I now see fear as an opportunity.  Fear to me is an indicator of imbalance which means I need support.  Sometimes I can give this to myself through meditation and prayer, but sometimes it means I need to reach out to my husband, friend or a mentor for encouragement and reassurance.  Find  a support system for yourself as you transition to this new life.

Finally, remember patience and courage — the patience to allow yourself the opportunity to transform your life to its fullest potential and the courage to walk and stumble through that transformation.

Years ago a friend whispered, “Courage,” in my ear during a pivotal time in my life.  I can still remember the strength hearing that word vibrated through my body.  Courage, not condescending, “It’ll be ok.  Don’t worry,” but strong and faithful courage.  It actually helped me to be a little more patient too.  So I offer you courage, as you discover your path to a successful, abundant life.

What’s all this talk about “manifesting abundance and prosperity” and why, you may ask, is it not in your life today? The answer is simple. You haven’t found the path to allow abundance into your life. Maybe you have certain negative beliefs about money, maybe you don’t think you deserve it, or maybe you just haven’t thought you could manifest abundance into your life today. Well, you do deserve an abundant, beautiful life and you can manifest that life into reality with meditation.

As you grow up, you acquire belief systems through your experiences and the modeled behavior of the adults around you. Since many of us come from dysfunctional homes, it is quite possible that you have created certain belief systems or habits of thinking that bind you in unhealthy life patterns. You are always broke. Nothing ever works out. As a child, you needed these beliefs systems to explain and survive the world you were in, but now, you are no longer a child.

Now these “survival beliefs” are in fact sabotaging your life. You are not a very good partner in life if you have an underlining belief that, “Nothing ever works out.” Guess what? You will prove your self right time and again as nothing works out.

Try this exercise; think about all the things you want, that you don’t have right now. Love? Prosperity? New house? New car? Money? Anything…now, notice how you feel inside. You are feeling the lack, the cold empty spaces that begin to make you feel smaller and smaller. Isolated and trapped in your own unhappy experience of “Not enough,” as the list of all your unsatisfied wants increases.

Now imagine that you have in your life today, that which you seek. Say to yourself, “Abundance flows into my life easily and effortlessly. All my needs and wants are met today.” Take a breath and feel quiet peace relax your body. Balance returns. Notice where you feel this in your body. Warmth expands from the inside making you feel larger, more connected to today.

As you work with guided meditation, new beliefs begin taking the place of self-defeating thought patterns and you become more connected to your own thoughts. Instead of sabotaging your experiences with old beliefs, you actually become more present in your life. You are in charge of your thoughts, instead of your thoughts being in charge of you.

Finally, you will be empowered to make the best choices in your life for you, instead of reacting to the choices made by others. Through meditation you can become your highest self and manifest your best life into reality. As the saying goes, where your mind goes – your thoughts expand. Expand into your most abundant life