This past weekend I was at a conference and heard this amazing statistic about Americans.  80% of Americans consider themselves to be unhappy due to depression, anxiety, stress, health concerns and the economy.  I immediately had to ask myself – am I part of that 80%? 

 The shocking truth is – I was stressed, anxious for something that seems allusive and this silly economy is definitely pissing me off…Starkly, truthfully, painfully I had fallen out of the happy 20% to join the unhappy choir.  I do not want to be in that unhappy 80%. 

 It’s not that there aren’t real and valid complaints/issues in this large group.  Far from it – there is rejection, poverty, absolute victims, poor health, mental illness, and abandonment – it’s all in there and more, but I chose to leave that behind me.

 I have a friend who started taking anti-depressant pills this year and not surprisingly there were some that didn’t approve.  Let me be clear – I absolutely believe for each person the path to wholeness is unique.  Some are able to find healing through alternative approaches and some through the chemicals of modern science.  Whatever helps you become telios – the best you, you can be – is what I support. 

 I could not presume to know all the alleys and avenues to your peace – beware the friends who want to tell you how to live your life – for your own good…Are you one of those friends???

 But I digress; my friend has chosen to leave the 80% because she is no longer anchored not only to the past, but also to what others are thinking – more appropriately, their approval.  My friend has every good and valid reason for remaining in the 80% – she comes by her wounds bluntly, but here’s the thing – you are unhappy and that is exhausting.  She has tried everything and I do mean everything, yet still she struggled unhappily.   However there was always this nagging feeling that life can feel good and in balance and gratefully, now she is experiencing this very life…

 I think this is why the 80% stay unhappy – they do not believe happiness is truly possible for them – maybe for other people, but not them.  Somehow through life the belief that other people, but not you, are happy becomes imbedded.  It’s not a choice so much as a result of experience, example or habit. 

 If you are unhappy now, I encourage you to make a shift – in your thinking, in your habits, or even seek support if needed, but know that you too deserve to be happy.  It is possible for you too – life feels good and it is in balance…

I slept with an alligator last night, my six year old son.  I was kicked in the ribs, elbows to the head, covers – gone.  My son said to me in the morning, with a big grin mind you, and mouth gaping, “Did I take over the bed?”

 “Yes, in fact, you did,” I reply with a begrudging smile.  For the past couple weeks every other night, one the kids will wander in saying he/she has had bad dreams.  I’m not surprised because I know what’s really going on – stress. 

 One of the best indicators of what is going on with you, is to examine what is going on with yours kids or your partner.  If they are acting out of the ordinary, guess what?  I’m betting you are too! 

 Lots of things are shifting in our home right now – new doors opening and a move is on the horizon.  As exciting as that is, it’s stressful too.  That’s how the unknown tends to be.  Yet somehow, slipping into bed with Mom and Dad seems to make it a little bit better…And surprisingly, it is.

 Are the loved ones in your home acting out of the ordinary?  What are they be reflecting back to you????

Recently I’ve been discussing in podcasts and blogs about the energy of Spring.  I discussed the Eastern idea that Spring is the season of liver which is directly associated to anger and it’s repression.  So through this lens, these random acts of violence (4 police officers killed in Ca last week, 13 killed yesterday and another 3 officers killed this morning) are only random to the victims.  The perpetrators were vulnerable to snapping already, just something was that final straw…  

 So, invite you to be a little softer with yourself and all those who you come into contact with.  Maybe you are feeling the excitement of new opportunities on the horizon as well as the stress of what changes these opportunities mean in your life. 

 If you are feeling a bit edgy or angry yourself, try one of these quick fixes: take a salt water bath, sit in the sun, go for a walk, eat a piece of fruit, meditate…but if you need something more, try acupuncture, or talk to someone such as a therapist or life coach. 

 Sometimes just being reminded about the qualities of the Spring’s energy, both good and bad, helps you to regain balance and take better care of yourself. 

I love Spring and it also makes me a little nuts.  I like to remind myself and all my client of the many faces of Spring right about now…Yes, Spring tends to be a time of new beginnings and opportunities, but also there is the tilling of the earth…or more personally, chaos in your life.

 Think of a seed bursting open in springtime and driving it’s seedling to the sunlight above – it takes a lot of energy, a violent force of nature really.  In Eastern medicine – the season of Spring is connected to your liver and anger.  So what this suggests is people struggle with liver, urinary and issues around anger more during this time of year.  Just like all the seasons, there are wonderful opportunities for growth and transformation, but Spring holds a dizzying balance of new beginnings and endings…Joy mingled with loss.

 Are you struggling with feeling of rage or anxiety this Spring?  Is there a nervous energy of possibility clinging to you?  Feeling a bit overwhelmed or out of balance?  Here are five quick things you can do today to support yourself during the Springtime…

 1.       Water.  Drink more water.  Go for walks in the rain if possible.  Intentionally bathe more or spend time in a body of water – the ocean is best, but a good salt water bath is a great alternative.   

2.       Clean out a drawer, closet, or room.  The best way to attract more into your life is to purge the things you no longer need.

3.       Eat fresh fruit.  When you eat only processed foods, you disconnect from the earth.  Maybe this is the year for that vegetable garden you have been dreaming of?  Lettuce and peas are ridiculously easy to grow…

4.       Laugh.  Nothing changes energy faster then good humor.  Call a friend or read a funny book to connect to that light place again.  Sometimes the most chaotic and stressful situations are absolutely ripe with humor if you can just get a lighter point of view…

5.       Meditate…Spend a few quiet minutes each day focusing on what you DO want your life to look like.  Just anytime you have couple extra minutes, close your eyes and see this Spring unfolding the way you desire – be it with a new job, or maybe a health transformation, or a new awakening of love, whatever, just that you are focusing your energies on what you DO want instead of negatively responding to what you don’t want. 

 Happy Spring…The blooms are coming…

Feeling overwhelmed?  Stressed?  Listen to these easy tips and get back to balance today!  

Let it Snow, Snowflakes falling one by one, Tucking me into my safety, Closed off, insulated from the messy business of life. 

Let it snow, Quiet builds, silently expanding with each drifting flake…Only to be disturbed by me, And my whirling thoughts crowding in with there noisy demands…

 I cry out, “Peace – be my lover, Come to this silent space and dwell with me. I long to be with you…”

 In the distance, I hear the twinkling reply, “Do you?”

Does your relationship feel stuck?  Going through the same patterns over and over?  Bored?  Read Passionate Marriage.  My husband and I just finished reading this life-changing book.  I’m serious – life-changing, however – not for the faint of heart.  This book is blunt with a capital “B.”

 Schnarch believes the dynamics of your relationships, for better or worse, are displayed in your sexual behaviors (i.e. who wants what, frequency, satisfaction…)  Thus what’s happening or not happening in the bedroom, is just another stage for the “real issues” of your relationship – trust, deserving, respect, etc. 

 Maybe you think you and your partner “can’t communicate anymore,” Schnarch explains how you are in fact very much communicating and how, why, when…There are about 4 or 5 couples he follows through their “time in the crucible.”  The whole concept of emotional fusion and self-soothing was keenly beneficial to not only my relationship with my husband but with everyone else in my life.

 This is a must read!