Watching your loved ones suffer is hard.  Harder still is not trying to ‘fix’ the problem or the person yourself.

 It is almost impossible for me to hold my tongue when I see my loved ones struggling.  Most of the time I am able to withhold my advice by the simple truth, I am not really doing any of them any favors when I interfere.  Sure, it feels good to me to offer my so called wise council, but am I really helping?  Or am I denying them their own empowerment by wanting them to do it my way?

 I may think I am saving them from making the wrong choice, but don’t we all know it’s in those mistakes that the greatest lessons can be discovered?  Within the lesson, transformational moments happen – ultimately unlocking each person’s own separate peace. 

 When I step in, I deny my loved ones this opportunity.  I learned awhile ago that when you really love someone you allow them their failures.  There is room for mistakes and you continue to love them.  You may not excuse or accept all the behaviors, but with healthy boundaries, you can still love them as they stumble through the quagmire to a new day. 

 Hence instead of offering unsolicited advice, I encourage you to tell your loved ones you belief in them.  Maybe you do need to connect them to outside support.  Do, and then step back.  Return your focus to what you can fix, you. 

 You will discover much of your pointing at another’s problems is really masking your own real hurts that need healing.  This is your work.

 Later this week I will discuss healthy boundaries and family.  Please email me any specific questions that I can include in the discussion.

1.         Go for a walk – alone, and without the iPod.  Let yourself sink into the environment with each step.  Breathe in deeply.

 2.         Listen more, talk less.  Let others finish their thoughts and their sentences.  Begin to focus on the words people are using when they speak to you – do you notice any patterns?  Same words?

 3.         Divination tools.  Pick out some cards, runes, numerology…whatever, just open yourself to more.  Create the space for intuition and guidance to bloom.  Have fun. 

4.         Art.  Create something – draw, knit, paint, woodwork, write…When you create from nothing, you step into the flow, time stops and the outside world falls away…in this space rejuvenation and healing is found.

 5.         Quiet time.  Spend a few minutes each day in complete silence – watch the birds out the window, look at the flowers on the table, absorb yourself in completely in this moment through your breath and an appreciation of beauty – how ever it may appear to you.  This settles the mind and creates balance from deep within.

 6.         Join a community…maybe a church, meditation group, social circle, book group…Something to engage others in a new way.  You will be surprised by the new, healthier people you will attract into your life as you step towards your own fullness, but you have to be willing to open the door for these new relationship to unfold…

 7.         Be kind to yourself.  Today be more patient with yourself.  Be understanding with your missteps as you strive to live a more authentic life…You are closer then you know.

 8.         Finally, as you slip into bed tonight, be grateful.  Be grateful for the bed you sleep in, the food you ate today, the abundance that is sometimes a struggle to notice – even though it is there all the time…Be grateful.