1. When we rescue, often we just step in without an invitation. We withhold information from the person to ‘protect’ them or we ‘do’ things for the person to make it easier for them, after all, we’re just helping.
Actually, there is a fine line between helping and enabling. I good way to identify the difference is to ask yourself if you are looking for a pay-off? Are you looking to control something, someone or even the information? Are you looking for love? Are you trying to keep things the same? Do you want to feel like the special friend/lover who really understands? If you are looking for any emotional payoff – guess what? You are in rescue mode.
As you can see, when you are rescuing someone, it is actually about you and how you want to feel about yourself. You may convince yourself it is about the other, but that’s a mirage to keep your self-image held up. If you are rescuing then you can’t be the one messed up, right?
Rescuing keeps you busy. Obligations are created to distract and provide excuses as to why your own goals and dreams are delayed if not ultimately left unrealized. It’s a choice. It’s a choice to get into your own life and rescue yourself from the same behaviors that keep you in a less-than place.
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