Listen to this short, guided meditation to identify and remove a specific block in your life today.  Let me know if you have any questions.

Trade some of your Reason for Wonder… This weekend, the big Forth of July in the States, trade some of your reason for wonder.  Give people the benefit of the doubt.  Play like a child again.  Lay on the grass, right under the fireworks so you can feel the vibration thoughout your body as they explode in the sky above. 

 Eat a huge ice cream cone that drips down your hand.  Roll your pants up and dip your toes in the cold, cold stream.  Maybe even toss a few stones in the water and watch the ripples expand.  Go on a picnic and don’t forget the watermelon. 

 Play like a child again and take a break from your problems and worries – don’t worry they will still be there waiting for you on Monday, but this Forth of July – join your friends to celebrate peace and the freedom to pursue happiness wherever it may lead…

Listen to this short guided meditation to ground yourself into the present moment any time you wish.  I begin all my workshops and meditation circles  with this meditation as a transition from your own personal life to a collective experience. Enjoy!

This podcast is focused on indentifying and transforming blocks to peace.  Through this guided meditation you will identify three specific blocks to peace and begin to heal the blocks easily and effortlessly with your thoughts.  Please join me on this transformation by listening to the podcast to the right.  Peace be with you.

All of my life I have battled perfect – being perfect, not being perfect, expecting others to be perfect, wondering what is perfect…on and on the thoughts unravel…I think I have mastered my driving need to be “perfect” only to have it show up somewhere else. 

 It is during these times I am reminded of my stumbling and bumbling through life.  Things are so clear cut in my mind, but when I really step back, I view my “two-steps-forward, one-step-back jig” over and over.  And in fact, I am grateful.  When I see this need to be “perfect” revealed - I see my hurts, but also the hurts of those around me.  Not only do I have more compassion for others, but most importantly - I have more compassion for me.

 When I surrender in my battle with perfect, I discover peace and acceptance.  Not a peace built on certain circumstances, events or people, but a peace with self.  True peace. 

Do you ever feel like you are emotionally spinning?  Maybe you have just had a difficult encounter with a relative or even a friend?  You may be able to identify – this person drives me nuts, but the real question is, why?  Why has this person been able to affect you?  Chances are you have been “triggered.”

 “Triggering” happens when some hidden emotional response is activated.  My in-laws are professionals at this by using guilt to trigger emotional responses.  For example, my husband’s parents will “talk” about each sibling to the other siblings trying to get them to speak to each other…”Oh, so-and-so, really does want to be more involved with your life, but he just doesn’t feel like you care enough…”  This is an attempt by someone on the outside to “trigger” or force events in a certain way.

 Even though my in-laws intentions are to bring the family closer, their manipulations stall any positive outcomes and actually inject more distance within the family structure.

 Often you can identify “triggering” by how you feel inside…When someone or something is “triggering” you, you may feel a tightness in your stomach or chest.  Your breathing may change.  Things may feel more emotionally intense or you may even feel cornered into a certain defensive reaction.  You are being “triggered.” 

 Now, no matter how well-adjusted and balanced you are today, each of us gets “triggered” every now and then.  The trick is not to fear being triggered, but to manage your reaction to whatever happens to illicit an emotional response.  So the real trick is, how to stop triggering? 

 You “trigger” because some place inside of you is feeling under attack.  For example, my in-laws use guilt to “trigger” the idea of “being a good son, brother – a good son would call his brothers, visit more, etc.”  The fact is my in-laws miss their family and want them to be close.  Instead of stating this desire or want, they use manipulation to “make” it happen.  They use passive aggressive tactics to avoid themselves getting “hurt” because when you overtly state your desires and wants to others, you make yourself vulnerable.  You give others choice - they can choose to say, “No, I don’t want to do that,” and then what? 

 So, how to get from, “they drive me crazy - triggering,” to witnessing what is really going on, i.e. the in-laws miss their family.  One technique I discovered years ago is “writing with God.”    

 Whenever you are feeling uncertain about things or are triggering, get a few sheets of paper out and begin writing with God. 

 For example:

 Kelly:  I hate my in-laws.  They f*&5ing suck.  If I have to hear another passive aggressive crap out of their mouth, etc…

God: Yes, they do suck.

Kelly:  Yeah, they really suck. Why are they so crazy?  Who tortures grown children this way?  Etc, etc…

God: Kelly, they are sad and miss something that is lost to them. Etc…

 (Notice rational voice begins entering the conversation in opposition to ego-centered defensive response.)

 The fact is your ego is the “triggered” response.  Using this technique allows you to release all your negative thoughts and comments – your ego defense, instead of the usual biting your lip and stuffing all these words deep inside.  By using this technique, you are able to release your own negative reactions, thus begin to detach and witness truth – your highest self, your God-response is brought forth.  This “higher” place is present inside you right now, waiting to lift you up, but first you have to release your “triggered-ego” by acknowledging the hurt and pain that is present first. 

 Give it a try…you will be surprised to discover your highest self is waiting, inside you right now, waiting to help you transform your life.  Your highest self is the path to happiness and peace everyday.  The choice is yours.

Years ago my father introduced me to a tradition that was able to bring peace into our relationship.  My parents divorced when I was about ten years old and my Dad moved south, far away from me.  We really didn’t speak often as my parents had one of those horrendous divorces.  I probably saw him a half a dozen times before heading to college in Burlington, VT.

 Needless to say, we did not have much in common and frankly, I kept myself slightly aloof from him as he left long ago…During college he began making attempts to be a part of my life.  He would take me skiing with my boyfriend, send money finally and call more often.   

One memorial weekend he asked me if I would like to do the graves with him.  Strangely enough that was one place we both liked to go – cemeteries.  We both liked wandering around old graveyards reading headstones and admiring the artistry of the marble works.   

 My Dad grew up in Middlebury, VT.  Most of that side of the family still lives there and our relatives are buried in several different cemeteries in the area.  I agreed, not really knowing what I was getting into.  He picked me up early that Sunday morning and I looked in the backseat to see all kinds of supplies – gardening tools, cups and to my surprise, chilled champagne. 

 We began chatting about where we were going first and my Dad started telling stories.  He loves telling stories, but this time the stories were of friends he had lost in Vietnam, Uncles wounded in WWII and scandalous adventures of my family I never knew.  I laughed, really laughed and I saw my father for the first time as more than the man that left.

 He was flawed certainly, but he was trying.  Trying to become a family again.  I saw for the first time how young he was when my parents got married and I found compassion that was not there before. 

 At each grave we cleared away the weeds, and planted pansies and marigolds.  We offered champagne toasts and funny stories to those long gone.  Quietly, without knowing when, a gentle peace had slipped into my Dad and my relationship.

 I finally had come to love my father again.  I realized wasn’t abandoned any longer.  I had found my way back to him and this family through the memories and stories of those long past.  That day, together, we found peace again in pansies and laughter.  This peace has made all the difference and I am grateful. 

Happy Memorial Day!  May peace find each of us.

Recently several clients and some dear friends have come to me struggling with the deaths of loved ones.  Death is often a topic each of us would like to avoid – like a dirty, little secret that if we just ignore it long enough, maybe it will go away.  However it doesn’t…It just waits for each of us.

I have an easy relationship with death.  I believe in a Christian model, however, I also believe we come back over and over.  Each of us has certain work to do in our lifetime along with the free choice to realize that work or not.  I believe most of the people involved in my life today, I have been with before in previous lives.   

A few years ago my step-sister died.  She died horribly – alone.  At first there were hints of a suicide and that is what distressed me.  I was worried her soul was lost and wandering – not knowing the grace that was available to her.  I learned of her death on a Sunday night and that Monday I had already planned to visit a mentor to train on Mediumship. 

 So the next day I went to my mentor very upset – worried that somehow Nicky was lost.  We set the space and called Nicky to us.  Immediately she came and she was so sad, but her first words were about suicide.  It was not a suicide, but a mistake – she just wanted to feel better with a little more drugs.  That was Nicky.  After she made the “no suicide message” clear, you could feel her sadness and she taught me about free will.

 She had said in this life she thought she could do it – beat the addictions, but she couldn’t.  She spoke of the love that was in her life always (family and friends) but that she never accepted while she was alive.  She helped me to understand each of us has choices.  Nicky chose drugs over and over – she couldn’t help herself and that is when I found peace.

 I understood each of us has our own “cross to bear.”  Nicky didn’t choose the drugs because of any one person.  No, this was her life, her choices and I could love her still.  I remembered her as a child and making friends with everyone – she accepted each person as beautiful and interesting.  This probably led to problems as an adult, but I know the very essence of Nicky’s soul is love – not perfect, but love all the same. 

 When we closed the session that day, I knew Nicky would be ok.  I believed in her – her soul.  I know her beauty and kindness will come back again and we will meet again.  Maybe not in this lifetime, but I know she is never lost from me.  She speaks with angels now, across the thin veil – healing her wounded places and biding her time until she comes back again.

Who hasn’t heard all the hype surrounding this book – Oprah’s book.  Several of my friends and family have recommended it to me and reluctantly, I read.  I say reluctantly because I am not a big fan of reading journals.  I’m a prose-girl.  I have only found a few (David Sedaris, Dr. Beryl Markham, Anne Morrow Lindbergh…go to my resources page to get reviews/info) that have a voice that not only resonates with me, but doesn’t bore…She bores a little – do I really need to read about her urinary track infection, the drama of embarrassment and alternative healing?  I’m sorry this just isn’t that big of a deal – obviously no childbirth experience…

Escape.  Run away.  How often have you thought about it?  Still, after all these years, the idea continues to attack your thoughts – is it possible?  Yes and no - there is a fine line between healthy escape and denial.

Sometimes, you need to get away.  Maybe you work too much, maybe you are in the midst of a very difficult personal issue, or maybe, you need to take a break from the stressful reality of your day to day life, whatever – escape is possible.  Get in a car, a plane or even a train, and leave that which is the reality of your life.  Why?  Perspective.

For some odd reason driving 50 miles away from your life offers you a little breathing room.  Exhale.  It’s going to be OK.  Somehow it is easier to step into that place, detachment, when the issue/reality isn’t crammed up your nose.  Sometimes the best thing an action-oriented person like you (or me) can do is get away – if only to force yourself to stop.  Stop thinking.  Stop talking.  Stop doing.

When you are in this mindset of non-action, you discover all this space.  This empty space that you have been filling with all the stuff – worry at the top, delusions of control and ego below.  The conversations, the phone calls and the deals that hold the tenuous balance of your happiness in place.  It is when you get to this place that the line of escape and denial can blur.

This is your truth.  What needs to be let go and what needs courage?  Sometimes life is challenging, period.  No easy way around, but straight through the crap.  Are you, in fact, making this journey more difficult on yourself?  What can you let go of to gain more peace in your life?  And this is the rub, that which you give up must empower you, not deny your reality, or your issues.

For example, you can control your behavior, but not the behavior of others.  Trying to make someone love or treat you better doesn’t work, but finding the clarity within to know what you need does.  Once you know what you need, then you are ready to come home from your retreat to complete the next step on your path to peace –  ask.

Asking for your needs to met may be a stumbling block, because asking implies your own worth, your own deserving to be happy.  You deserve to live a beautiful, abundant life.  So go escape, to discover what you need and come home — ask, and you shall receive.