Today is your choice. You can choose to experience this day with the past firmly holding on or, you can choose peace. Peace does begin with you. It begins with compassion for yourself and all those around you.

Look for ways to be peaceful, maybe go for walk with a favorite relative or friend. I encourage you to reflect on the many gifts you have received this year (a vacation, a new or renewed friendship, a job, a healing…the possibilities are endless) and say “thank you” from deep within your heart. For gratitude is a key to opening the doors to an abundant life. It’s available to you at this very moment – will you use it today to unlock a new Thanksgiving Spirit???

The holidays, that magical time of year, when families get together, break bread and more often than not – drive each other crazy. Oh, so much fun. Fortunately, through my own experiences and helping clients through these annual traditions, I have discovered the secret to better family holidays: detachment. Detachment can be done with love and even a sense of humor. Here are some tips to help you learn how to detach while being true to yourself in any situation.

1. Breathe. Maybe you become cornered by a family member in an uncomfortable conversation or maybe it is the things left unsaid that get your blood pumping, scattered your thoughts. You may notice your breath becomes shallow or even more rapid. Guess what? Stress has entered the picture. It seems so simple and obvious, but truly abnormal breathing is the first indicator of stress. Once you notice a shift within yourself, begin concentrating on your breathing. Breathe in deeply, letting the air fill your chest down into your belly and exhale slowly. Repeat several times to feel settled again.

2. Let go. Guess what? Those annoying habits of your family members are not going away. The aunt who asks, “when are you going to get married?” or “why don’t you come and see me?” She is not changing, but your reaction to her can. Think of a few lines that can stop an uncomfortable line of questioning. My personal favorite is, “Ummm, that is an interesting idea, I’ll have to think about that,” smile and excuse yourself to help in the kitchen or escape out back. These unseemly questions really don’t have as much to do with you as they have to do with the person asking the questions. If you look beneath the question, you will probably discover the pain or sense of lack that drives the person posing the questions.

3. Trust. I firmly believe there is a valid reason for everything that happens. Instead of falling into the old emotional traps of family dynamics, begin to practice the witness. How to do this? Watch and listen. This holiday season try being quieter and not engaging with your two cents over and over. You will begin to notice the poor behavior of those around you stem from their own wounds, not you. Once you see the raw places in those you love, compassion walks through the door. You begin to see their poor behavior is just a smoke screen to disguise their own pain, and suddenly you notice they don’t bother you as much. Surprisingly, you begin to feel grateful for your life and you trust yourself more.

4. Minimize. As much as I wish it were otherwise, sometimes there are family members who are just not pleasant to be around – period. Maybe they drink too much, play passive–aggressive games or are bigoted, whatever. Do not make yourself be around unhealthy people for the sake of the family. This may seem impossible, but in reality it is not. You are an adult now and no longer are you subject to choices of those around you. If the above three tips are not enough to make the situation work, leave – because you will do or say something you will regret later.

5. Do good things for yourself. Arrange for some time by yourself to do something you like to do – meditate, make a cup of tea and read a trashy magazine, watch your favorite movie, or go for a walk. No matter how loving a family can be, it’s stressful. Holidays bring out a variety of emotions, both good and bad. So take good care of yourself, and you will notice you will have more patience with that inquisitive relative that wants to know, “What are you going to do with your life?” Ummm, that’s interesting question, I’ll have to think…yeah, you know the rest.

6. Look for the gift. When you choose a different response to old family patterns, everything begins to change. This positive change may start with you but it will extend outward. You may discover things don’t bother as much or that you may even laugh inside when those inevitable inappropriate questions come your way. By not reacting, you change the dynamics within your family and open the door for better relationships.

7. Remember – this too shall pass, so laughter helps. Find the absurd amusing. The ridiculous gifts are an opportunity to smile, even if it’s on the inside. My mother-in-law goes around her house at Christmas time and seemingly picks out the most useless piece of crap, wraps it up and sends it off to me with some slightly insulting note attached. This is my Christmas gift. It’s not that she doesn’t have any money, this is her own game. This used to drive me nuts, but now, I laugh along with all my mom and friends as the gifts approach the absurd. I will never forget when she sent me a shawl she bought in Ireland years ago but hated, so she thought I would like it. What?!? Unfortunately, she cannot recognize she is really hurting herself with this passive aggressive behavior as it has a direct affect on her relationship with our family. I can choose to be hurt or see what is really going on – this is her stuff, her game and I don’t have to play.

So as you approach the holidays this year remember, there are only 24 hours in any day of the year. Sometimes this is a blessing and sometimes a curse. I offer you patience and courage. Patience with yourself and others and courage to be the change you seek. Breathe.

“Do you meditate?”  Well, I should, I know it, but I just don’t know how to get started….  Chances are you are drawn to meditation because you want to relax, reduce stress, maybe become more present, could be that you are trying to stop an incessantly thinking mind.  Guided meditation leads you out of your “old thoughts/patterns” and replace with some new positive ideas…

Having problems, check out Blocks.

Are you Feeling stuck?  Guess what?  You are not alone.  A couple days ago a friend and I were discussing how nothing seems to be moving – all the hopeful possibilities that were appearing on the horizon are, as the saying goes, dead in the water…I then remembered Mercury goes retrograde on May 7 – yuck – a time of much inaction and confusion.  Later that same day, Karen Bishop’s most recent post happened in my mailbox and I was reminded that sometimes, whether we like it or not, we enter the waiting game… 

I suggest to you that May is a time of waiting, watching and hopefully, shifting.  If you are like me, you can feel a change coming, but from where?  How will it look?  This tension in transformation is exhausting and when you are locked within transformation, sometimes you forget that this is temporary – it feels like this will go on forever, but it will not.  It is temporary. 

So if you find yourself in a waiting game, here are a few suggestions on how to use the energy and discover the hidden gifts held within this still period in time…

 To read Karen Bishop recent post on feeling stuck.

Learn how Mercury Retrograde will effect you, Astrologyzone.com with Susan Miller.

Today we are going to discuss prosperity and how to get it flowing in your life today.  Maybe you are a bit anxious with tax season, selling a house, job security worries, a downward economy. Well today, let’s shift those energies to begin working for you instead of against you…