Here are just a few tips to make this summer fantastic…
1.Picnic and concert/play.I began going to outside plays and concerts when I was a kid with my Mom.I try to go at least once a summer now.Big blanket, yummy food, setting sun and art – could there be anything better?
2.Beach.Whether you go to the ocean, a lake or even a stream – get to a beach.I don’t care how old you are – take your shoes off and dig your toes in the sand and suddenly you are a kid again.If you really want to feel good, build a sand castle and feel the years slip away as you play…
3.Book.Reading is a way to travel and explore without leaving the comfort of your hammock.If you are looking for an excellent to read this summer – check out my book reviews where you can find anything from hysterically funny (Me talk Pretty One Day) to self-help (The Power of Intention) to lyrical (The God of Small Things.)
4.A garden.Ok, it could just be a small pot with some pansies or a massive vegetable garden, but grow something.Digging in the dirt is calming your nerves and your soul.And best of all – it’s addictive…I check on all my flowers every morning just to see who has bloomed today and this year, I am even going to grow lettuce on our deck – my own economic recession garden…
5.Camping.Try going camping for a night and don’t forget the smores fixings!A camp fire is good for anyone’s soul and if you are a newbie at camping or haven’t been for a very long time – you are guaranteed to create memories that last…Just setting up the tent can afford opportunities to laugh for hours…
6.Forgive.Learn to forgive someone this summer – make up with a friend or family member that you feel estranged.Guess what?They feel just as crappy about having you missing from their life as you feel having them out of yours.So send a funny card, make a phone call or even send an email – almost everyone longs to be forgiven and bought whole again.Make it happen for you and maybe you will now have someone to camping with…
7.Summer Music.I listen to IZ during the summer or any time I want to feel like I am on vacation.If you haven’t started already, begin listening to “happy” music – anything that makes you feel light inside.Reggae is always a happy choice.
8.Go skinny-dipping.Nothing says summertime more then skinny-dipping.Find a secluded spot and jump in – your body will thank you by feeling completely and joyfully alive.
9.Pot Lucks.I love getting together with friends, but can’t afford to throw as many parties as I would like – answer: pot lucks!Everyone bring something and the party has begun with little financial investment from you.Best of all – your guests will love it.Instead of bringing a hostess gift, they can skip the flowers and bring something they like.Everyone’s happy.
10.Fall in love.Falling in love is not just reserved for singles, I have been married almost ten years and joyfully I fall in love with my husband over and over…Maybe as we have a picnic or lay in the hammock entwined and reading or dig our toes in the sand or even, when we forgive each other our imperfections and enjoy the beautiful life we have created together…
May these tips spark your own heart and help you to create a wonderful summer ahead.Enjoy!
Who hasn’t heard all the hype surrounding this book – Oprah’s book.Several of my friends and family have recommended it to me and reluctantly, I read.I say reluctantly because I am not a big fan of reading journals.I’m a prose-girl.I have only found a few (David Sedaris, Dr. Beryl Markham, Anne Morrow Lindbergh…go to my resources page to get reviews/info) that have a voice that not only resonates with me, but doesn’t bore…She bores a little – do I really need to read about her urinary track infection, the drama of embarrassment and alternative healing?I’m sorry this just isn’t that big of a deal – obviously no childbirth experience…
And I guess this is at the root of the difficulty for me with this book – it really centers on her coming to terms with not waiting to have children and starting down a new path with new behaviors and new beliefs.Me – I’ve got two kids, a husband and a private practice, it’s a balancing act here.So, after a while, her choices, behaviors and their reports became boring, predictable, slightly annoying and self-indulgent.
This is not to say there wasn’t good stuff in some places, but her experiences were very “me” focused – how could they not?She didn’t have any kids, divorced.She battles ferocious demons of depression.Basically, she falls apart and this is her tale of being put back together.All well and good, and this is where it loses my interest.I become slightly annoyed with this theme that to find higher spirituality you have to forsake your life and go to some far off place?Who – in the real world, has that luxury? Kids?Spouse?Bills?Job?
It smacks of an elitist sense of reality.Connection to the divine is not restricted to an Ashram in India or living in poverty on a bench for a year (Eckhart Tolle – The Power of Now).Actually, the divine is here and now, waiting for you to step into.I didn’t always believe this, but I found the key – here in my present life, not a reality that I manufacture to create an experience.Yes, I had to find a way over the years (meditation, Church, reading, mentoring, therapy…), but honestly that is an integral part of it, the journey to self.
So, I got bored with the book.I highly recommend it to ladies struggling with not having kids and fitting into a society that is sometimes at odds with that choice.This is a very real segment of society that struggles with this and needs a voice.However, I caution, you don’t need to go to India to find peace.It’s a choice, here today.
The struggle comes from an old belief system that you acquired during childhood and it is sabotaging your life right now.It’s time to establish a new, healthier way of looking at your life with better habits such as meditation and exercise.Peace waits for us all, here, not thousands of miles away in an Ashram.However, it may feel as if resides in some far off place…this is the journey to self.
Sometimes I forget I love Christmas.Sometimes I get sidetracked by all the stuff, the impending arrival of relatives, the gifts, the ill-will of certain individuals, even myself.I forget I love Christmas, because on this day so many, many years ago – I know a God that began to live with me.I know a God that sent his child, really his own self, to live among men – not as a King with riches to spare, but as an “everyman” brought into this world through an unwed mother, poor, but never abandoned.It took me years to understand the significance of this…When we think of God – maybe we think all-powerful, the ultimate “in-control.”Surely the God of the Old Testament displayed this imagery both positively and negatively.(Let us not forget rainbows where a sign of God’s never-ending love after he leveled humanity…an earlier version of flowers as a make-up gift I’m thinking.)The God of the New Testament is the vision I most closely relate to…This is the God that runs arms out-stretched for his prodigal son – aaaghh, this is my God.A God that knows no limits - that is always available to me if only I would just turn my face to him, to her.Long ago, in the dark of night, a couple struggled to bring a child into the world.Joseph did his best, finding shelter where there seemed to be none.Mary lay her newborn in the only resting space available to her - a manger where animals surely ate from moments before.Did she know that this was the beginning?The child she held in her womb so tenderly, even as those around her must have pointed fingers and whispered?Did she really believe anyone bought her stories of angels?This was the beginning – confusing, slightly scandalize, but a miracle none the less.If you believe the story, Jesus the son of God, then you know the miracle.The Jews of Jesus’ day were on the lookout for a savior who was promised to save them.Of course they were looking for a King in the guise of maybe someone like the powerful King David.Isn’t that always what we believe – might and bravado will win out?Some things never change…But, how does the savior come?Poor, son of an unwed mother, on the margins of society – the last, almost forgotten among us.Why did he come from the least among us?I believe he came this way to know us better, to support each of us more.Haven’t each of us been marginalized, less-then sometime?Jesus came to be with us, not above us.This is my God who came to the world, frail and helpless, dependant on the kindness of others.He came to be loved and maligned.He came to heal. He came bearing the name Emanuel - translated “God with us.” He came to live with us, as I believe he still does everyday in so many different ways.Reminding me always - I too am a beloved child of God. May you have a very, merry Christmas.Peace be with you.
How do you mend a broken heart?How does it get broken?Is it in one event?Or are there dozens of offenses before the crack?Oh, I wish I knew.For me, it happens over time, dozens of offenses forcing me to dodge and weave hoping to keep my balance.Some days I can, and some I can’t.In my early twenties, I dated a man, really a boy, who I adored.It was an incredibly, passionate relationship.I discovered passion is a slippery thing, it goes both ways.The intensity you love is equal to the intensity you hate.My, my does can that lead to interesting times…We stayed together six years.Our break-up was a pitiful good-bye, lasting a year of push and pull.The end did not result from a lack of love; it ended because of all the hurts.The wounds left to fester and grow.He was an alcoholic.I suspect he still is.I grew up with a father who drank too much and a mother who yelled too much.My old boyfriend was like home.I loved and hated home as I loved and hated him.I’m sure I even became the woman who yelled too often, much to my disgust.I remember after he left, laying in bed, weeping for hours - hurting so deeply from the inside.I would take deep breaths in all the time because I felt like I couldn’t breathe — never enough air, never any relief.Over and over, in my mind I would repeat this poem my mother once said to me, “I told my soul to be still and wait. Without love, For I know not what to love. Without hope, For I know not what to hope for. But in the waiting, there is faith.There is love, hope and faith in the waiting.I told my soul to be still and wait.”If I said it enough times, finally a peace would descend.Comforting me, even if it lasted only a little while.Today I know that comfort was God.I was ceaselessly praying with my poem.As I lay in my bed at night, I would imagine myself held in the palm of God’s hand.I started going to church.It was when I gave up, that my heart began to mend.I can’t say it happened over night.It was a process and time was a huge part of it.I can’t even say it won’t happen again.But what I can say is, I have faith.There is love, hope and faith in the waiting.In that space, God waits for me.I am held there and gently reminded “courage.”I told my soul to be still and wait.
I have been participating in a Bible study group with my church for about 3 years now. I guess it was my curiosity that first drew me to the Bible a very long time ago.
I was not raised in a religious family. My mother described herself as a “recovering Catholic.” Needless to say, religion was not discussed in any positive light. It’s use being only, “a way to control the masses.”
It wasn’t until I started reading a lot in high school and college that my interest was peaked in religious books. I became an English major in college and there were constant references to the Bible in literature. I felt like I was missing part of the story by not having any biblical understanding.
Whenever I read the Bible by myself, I felt like I was reading Shakespeare. Maybe some of the words were familiar, but I certainly didn’t understand the context or the true meaning of the passage. Like Shakespeare’s works, I perceived the Bible to be for someone else. It was too hard.
But my curiosity propelled me on. I just knew I had to be missing something in that book. In my middle twenties, I studied the Bible with a dear friend who also happened to be a fundamentalist Christian. Most of her social views were in direct conflict with mine, but I thought, who better to read the bible with then someone who would really challenge my values.
I know we read one of the gospels, but I’m not sure which one. Very quickly I realized, although we read the same words, we had completely different interpretations. The Bible I read, spoke of inclusion and love at the center, and hers spoke of the rules. It really was a fascinating experience and happily, we remained friends throughout our differing views.
I did not truly begin understanding the Bible until a few years ago in our church Bible study. Oh, I don’t mean I understand everything or even that I don’t struggle with the readings. Now, however, I get to the other side of that struggle and see the Bible as really a pathway to myself. It is truly a story about me.
I used to get so angry at Jesus’ disciples. They didn’t listen. They would bicker among themselves over who was Jesus’ favorite. One night, he told them to stay awake and watch. He even told them of the impending disaster in the morning and what did they do? Fell asleep, not once, but three times. This all made no sense to me. These were the disciples?
Then my wonderful minister asked, “When have you fallen asleep? Did you ever worry that you were not the favorite?” It hit me–oh my God, I’m the disciple. These disciples drive me crazy as I unconsciously see myself in them. I have let someone down. I have worried and feared to not be enough. Does he truly love me best? The Bible finally became a living book for me. Finally, it spoke to my life, here and now.
Now, I love going to Bible study. It’s like a puzzle to me that unlocks, piece by piece. I still struggle…Just last week, we were reading Matthew 5 & 6. Many people know these chapters as Jesus’ sermons from the mountain top. It is an impossible list of ways to live with God culminating with the direction, “You shall be perfect.”(Matthew 5:48) Well, this was just too much for me.
I think every therapist, every college psych class has preached to give up this obsession with “being perfect.” Isn’t every self-help book based loosely on this concept? So, again, I question my minister and she points me to translation.
The actual word used in the Hebrew Bible is “telios.” The more accurate translation is, be the best you can be in the eyes of God, the most perfect you. “You shall be the most perfect you.” Now, this I understand. This I can embrace, and I have discovered something new.
The idea of “perfect” bothered me because somewhere it implied there was a judge somewhere deciding who was perfect and who was not. What if I was not? Being the best I can be, well this allowed for error.
And there I was again, a disciple. Not a God walking this earth in the guise of a man, but a blundering, stumbling, soul landing in grace time and time again.
