At this moment, we are in the thick of it – both good and bad.  New obstacles and unresolved past issues have been arising.  Problems with computers, phones, conversations and flashes of anger have been flaring up.  We are half way through mercury retrograde.  Yeah!

Although this retrograde period may be trying, there is still time to finally resolve some old issues.  If you are struggling, look inside ~ are you making things harder than they need to be?  Are you self-sabotaging? (Mercury retrograde again…) What old beliefs no longer serve your present life?  What needs to be shifted in your thinking?

Here’s a hint to resolution – focus on what you DO want.  Instead of thinking about the things your don’t like/want, focus on what you do want – love, joy, success, beauty, peace…Try making a vision board.  This can help you discover any unconscious desires and integrate a new way of being into your present life.

Wednesday, the 13^th is a great day energetically.  Mercury, Jupiter and the Sun all meet in Aries! This means things can get bigger – quick.  Job proposals, past contracts, declared feelings, reviews, old friends/lovers, a script, books, ventures…all expand today.  Be careful – you just might get what you asked for!

Fair warning – Mars, the red, warrior planet is now home in Aries.  This adds to the already heightened tensions, as a myriad of other planets are already hanging out in passionate Aries.  Expect flashes of anger to explode – be it on the international stage or in your own private discussions.  Although you can’t stop the larger conflicts, you can respond more gently to the challenges in your own life.  Be aware of these tense energies and remember to pause before reacting.  This is your life; you CAN choose your response.

These are exciting times to be sure, best to respond with plenty of laughter, compassion and flexibility!

Dating can be an exercise in torture, but it doesn’t have to be! Join us Thurs on Indie Spirit @ 11 am EST as we discuss the Do’s and Don’ts of Dating.  Expect simple tips, meditation, great music and much laughter as Classic & Kelly reveal what guys/gals are really thinking…Indie Spirit Show on Blogtalk Radio.

Here is the bitch of it: for all my understanding and faith in a higher power – life is still not fair sometimes.  How can this be?  Where is my God from the 1^st Testament?  A righteous and violent God who punishes those who sin?  He will cast out the unworthy, right?  Then I remember rainbows. Later in the 1^st Testament, God gave up leveling the ‘fallen’ or debauched communities with floods and plagues to punishment them.  He became the God of boundless Grace.  I like to think he matured, he grow-up and discovered you can’t punish someone out of bad, but you can love them out of it. 

According to the Bible, rainbows became his personal sign of his infinite love for each of us.  However personally, some days I long for the Bad-ass God who likes to smite the wicked.

When I am caught in the unfairness of a situation or with a person, I try to comfort myself with the belief, “I can only see in part, You (God) see all.”  Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t.  I am reminded of Jesus on the cross crying out his last to his Father – have you Forsaken Me?…I know that desperation, the fear of being abandoned as you know in your heart you have done all that has been required of you, yet still you hang on the cross, waiting.  How can this be?   “I can only see in part…”

Here are just a few tips to make this summer fantastic…

 1.         Picnic and concert/play.  I began going to outside plays and concerts when I was a kid with my Mom.  I try to go at least once a summer now.  Big blanket, yummy food, setting sun and art – could there be anything better?

 2.         Beach.  Whether you go to the ocean, a lake or even a stream – get to a beach.  I don’t care how old you are – take your shoes off and dig your toes in the sand and suddenly you are a kid again.  If you really want to feel good, build a sand castle and feel the years slip away as you play…

 3.         Book.  Reading is a way to travel and explore without leaving the comfort of your hammock.  If you are looking for an excellent to read this summer – check out my book reviews where you can find anything from hysterically funny (Me talk Pretty One Day) to self-help (The Power of Intention) to lyrical (The God of Small Things.)

4.         A garden.  Ok, it could just be a small pot with some pansies or a massive vegetable garden, but grow something.  Digging in the dirt is calming your nerves and your soul.  And best of all – it’s addictive…I check on all my flowers every morning just to see who has bloomed today and for the past few years, we’ve grown lettuce on our deck – our own economic recession garden…

5.         Camping.  Try going camping for one night and don’t forget the smores fixings!  A camp fire is good for anyone’s soul and if you are a newbie at camping or haven’t been for a very long time – you are guaranteed to create memories that last…Just setting up the tent can afford opportunities to laugh for hours…

6.         Forgive.  Learn to forgive someone this summer – make up with a friend or family member that you feel estranged.  Guess what?  They feel just as crappy about having you missing from their life as you feel having them out of yours.  So send a funny card, make a phone call or even send an email – almost everyone longs to be forgiven and brought whole again.  Make it happen for you and maybe you will now have someone to go camping with…

7.         Summer Music.  I listen to IZ during the summer or any time I want to feel like I am on vacation.  If you haven’t started already, begin listening to “happy” music – anything that makes you feel light inside.  Reggae is always a happy choice.  And my latest favorite, Phoenix – let the dancing begin!

8.         Go skinny-dipping.  Nothing says summertime more then skinny-dipping.  Find a secluded spot and jump in – your body will thank you by feeling completely and joyfully alive.

9.         Pot Lucks.  I love getting together with friends, but can’t afford to throw as many parties as I would like – answer: pot lucks!  Everyone bring something and the party has begun with little financial investment from you.  Best of all – your guests will love it.  Instead of bringing a hostess gift, they can skip the flowers and bring something they like.  Everyone’s happy.

10.     Fall in love.  Falling in love is not just reserved for singles, I have been married more than ten years and joyfully I fall in love with my husband over and over…Maybe as we have a picnic or lay in the hammock entwined and reading, or as we dig our toes in the sand or even, when we forgive each other our imperfections and enjoy the beautiful life we have created together…

May these tips spark your own heart and help you to create a wonderful summer ahead.  Enjoy!

Today I stumbled onto two women’s stories about faith, God and the truth. These two women are remarkable and standing firmly in their faith – held by love. Two divine daughters both tested by circumstances beyond their control. And both found peace through surrender…

It is not WHY ME?, the question is WHAT FOR?

I invite you to witness their answers…

Chely Wright

Stephanie Nielson

Such courage is celebrated from on high! Joy and Praise Be! Let the truth ring out and set you free…

During the past couple months I have been witness to death.  A dear friend’s mother, small children and friends have died recently.  It has been an amazing lesson in living…

 Now is your time.  Today.  Nothing and I do mean nothing can make you appreciate life more than death.  Peace is to be enjoyed today and it is a choice…

 I have been honored, humbled and moved to receive updates of from a CaringBridge journal.  (CaringBridge.Org is a web site created to help you stay connected with loved ones during a serious health event.)  An old college frat brother of my husband’s is dying of brain cancer.  His wife updates the journal every few days.

 I can not begin to express how profoundly moved I am by her courage and grace as she moves through this transition.  Her beloved, the father of their child, her very best friend is moving onto another shore and she can but watch from the banks…How do you say good-bye?

 She is doing it well – celebrating small successes, humor, abounding love, tears and humbly she measures her days in conversations and words.  I am so grateful to be able to be an intimate witness of this family’s journey – I am better for it.

 Instead of shutting down, this woman’s heart bursts open – she has made to choice to celebrate and savor this moment.  Yes, she has made a choice to get into the boat with her husband.  To hold his hand until he reaches his own new shore…But she can not walk with him on his new beach, she must go back to the life they created together before this strange path unfolded.  She can only see in part right now…

 A couple weeks ago a dear friend’s mom died.  Unfortunately for this family there were many things left broken.  There are eight siblings in the family.  Before meeting the other siblings at the funeral, I only heard stories of the bickering.  In my mind I saw little kids fighting about who loves me best, hence when I saw this motley lot I was shocked to see they were all old people with gray hair.  For many of them, they had made the choice to be angry – forever. 

 Let’s be clear, most of us did not get the childhood we wanted.  There were real disappointments, betrayals, maybe violence and here we are.  I would say 90% of all parents are trying to do there best.  Unfortunately the best someone’s got can be stunning inadequate at times… 

 The wife I spoke of early could have made the choice to be angry – the situation is unfair.  Her husband was well just a year ago and now here they are.  I dare say this wasn’t the ending she wanted – it is cut too short. 

 And she responds with love, savoring the moments, the surprising conversations, thankful for the prayers holding them up and finding comfort in the sure knowledge – today she can only see in part, one day, one day she will see all…

 Information to create your own network of support through the CaringBridge.org. 

Last night, 8ish, I checked my wall on facebook and read the funniest, most truthful statement by one of my friends, “Would it be Christmas without a family fight?”  I chuckled knowingly, I have yet to see it happen. 

 Something pops up every year, some crap happens.  In my family or more often than not, in my husband’s family, somewhere someone does something stupid, often insulting.  Fortunately/unfortunately I being one anchored to the belief that each of us creates our own reality (i.e. valid reason for everything that happens) can not avoiding seeing this every year as well.  The question is not why, but what for?  Hence no matter what the ‘work’ I’ve done, the crap is still happening.  Again I return to the question, what for?  Ultimately, I believe to gain peace.

 What comforts me most during this season, is the sanest people I know can lose it during the holidays.  You don’t have to be Charlie Sheen to screw up the day.  A well placed word or question can have the same impact as a fist.  Hello passive aggressive.

 All I can say is there is a reason New Year’s is just on the heels of Christmas – resolutions and “never again’s” can often be heard tripping from the lips of one and all…

 Therefore, let me invite you to peace.  Let go of the words, the offenses real or imagined, any disappointments of the past few days…just let it go.  Peace is a choice.  You decide where to focus your thoughts and energy each day.  It may feel hard to let go of the offenses (really this is just your ego wanting you to be a victim…) but who are you really hurting by holding on?    You, and if you have kids – them too.  Leave or let go, pretty much that simple.

 I suggest a good sense of humor and me, heck I’m going shopping today with one of my very best friends.  Hello retail therapy – what sales to be had with no helpful digs…Happy Day!

For some Christmas is about the presents, the meals or maybe seeing old friends and family…but for me, this is Mary’s time.  I adore Mother Mary.  Through her, I have learned to be a better me.  Oh sure, this may sound trite, even a touch phony – but it’s true. 

 I did not always feel this way.  I struggled with Mother Mary for years.  I didn’t understand how she could just stand by and watch Jesus die on the cross.  How could she not throw herself before the soldiers shouting, take me, take me instead?  What kind of mother was she?  I discovered, the best.

 When my own son was hurt I came to know Mary’s heart.  Oh did Mary love her son.  She loved Jesus so much she was able to stand at the cross as he bled and bled, until finally shouting out his last.  Mary believed in Jesus and his own separate purpose. 

 Was it difficult?  Unimaginably painful, just ask any parent of a suffering child.  Some parents can’t stay, some runaway or reject seeing their child in pain.  But many more faithfully stay and look for cures.  Still others find grace when there are no cures.  And if they are looking, each discovers the grace of Mary.

 Mary stayed – at the feasts and sadly, at the cross too.  As far as we know she did not try to sway Jesus from his purpose, she loved him.  She trusted his boyhood days that found him arguing with the rabbis in temple when he should have been in the fields.  Or his many trips to the desert when he would came back ablaze with the divine, overflowing with new ideas.  She trusted Jesus.    

 She also trusted in the unseen divine that sometime requires much…Did she not know herself the cost?  The sting of judgment?  Pregnant and without a husband, forced out.  Mary knew all too well the cost of faith…

 Mary has come to me many times throughout my life.  I am unbelievably blessed to have such intimate moments with her.  The first time I really experienced the presence of Mary as an adult I was overwhelmed.  My first thought was I am not worthy, there are more important people/problems than me.  I felt her outpouring love even more keenly at that moment and the words, “You are my beloved child, nothing is more important” boomed in my mind. 

 Words can not properly express the magnitude of this moment for me.  The best I can say is my life split – before I was alone and after, I was forever held.  Not only did I realize I was held but that everyone was being held by unseen forces at every moment.  I saw ways in my own childhood that Mary’s presence had been there even though I couldn’t see it at the time.

 Here’s the important part – bad things still happened and I am still the beloved child.  I’ve made peace with my past.  Even though there was certainly hardship, I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. 

 Again, may sound trite, easy answer, but it’s true.  Happiness is usually standing right next to you, but only you can truly believe you are worthy to partake in the peace…You’ll have to stop beating yourself up, judging your own failings – real or imagined, you’ll have to allow yourself to come down from your own self-imposed cross into the waiting arms of peace.  She’s just waiting there, loving you just the way you are, patiently waiting for you to come home…

 Merry Christmas

This book by Chris Bohjalian is haunting, brutal and fiercely honest.  Set in Europe during the waning days of World War II, a tale of love, growth and the grim realities of war unfolds.  The story is woven together by a variety of alternating characters, slipping in and out of different scenes as the plot requires.

 I liked this aspect of the novel, yet I wanted more of the characters.  I liked them, with their good and bad qualities for all to see.  How many German families went along with things?  To survive?  Perhaps even to thrive?  To protect their own families?  And truly, who could have ever imagined a plot so vicious could really be happening, even down the lane?

 When I read stories of WWII, I wonder what would I do?  Would I risk the safety of my own family to protect the condemned?  Surely in those initial moments I would protect, but would I continue – as the risks and fears mounted?  As I witnessed the punishment of those caught, could I continue? 

 This book reveals the flaws of men without judgment – surprisingly, for it would be easy to caste all Germans as bad, Jews as just victims, and war crimes like murder and rape as facts instead of indicators of boiling rage.  An eye for an eye, even if the victim had nothing to do with the initial crime…

 Bohjalian creates characters and scenes that stay with you long after the final page has been turned.  And for me, that is a sign of a good book – it gets me thinking, expanding the horizons to include not just the pretty places, but all places in the drama of life. 

Think of the last time you said, “I want ____.”  Maybe it happened today when you ordered a latte or when you went shopping last or maybe when you were thinking about what was missing in your life – a relationship, love, money, sex, faith, hope, a job…I invite you to try this little game out, rephrase your want into asking. 

 For example if you are thinking right now, “I want love,” try rephrasing it to “I ask for love to be present in my life today.”  Feel the difference in the undercurrent of energy holding ‘want’ or ‘ask’. 

 ‘Want’ implies a lack and the question of deserving.  Fore when you say I want this, you create distance between you and that which you seek.  ‘Want’ speaks to unmet desires, an allusive hole within to be filled with this and that but above all passive.  ‘Want’ silently implies you are not worthy while also limiting your options to just one possibility. 

However ‘ask’ suggests you are worthy of receiving.  ‘Ask’ also opens the door to more.  By asking for love to be present in your life, you open the definition of love to include friends, family, strangers…The energy of ‘want’ fixates your desires in one or two small possibility.  In contrast by ‘asking’ you expand the possibilities beyond your own immediate desire – possibly the love you asked to be present today comes to you through a new friendship, that leads to a party, that leads to laughter and more new connections which leads to an extra sparkle around you and suddenly there is a love interest standing next to you…all because you opened to more…  

 Reminder: “Ask and you shall receive,” was the phrase, not “Want and you shall receive”…