January is long.  After all the hubbub of holiday gatherings beginning in November, January can feel an odd mix of relief and loneliness.  The dark days fill with almost endless nights and your thoughts – whirling, spinning in your head…Did he really say that?  What did she mean?  Can you believe that happened – it was horrible…Over and over – examining each incident, every offense, all the words…Why?  You stay connected.

 It may seem strange but the fights, angst and worry keep you in relationship with those you pretend to no longer care about.  Think about it – when you don’t really care, you are neutral.  When you fight/worry over someone, you reactivate connection.  In a way this feeds the connection.  You get to think about them and judge their actions/behaviors from your own other place. 

 Forget the messy business of real communication and speaking to the person, you’ll have the discussion/arguments in your mind…over and over and over.  Imagining what you could have said, what you will say next time, the witty comebacks…and there’s January spinning within.

 I invite you to stop.  Give everyone a break – the holidays can stir up emotions in the most grounded of folks.  Hence emotions can run high during the first few days/weeks of January.  Take a nice deep breath in – down into your belly.  Exhale.  Let’s try one more.  Feel your shoulders relax.  It’s ok, really it is ok.

 This is a time of quiet, a turning inward.  A time when being alone is essential.  This alone time is a chance to rest, rejuvenate and create.  It is the opportunity to slip into your own cocoon of transformation…

 The quiet can be frightening at first.  When it’s quiet you can’t avoid the real issue – you.  Yupe, back to you again.   It’s where the struggle began and where all paths lead back to – you. 

 If you are spinning – write, meditate, seek out support and most importantly, stop.  At some point you have to decide to think about something else, to stop yourself and force yourself to be a different way.  It’s not going to feel comfortable.  Why?  It’s different, you’re doing it in a new way, of course it would feel a bit awkward at first.  But do it a different way anyway.  Within a short time, what was awkward becomes normal. 

 This month use the quiet to discover hidden talents, write, rest and most of all, unlock peace.  Let the quiet tuck you into solitude and rejuvenation – the flowers will bloom in later in Springtime, now is a time to quietly transform…