At this moment, we are in the thick of it – both good and bad.  New obstacles and unresolved past issues have been arising.  Problems with computers, phones, conversations and flashes of anger have been flaring up.  We are half way through mercury retrograde.  Yeah!

Although this retrograde period may be trying, there is still time to finally resolve some old issues.  If you are struggling, look inside ~ are you making things harder than they need to be?  Are you self-sabotaging? (Mercury retrograde again…) What old beliefs no longer serve your present life?  What needs to be shifted in your thinking?

Here’s a hint to resolution – focus on what you DO want.  Instead of thinking about the things your don’t like/want, focus on what you do want – love, joy, success, beauty, peace…Try making a vision board.  This can help you discover any unconscious desires and integrate a new way of being into your present life.

Wednesday, the 13^th is a great day energetically.  Mercury, Jupiter and the Sun all meet in Aries! This means things can get bigger – quick.  Job proposals, past contracts, declared feelings, reviews, old friends/lovers, a script, books, ventures…all expand today.  Be careful – you just might get what you asked for!

Fair warning – Mars, the red, warrior planet is now home in Aries.  This adds to the already heightened tensions, as a myriad of other planets are already hanging out in passionate Aries.  Expect flashes of anger to explode – be it on the international stage or in your own private discussions.  Although you can’t stop the larger conflicts, you can respond more gently to the challenges in your own life.  Be aware of these tense energies and remember to pause before reacting.  This is your life; you CAN choose your response.

These are exciting times to be sure, best to respond with plenty of laughter, compassion and flexibility!

That day is upon us, Valentine’s Day. For years a girlfriend and I have referred to it as “Happy V.D.” ~ followed by much giggling. Valentine’s Day is quite a conundrum. I like the idea of celebrating love, but find the whole day, kind of a set up for failure.

If I chose to say I am above that “kind of manufactured display of love” and not participate, certainly I’m unhappy. Where are my chocolates? Thank God, I no longer work in an office where the relentless parade of delivered flowers consumed me. I can honestly say, what I dislike the most, is the exclusionary aspect of the celebration. You don’t have a Valentine?

I did a little research on the origins of Valentine’s Day using the Wikipedia encyclopedia, only to discover its beginnings had little to do with “romantic love”…

The feast of St. Valentine was first decreed in 496 by Pope Gelasius, possibly as an attempt to supersede the pagan holiday of Lupercalia. ‘Valentine’ was the name of one or more martyred Christian Saints. Nothing is known about them except “their feats were known to God” – a dubious beginning to be sure…

It was in the 14th century that author Geoffrey Chaucer first associated the feast with the notion of “romantic love.” Ummmm, so we can thank an author with a knack for refined “fart” jokes for this celebration…There is a certain kind of symmetry to that I think.

As you can guess, I do like to participate in Valentine’s Day. However, I have modified it to fit me. I send Valentines to my girlfriends. I give my husband instructions, “Chocolate and lingerie.” (“Lingerie” can easily be exchanged for “shiny baubles” depending how I feel about my dress size that year.) I buy my husband and my kids something small with homemade cards attached. And, I buy myself flowers. Pretty, pretty flowers. Happy V.D.

“Now remember with Saturn going retrograde, karma is due.  Old lovers are going to contact you.  It’s resolution time baby!”  I said on Indie Spirit last week…

As these words came tripping out of my mouth days ago, I was thinking, oh Kelly, heed the warning sister…Yesterday I was contacted by a long, lost lover.  He found me on Facebook, of course.  He is far, far away in another country ~ bored in the middle of the night.

This man was not someone I loved, nor was I someone he loved, but we shared a magical escape once a long time ago.  He wanted to know if I still had my tattoo.  He wanted to tell me he has never forgotten my tattoo or me…

We wrote of kids, marriage and laughed about our own adventures.  We chatted up happy lives of here and now.  It was somewhere in the middle of the chat, I felt myself detach – why was this happening?  Ok, Saturn retrograde, yeah, yeah…but what do I need to hear and what could lead me astray?

And he wrote it again, “I just wanted you to know I will never forget you or the adventure…”

I responded with a laughing, “Never ever.”  Just then I realized he was making sure I didn’t ever forget about him.  He needed to be SEEN as that guy from that night.  He needed to be tattooed into this memory.  For it was tattooed onto him.

Now I could be lead astray here, wanting this experience to be more, but it’s not about me.  Yes, it is a compliment to be contacted and remembered, but it really has nothing to do with me. It’s about him.  Just as my reaction years ago was about me…

We were in Ireland celebrating my Mother’s 50^th Birthday with my stepfather, Mom, nine-year-old sister and me.  It was kind of ‘the best of times/worst of times trip.’  For an entire week my mother treated me like I was nine instead of 26.  We could only stop at places in the travel guide Fodor’s.  Needless to say by the last night in Ireland I was ready to cut loose.  My family flew out that day and I was alone for a night…well, not for long.

It was a night to remember.  Completely separate from me and my life in the states.  When I got back to the states I told a friend about my adventure and he reflected back to me, “I think you just needed to prove to yourself you weren’t a child but a woman.”

He was right.  I needed to prove to everyone I was not a little girl!  I laughed immediately and that became my focus of that experience – being in the fullness of womanhood.  Empowered, attractive, fiery, passionate, bold and laughter.  Celtic Brigit energy surely.

Fast forward to now.  This lover of my youth is now a middle-aged man.  Something drives him to connect again to that brash, young man from long ago.  He is compelled to be seen fully as that man from that night.  He needed to know that guy is in there, somewhere.  Only he knows the reasons why and I will not ask.  My life is here.

For my Celtic Brigit energy has only grown wiser.  The Goddess Brigit has three faces – the maiden, the matron and the crone.  I have left the maiden on distant shores years ago.  I am in the matron phase with a beloved husband, beautiful children and a graceful life.  Yet amusingly, I have been gratefully reminded that I am still that lass of yesterday too – empowered, attractive, fiery, passionate, bold and laughing.  Glad some things never change.  Thank you Saturn Retrograde.

Are you running into the same old Patterns?  Instead of getting stuck in a negative spiral of, “Why me?”  Discover how to ask yourself, “What for?” and find real solutions.Join us tonight on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/indieonair for solutions, meditation, laughs and you just may learn something.  Also discussing Mercury Retrograde and You!

Looking for daily inspiration?  Join my Facebook page, The Indie Spirit, to connect to others and feel good.  Each week I co-host a radio show about all things Spirit with Jeff “Classic” Popka on http:www.blogtalkradio.com/indieonair.  It’s Thursday evening 6pm MST – we meditate, discuss, answer call-in questions – everything from matters of the heart to career guidance to connecting to peace.  Hope you can join us.

Want to learn about Animal Spirits/Guides? Join me tonight on the Indie Spirit BlogTalk Radio Show 8 pm EST/7 pm CST/6 pm MST/5 pm PST…Ask questions. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/indieonair

The Pilot show of The Indie Spirit featuring ME debuts this Thu @ 7pm CST. Kelly is a spiritual intuitive and will be giving phone readings for callers. Classic co-hosts and plays a little music as well. Learn to look inward for peace & inspiration during this laid back, fun program. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/indieonair

Join us on Facebook.

For the past couple months I have had a plan to move our family to Costa Rica.  We have wanted to move abroad for about a year and while vacationing, we fell in love with Costa Rica.  We love the energy, the beaches/mountains, the climate (best in the world according to National Geographic!) and the people.  It is just fantastic.

We began thinking about moving to Costa Rica very seriously three months ago.  Things seemed to be opening in that direction.  I partnered with a wonderful new friend to run Yoga/Meditation Retreats in Atenas, Costa Rica this November.  I began researching and discovering all sorts of support already in place thus leading me to believe moving to Costa Rica was our path.

Six days ago I came down to Costa Rica to begin setting the retreats in motion and life shifted again.  The reality of being a gringo in a third world country become stunning disappointing.  Just by my white skin alone – I am assumed by Ticos (Costa Rican citizens) to be rich and the prices are automatically doubled.  By Tico standards of living (a family salary of roughly $12,000 a year) we are quite wealthy.  Anyone coming down to Costa Rica is considered wealthy by that standard, hence Ticos believe you can afford anything.

And here is the other cultural reality, they lie all the time because confrontation is frowned upon in this society.  Ticos prefer to make up stories, telling you what you want to hear, instead of the truth that very well may disappoint.  Ughh.  I’m not even going to go into their sense of service (sloooooooow) or time…two hours late is normal.

Have you ever read Eat, Pray, Love?  Horrible book in my opinion except for the part about different cultures and ‘taking advantage.’  Here in Costa Rica, Ticos double prices for gringos because they have so little – just try living on $12,000 a year…The doubling of prices is not an act of cruelty or malice, it’s really survival (think Maslow’s theory.) Although I understand this, for me, it is unacceptable to live in community where deception is status quo.  I would forever be on guard.  Ughhhh. 

For the past several years I have been connecting to more Goddess energy – softer, non-confrontational, peaceful resolution.  I want to be soft and loving, not on guard…Hence I have been very sad these past few days as reality meets the dream and the path can not be a permanent move Costa Rica at this moment.  Third world countries aren’t Disney and Tinker-bell isn’t flying through fireworks every night at ten.  So I have had to shift and accept the truth sometimes the dream cannot be reality…A tough pill to swallow at any age.

As my taxi this morning drove me to the airport I received a call.  It was my other driver, Walter, who had taken me all over Costa Rica with my new business partner/friend as we looked and found retreat spots.  Walter is amazing, completely trustworthy and honest.  He wanted to wish me well on my travels and let me know how kind/wonderful he thought I was…I thought to myself – what a great business man AND most importantly, I heard what spirit was trying to tell me – there are good people everywhere.  Here their need is greater then mine – things are muddy when people are hungry…and I can still see through the muck to the beautiful places and people that are the Costa Rica I fell in love with.  So I will be a forever visitor and not a permanent residence…Not such a bad deal.

Hmmmm, guess this means Spirit has other plans…can’t wait to see what unfolds!  With that, I’m off to Sonoma, Ca. this weekend for more business and pleasure.  This is an abundant life, warts and all.  How blessed am I???  Brilliantly!!!  Thank You GOD!

Morale: Focus on the good, be willing to shift if need be and Trust the path will open again.

Everyone disagrees at some point or another, the trick is how to “discuss’ without resorting to name-calling, finger-pointing or personal attacks.  This may be easy with a store clerk, but with a spouse or friend things can get complicated quick.  These are a few tips this Irish, red-head has picked up through ten-plus years of marriage and many clients…

 1.       Shut your mouth and listen.  Actually listen to the person you are in conflict with – do not plan your next verbal attack while the other person is speaking.  A way to force yourself to do this is to repeat back to the other person what their complaint is after him/her stops speaking.  For example, “I hear you are mad at me because I am late, correct?”

 2.       Walk away to take some time to settle down.  Sometimes whatever you are arguing about can be quite painful or upsetting and you may start feeling yourself becoming defensive and/or accusing – this is not going to lead to a positive outcome, so allow yourself some space to settle down.  Let your partner know you need some time to settle down and try to set up another time to discuss this later.  Doing this allows you to focus on the “real issues” instead of your “bad reactions” that may distract you from the “real issues.”  Some years ago when my husband and I were in marriage counseling.  My husband would do something stupid/selfish and I would go ballistic.  It took us a long time to get to his very, real bad behaviors because my reactions would be so outrageous as to eclipse his negative behaviors.  I had to learn to settle myself down before/during discussions as to deal with the real issues.

 3.       Breathing.  Sometimes in the heat of an argument you may realize you are holding your breath or experience shallow breathing.  Stop speaking for a few moments and just breathe.  Use your breath to sooth yourself back down to more relaxed space – you will notice you can listen better and have more clarity after you regain your footing.

 4.       Do you want to be right or do you want to find common ground?  This is your ego wanting to “win” your arguments.  Being right all the time can ultimately lead to isolation and loneliness.  The real question to ask yourself is – why do I have to be right?  Ask yourself in the middle of an argument – am I trying to be right or can we compromise?  It takes two people to argument, but one to make a change for the better.

 5.       What is your part?  Be honest, you do have a part – even if it is very small.  The quicker you can focus on your part in the argument, the quicker you will get to resolution.  When you discover your part, you are able to learn – how to avoid this in the future, or what is important to you or even, why this isn’t working?  With better information and clarity you are able to make healthier decisions that meet the needs of both of you instead of just one. 

 6.       Humor.  Yes, some arguments are very serious and some would argue jokes are not appropriate.  However, I am Irish as I have said (gallows’ humor for sure) and the quicker I can laugh about whatever, the better.  Once I was with my sister-in-law taking care of both our kids (four in all) and my husband was two hours late getting back from a bike ride with friends.  Over the couple hours he was late – I was getting more and more pissed off.  Finally he walks through the door and my sister-in-law greets him with, “Hey, “dead-man-walking” – good to see you upright?”  I just about wet my pants I was laughing so hard.  Yes, I was still angry, but no longer at the point of inflicting bodily injury…A warning though, not everyone appreciates this humor as I have lost a friend by making this very same joke with her husband.  Needless to say, it would have happened sooner or later as I don’t take life/events nearly as dramatically as she did.

 7.       Flexibility and letting go.  Once you discover you don’t have to be “right” or recognize your part in the argument, you become more flexible.  As much as I hate it – disagreements, arguments are opportunities to bring your relationship closer be it a friend or lover.  There is no one person on the planet who you would get along with always – not even a soul-mate or twin-flame.  There will be disagreements in life if only because each of us is a separate, thinking individual with our own unique perspective.  Arguments are an opportunity to learn about yourself and your partner – it just doesn’t feel like an opportunity in the heat of the moment.  So breathe.  Be open to learning new information and once peace/harmony has been restored, let go.  Holding grudges or continuing to stew about past arguments is about you – not the other person.  These negative feeling hurt you every day and even draw more arguments into your life.  If you are having trouble “letting go” try journaling, talking with other friends or possibly seek professional help with a life coach or therapist to discover how to let go or what is driving your unresolved feelings.

 These are just a few tips I have discovered thus far in my many years of marriage and working with clients.  May they serve you well. 

It was just before midnight and I was driving home from the airport, alone.  As I pulled onto the deserted highway I looked at my gas gauge, two blocks full.  That’s strange I think, my husband always puts enough gas in the car if I am taking it to the airport.  It’s a brand new car, but he must know and I want to get home.  Five minutes later the low fuel light comes on and now there is half a block glowing on the gas gauge.

What???  First thought, perfect ending to my girls’ trip, are you kidding me?  There are no gas stations anywhere.  I am on a secluded highway with very few exits leading to nowhere.  Yep, raped on the last day of vacation, great.   I call my husband to yell at him, this has got to be someone else’s fault.

Through a confused and heated exchange, my husband guides me through complicated button pushing to discern I have 17 miles of gas left, yet 32 miles to my home.  Houston we have a problem. 

Ok, I’ll get off at the next major highway turn and hope there is a quick gas exit.  I am in the middle of nowhere.  Truckers flying by one after another. 13 miles of gas left, more yelling at my husband.

Finally I see an exit, there’s a Costco, home depot, but no gas station can I see.  Nine miles left, panic rising, I take the exit.

As I drive up to the exit ramp, I am freaking out, and then it hits me, Kelly, what the hell are you doing freaking yourself out?   You know you are divinely held, relax, call for Archangel Michael, relax, and through clenched teeth I say, I am fine.  Fake ‘til you make it is my motto…

Suddenly on the radio I here the words, “Have a little faith in Me,” over and over.  You know that John Hiatt song, which I don’t even like, but over and over I hear, “Have a little faith in me” and I am thinking relax, Kelly, it’s all ok.  Help please.  Where’s the help?

Just then a police car drives up next to me.  Thank you God!  I flag him down and we pull to the side of the road.  He comes over to tell me directions and although normally he would lead me there, he can’t just now as he has a prisoner with him…do you hear the chuckling God?

I have eight miles of gas left, the officer believes I should make it but he will have another squad car run the route just in case.  Great.

He walks back to his car and I think sarcastically, I love directions, I get lost in a paper sack.  Fan-friggin-tastic.  Pull it together Kelly, you’re held, remember you’re held.  I hear the music then, Latin music coming from the radio.  How did that happen?  I never touched the station.  And suddenly I’m laughing again; the Latin music is about the future.  Smiling, I feel comforted and drive on; it’s got to be just ahead.

Four miles later, on the right, just as he said, there was the gas station.  A SHELL station, I laugh again, I had been thinking about shells all day.  On the beach that morning, as I packed my bag, and most importantly as I dreamed of the future…another reminder.

I filled up with gas and got back onto the road.  I felt myself begin to panic with the ‘what if’s’ of worst-case scenario thinking – what could have happened.  Kelly, relax.  I laughed again and I was grateful.  These past twenty minutes have foreshadowed the future.  Yes, at times I will feel lost.  Worried I will run out of gas…but I have faith.  All matter of things will be well, I just have to remember I am divinely held and look for the help when I need it.  So be it!