Last night, 8ish, I checked my wall on facebook and read the funniest, most truthful statement by one of my friends, “Would it be Christmas without a family fight?”  I chuckled knowingly, I have yet to see it happen. 

 Something pops up every year, some crap happens.  In my family or more often than not, in my husband’s family, somewhere someone does something stupid, often insulting.  Fortunately/unfortunately I being one anchored to the belief that each of us creates our own reality (i.e. valid reason for everything that happens) can not avoiding seeing this every year as well.  The question is not why, but what for?  Hence no matter what the ‘work’ I’ve done, the crap is still happening.  Again I return to the question, what for?  Ultimately, I believe to gain peace.

 What comforts me most during this season, is the sanest people I know can lose it during the holidays.  You don’t have to be Charlie Sheen to screw up the day.  A well placed word or question can have the same impact as a fist.  Hello passive aggressive.

 All I can say is there is a reason New Year’s is just on the heels of Christmas – resolutions and “never again’s” can often be heard tripping from the lips of one and all…

 Therefore, let me invite you to peace.  Let go of the words, the offenses real or imagined, any disappointments of the past few days…just let it go.  Peace is a choice.  You decide where to focus your thoughts and energy each day.  It may feel hard to let go of the offenses (really this is just your ego wanting you to be a victim…) but who are you really hurting by holding on?    You, and if you have kids – them too.  Leave or let go, pretty much that simple.

 I suggest a good sense of humor and me, heck I’m going shopping today with one of my very best friends.  Hello retail therapy – what sales to be had with no helpful digs…Happy Day!

For some Christmas is about the presents, the meals or maybe seeing old friends and family…but for me, this is Mary’s time.  I adore Mother Mary.  Through her, I have learned to be a better me.  Oh sure, this may sound trite, even a touch phony – but it’s true. 

 I did not always feel this way.  I struggled with Mother Mary for years.  I didn’t understand how she could just stand by and watch Jesus die on the cross.  How could she not throw herself before the soldiers shouting, take me, take me instead?  What kind of mother was she?  I discovered, the best.

 When my own son was hurt I came to know Mary’s heart.  Oh did Mary love her son.  She loved Jesus so much she was able to stand at the cross as he bled and bled, until finally shouting out his last.  Mary believed in Jesus and his own separate purpose. 

 Was it difficult?  Unimaginably painful, just ask any parent of a suffering child.  Some parents can’t stay, some runaway or reject seeing their child in pain.  But many more faithfully stay and look for cures.  Still others find grace when there are no cures.  And if they are looking, each discovers the grace of Mary.

 Mary stayed – at the feasts and sadly, at the cross too.  As far as we know she did not try to sway Jesus from his purpose, she loved him.  She trusted his boyhood days that found him arguing with the rabbis in temple when he should have been in the fields.  Or his many trips to the desert when he would came back ablaze with the divine, overflowing with new ideas.  She trusted Jesus.    

 She also trusted in the unseen divine that sometime requires much…Did she not know herself the cost?  The sting of judgment?  Pregnant and without a husband, forced out.  Mary knew all too well the cost of faith…

 Mary has come to me many times throughout my life.  I am unbelievably blessed to have such intimate moments with her.  The first time I really experienced the presence of Mary as an adult I was overwhelmed.  My first thought was I am not worthy, there are more important people/problems than me.  I felt her outpouring love even more keenly at that moment and the words, “You are my beloved child, nothing is more important” boomed in my mind. 

 Words can not properly express the magnitude of this moment for me.  The best I can say is my life split - before I was alone and after, I was forever held.  Not only did I realize I was held but that everyone was being held by unseen forces at every moment.  I saw ways in my own childhood that Mary’s presence had been there even though I couldn’t see it at the time.

 Here’s the important part – bad things still happened and I am still the beloved child.  I’ve made peace with my past.  Even though there was certainly hardship, I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. 

 Again, may sound trite, easy answer, but it’s true.  Happiness is usually standing right next to you, but only you can truly believe you are worthy to partake in the peace…You’ll have to stop beating yourself up, judging your own failings – real or imagined, you’ll have to allow yourself to come down from your own self-imposed cross into the waiting arms of peace.  She’s just waiting there, loving you just the way you are, patiently waiting for you to come home…

 Merry Christmas

Feeling stuck?  Nothing is going your way? 

 Remember: it is only from the ashes that Phoenix rise again…

I told myself to be still and wait… 

Without love, for I don’t know what to love…

 Without hope, for I don’t know what to hope for… 

But, in the waiting, there is faith… 

There is love, hope and faith in the waiting.

 I told my soul to be still and wait.

 Merry Christmas, May Peace gather round like an old blanket…

“I believe the very purpose of life is to seek happiness.  That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we all are seeking something better in life.  So, I think the very motion of our life is towards happiness. 

 Happy Thanksgiving and may peace find rest in you…