There are moments in each of our lives when we see things clearly.  We get it.  We understand the ‘why is this happening?’ immediately.  Clarity.  However what you choose to do in those moments is the transformational part.  Do you seize the clarity and right your path, or do fears bind you to the same?

Fears of ‘can I do it?’ or ‘what if I make a mistake?’  ‘What will people think?’  Or could it be that physical or emotional pain ties you to a past that just won’t allow for true happiness?

Surprisingly clarity can be the result of making all the right moves or all the wrong moves.  Clarity can show up at 2 am or three years from now…the only truth you can expect from clarity is – it shows up when you least expect it.  And you feel it from deep within because it’s the truth.

Some people hide at these moments.  They talk themselves out of the truth that is staring them in the face.  For clarity is usually inconvenient.  Decisions need to be made and clarity is just staring at you, almost taunting you.  The other aspect of clarity that you can discover is, it’s about freedom.  It’s a moment of free will.  No controlling or putting a lid on things works at these moments – they are raw.  That’s when things can get messy, for awhile and then…something more.  Fuller living.

Often we want to think our way through life.  Follow a plan.  But life doesn’t like to follow a plan; it’s much sticky than that.  So you wander through life, bumping into the reality that you can’t think your way out of anything, no matter how hard you try.  No matter how late you stay up, no matter how many re-plays in your mind…You can’t think your way out of anything.

However, if you use a mind, body and spirit approach – well the opportunities are endless.  This is where clarity is born, from listening to your intuition, your passions and your heart.  Amazingly this is also when you discover the possibilities for happiness are endless too…

Dating can be an exercise in torture, but it doesn’t have to be! Join us Thurs on Indie Spirit @ 11 am EST as we discuss the Do’s and Don’ts of Dating.  Expect simple tips, meditation, great music and much laughter as Classic & Kelly reveal what guys/gals are really thinking…Indie Spirit Show on Blogtalk Radio.

5. Drive.  Do you have the drive to meet your goals?  Here’s the thing, we all have dreams, but can you transform them into reality?  Or do you find excuses, reasons why your dreams are deferred?  Is it someone else’s fault?  Are there responsibilities standing in your way?

Frankly, those excuses are crap.  Each of us is responsible for our own happiness.  Yes, duties, jobs, bills and family may complicate things – seemingly standing in your way, but no.  The delays, the discomfort force you to witness the truth – this isn’t working.  Instead of trying the same strategies over and over, I invite you to try something different – what is your dream?  How would you like your life to feel?  Now, what is one step you can take towards that dream today?

Do you need to change your attitude?  Do you need to stop taking life so personally and just do what needs to be done?  What stops you?

For some like myself, anger helps me connect to drive.  If anyone tells me, “No, you won’t be good at that,” you can pretty much guarantee my success.  But for others, any negative words keep them locked down – they don’t want to fail or be seen failing.  It’s safer not to try.

A variation of one of my all-time favorite quote is, “Screw your courage to its sticking place and do.”  Each of us has to discover our own unique sticking place.  Maybe the pain of a situation makes you move on; maybe it’s in the doubts of others; maybe it’s frustration; maybe it’s God…

It is not that the fear isn’t present when you do act, it’s that you do it anyway because you must.

For many folks, happiness feels like some far off place, for someone else, but it waits for you.  If you are struggling to connect to deep happiness from within, I invite you to examine five different areas in your life today.  Maybe you will discover where you stumble and possibly block happiness unwittingly…

1.      Inner dialog

2.      Faith

3.      Intuition

4.      Support

5.      Drive

1.  Inner dialog, or more specifically, what you say to yourself all day long.  Do you encourage yourself or tear yourself down?  Here’s the rub, you are interpreting your life every moment.  What you focus on becomes your life.  If you have a negative attitude, it frames all your beliefs.  Hence if you think life is hard, guess what?  Life is going to be hard. 

So first, examine your inner dialog.  Do you point out faults in others or yourself?  Do you look for solutions?  Do you learn from your mistakes or do you keep repeating them?  Do you ask anyone repeatedly if you look fat and/or attractive?  Any bells ringing?

If so, you are looking on the outside for a better way, instead of within.  Our life is created by our thoughts; how we think about people, places, our childhoods, ourselves, our families, our success…If you change your thoughts, things change. 

Instead of thinking you are trapped in a pattern, a relationship, a job, a car, debt, whatever…I encourage you to look again and ask yourself, What For?  What do I need to do today to move into balance?  How can I follow my dream?  What one step can I make today?

Tomorrow we shall look at 2. Faith.

When you are on your path, you are always creating a better today.  Moments bound together by the desire to live more fully.  Until the spark, the magic that pulls it all together.  The stars align. 

Sometimes you can’t see what you are building until you get there.  Yet you are drawn down the path.  Guided by a light inside, guided by your heart. 

I invite you to listen to your heart.  The bold and the seekers know this is where peace, joy and laughter dwell forever…Where is your heart guiding you?

On February 14^th the Chinese New Year kicked off the year of the Tiger – a time for passion, high energy, courage and impeccable focus. 

 If you want to awaken all of Humanity, then awaken all of yourself.

If you want to eliminate the suffering of the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself.

Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own awakening.

                                  - Hua Hu Jing c. 500 BC

I’m not sure you can teach happiness.  It’s really a by-product of listening to your heart, laughter or of even appreciating the beauty that surrounds you each day.  I’m not going to spin some ‘Polly-anna’ nonsense that every day could be sweet bliss.  Nope, it just doesn’t work that way, but what I can promise you is most days could be happy.

 It’s about where do you put your attention.  Do you focus on what you don’t have or what you do have?  Not sure – just try listening to yourself for a day.  Are you complaining or celebrating your life?  Are you pointing out the flaws in life, people, yourself?  Or are you noticing the leaves are just beginning to turn golden and fiery and maybe, just maybe that heralds in a more abundant time, a new beginning…

 What do you see?

There is a huge difference between thinking about what’s really going on and speaking about it.  Each of us can “think” our way through anything – a job, a relationship, broken bone, a challenge, whatever.  In our minds we can examine every option or consequence in a vain attempt to fool ourselves with the illusion of control.  If I think about it enough, I can control it, feel safe, discover the correct answer…but can you?  Unfortunately no.

 Here’s the thing, ‘thinking’ avoids ‘feeling.’  As long as you keep your thoughts to yourself and locked exclusively in your mind, you block much of how you feel.  However as soon as the words are spoken – all bets are off and the feelings come flooding in – both good and bad. 

 Let me give you an example, I live in Colorado.  We’ve lived here for over nine years and I’ve been saying I want to move for the past five years.  The timing has just not been right.  Of course, I see the benefits, the gifts received from being here but it doesn’t matter anymore – I need to go.  I can’t think/reason my way through this any longer.

 This past summer we visited Switzerland and I felt full again.  You see, here in Colorado, we live in the high desert – brown, little water, fierce sunlight and stunning, masculine mountains.  In Switzerland it’s lush, green, wet and the beauty is balanced – stunning peaks nestled against gentle green, rounded mountains and lakes.  It’s like being next to the ocean, I felt fed by my environment instead of starved. 

 Now this isn’t a thinking thing, this is a feeling, an energetic experience.  As much as I may like to – I can’t think my way out of this.  Being here in Colorado is now becoming more intolerable and it’s not because of a person or a thing, but how I feel. 

 Once you connect to the truth of how you feel about anything – the truth becomes annoying loud – vibrating in your mind over and over.  Hence impassioned difficult conversations begin happening with the important players in your life, unexpected tears flow and more surprising feelings unfold.  And best of all, grace finds you.   

For when you are living from your heart, magic is not far off.  It is close.  The heart operates from a place of light.  In this light, all can be illuminated, if you are courageous, if you are willing to live fully and dare to live your most abundant life.  So Be It! What are thinking about instead of feeling????

Maybe you are fighting with a spouse, a child, a parent or even a co-worker, guess what?  The problem is you.  I know this is annoying, but it’s true.

 Years ago, I would walk into my therapist office to report all the things my husband was doing wrong and the therapist would constantly redirect me back to myself – much to my annoyance.  Didn’t she get it?  If he would just do this different and that, then everything would be fine.  Uuuuummmmm, nope, she didn’t buy it and after awhile I understood.  The only, only person who is really going to make you happy is you.

 Now this doesn’t fit the fairy tail most of us bought with the castle and Prince Charming.  There is no one person as Jerry Maguire famously said, “who makes me complete.”  No, that’s a movie and this is real life.  You choose your thoughts and your life everyday.

 Now if you are rebelling right now, that’s good, because we are hitting close to the truth.  Let me give some examples of what I am suggesting…

 Say you are a stay-at-home parent and your mate is leaving you “stuck” with the kids/house while he/she goes out to work and sometimes play.  My question to you is, why aren’t you having any fun?  The reply of “who would take care of things” is not an answer but a set up.  Do you have a parent/child relationship with your spouse?  What role do you play? 

 Maybe your spouse is taking advantage of your kindness and guess who’s partly responsible for that dynamic? – yupe, you.  Why?  Because you are getting something out of this too – you get to be “better.” 

 Or maybe you go off to work and your partner has is so easy.  What do they do all day?  No stress, no schedule, get to exercise, no boss.  Can you feel the resentment building in this scenario???

 In marriage we make small concessions along the way to “take care of” our partner, however somewhere along the way we tend to get lost.  Our good intentions usually end up biting us in the bum later.  I wouldn’t say this is anyone’s fault as much as a natural course of learning and growing with another person. 

 What is interesting to note in the above scenarios is both are projections.  Although there is some truth in both situations, most of what binds us to a dysfunctional dynamic is “not enough.”  Not enough time, space, love, money, sleep, self-worth, sex…not enough, not enough me. 

 Hence, I invite you to look at your problems anew and discover what is your part and ask yourself, how can I take better care of me???

Last week while I recorded my podcast on “flexible thinking” – I kept thinking, “If you want a flexible mind, a flexible mind doesn’t just happen – you are presented with opportunities to be flexible and you choose to be flexible…” 

 A week ago Monday we had a plumbing disaster in our home.  The downstairs was flooded and the carpet ruined, but we have the proper insurance to make us whole again minus the deductible.   Instead of focusing on the timing (x-mas in two week!), the cost of the deductible or even the gross factor – I celebrated all new carpets (900 sq ft) for really so little out of my pocket in the scheme of things.  I stayed in this flexible and humorous attitude for about 48 hours…Then the hassles began…

 We had to leave the house for three days because of the sterilization and drying out factor.  Only I did not know this until the fumes were affecting my thinking Friday afternoon.  Quickly I scramble to find a rental for all of us – yes, the dog too and here is where the rub truly begins – where to stay with a dog???  I discovered hovels and shacks except dogs (not where I like to stay.)  Needless to say this is where I ran up against the challenge of staying flexible and the reality of I like my comforts…I had been so good about all of this – making a joke of it, focusing on the good and now the hovel…

 It was that first morning in the hovel that I remembered my thought the day before, “If you want a flexible mind – opportunities.”  I started laughing aloud and looked around for something positive to focus on.  Ok, it’s got the wood fireplace I like and I’ve got this puzzle…Relax.  Then I realized my mistake – when I was looking for rentals I forgot to use my pendulum. 

 Part of the reason I was so unsatisfied with our rental is I always find the best places to stay – swank and an unbelievable deal.  I use my pendulum for all kinds of guidance including identifying the best place to stay, events to attend and a variety of other “small stuff” that actually affects the quality of your daily life.  Over the years my pendulum has become an invaluable tool to weed threw the quagmire of options and discover gems.

 Then I remembered I still needed to make a reservation for Sunday night – this time I used the pendulum and found a gem of a place to stay.  Suddenly my hovel I sat in wasn’t so bleak anymore and I started to notice more – the gentle snow fall outside, the kindness of the front desk staff, the mountains that surrounded us…

 We walked outside only to be greeted by huge Elks with massive antlers casually eating the pine needles out of the window box.  It was amazing and magically to be so close to these wild beasts…and a memory none of us will ever forget, hovel and all.