I have never been a big fan of V.D. (my inside joke and nickname for Valentine’s Day – always makes me chuckle…) It’s a completely manufactured holiday by Hallmark and the florists, but still it is there.   And if you are alone – well, this holiday really magnifies that reality in sometimes frightening questions.  (Don’t you have a Valentine?  Why am I alone?  What’s wrong with me?)   STOP!  Take a breath – it’s 24 hours – pull yourself together and give these tips a try…

 1.  Reality check – this day shall pass.  Gratefully the day falls on a Saturday, so if you work in an office, school or the like – you do not have to see the relentless parade of delivered flowers and chocolates.  Mantra – this day shall pass.

2.  Make a plan.  Maybe you want to stay under the covers all day, but I encourage you to get together with friends and go bowling or ice skating – anything completely out of your norm.  Do something that takes you attention and focus off whatever negative spiral you are in.  It will distract you from “poor me” thinking and who knows who is ice skating today…

3.  Humor – if you are in a pitiful state, try to find just a little humor.  Watch silly movies, call friends who make you laugh…anything that can get you giggling will help you move through your emotions.

4.  Go outside.  Take a walk or go for a drive if it is too cold, but get out of the four-walls closing in!  A change of scenery will allow you to stop the incessant thinking of, “What did I do wrong?  Why me?  Will I ever be happy again?”  I promise you will feel better and be happy again (you were before, so why not?)

5.  Big girls/boys do cry.  It’s ok to be sad.  The tears do eventually dry up.  Just remember your tears are a wave, maybe of the tsunami variety, but a wave – you are the vast ocean.  Waves pass and the ocean remains.

6.  Get a new haircut, outfit and/or bedding.  Have you ever noticed how many people look better a few months after a break-up?  This is the upside of the break-up diet, i.e. can’t eat due to depression and sleeplessness.  As the song goes – wash that man (woman) out of your hair…your bed too.

7.  Buy yourself flowers and chocolate – the day before.  Whether you’re heart-broken or attached – don’t wait for someone else to tell you, “I love you, I value you.”  Do it yourself – then anything else that comes your way is gravy.   

 *Remember this is one day – 24 hours – this too shall pass…Happy bowling – don’t forget your socks! 

As the pundits and media make daily dire predictions about the economy, the environment, gas prices – a real “The sky is falling” mentality – take a moment and re-group.  Yes, these are economic dark days, but you do not have to be paralyzed by the ‘”what ifs” and other fears…Use these tips to create balance and reignite good intentions and prosperity in your life today… 

1.       Go outside.  The leaves are turning and a new season is upon us.  Sometimes in Autumn we drift back into old patterns, we may unconsciously horde things as to be ready for the winter or fall into “not enough” behaviors and thinking…This is a normal transition from the summer – a season of plenty – to fall, a seemingly odd mix of both abundant harvest and death. 

Instead of focusing on what is lost, shift your perspective.  When I see the leaves falling – I imagine gold and ‘good things’ falling into my life and all those around me.  I notice the plants that suffered in the hot, hot summer, now bloom with radiate color.  I become a witness on my daily walks of this changing season as it gently quiets with colder days and early frost.  I remind myself of the magic in the long, dark nights ahead and think of myself in a cozy cocoon.  This quiet slumber only lasts a few months, warmer days will come again.

2.       Bring the outside in – bulbs and potted plants.  You know those beautiful pots of flowers/plants on your deck/porch/patio from the summer – bring them inside before the frost comes and brighten up the inside of your home.* Suddenly your living spaces will feel invigorated with healing energy and thriving growth.  You may even get a new idea or two… 

Flower bulbs are another one of my favorites for both outside and inside the home.  I adore planting daffodils (naturalizing flower – multiplying flowers every year) in my perennial garden for Spring flowers and inside – paper whites and amaryllis.  In mid-October, I begin planting a new pot of bulbs every few weeks – hence I have flowers blooming all winter.  This constant blooming of fresh energy and color is a great comfort during the winter, reminding me of the quivering springtime just beyond the bend…

 *(Note to self – Before bringing the plants in the house, you may want to spray or let the pots sit in your garage for a few days to be rid of spiders, ants and other insects that my have found a summer home in your pots.)  

 3.  Pick a hobby – a friend in college and I would get together to “stitch ‘n’ bitch” or for the layman – cross-stitch sewing.  I paint today and I used to quilt.  The reason a hobby works so well at reducing stress is you can slip into a kind of “limbo-time.”  Your thoughts drift away as you focus on counting or color or measuring…In this suspended time, you become your best self.  Your ego falls away and you create from within.  You are in the flow.  By activating and stimulating creativity you not only positively affect your prosperity and well-being, but you also enhances your sex life.  Need I say more?  

 4.        Smells like comfort – cooking.  I know everyone tells you to save money and eat in, which is true, but you also gain more quality time with your family or roommate and eat healthier.  Find a cook book of 30-minute recipes or discover the mother of all inventions – crock pot!  The trick in cooking is following the recipes in the beginning and timing.  You will be shocked to discover how easy and fun it can be.  If you still are strapped for time during the week – make a big pot of chili or roast on the weekend and freeze single servings for later in the week.

5.       Volunteer.  Whether at your children’s school, homeless shelter or library it always feels good to give back.  By defining yourself as someone who gives through your deeds and words you activate the highest good within yourself.  When you connect to your highest self, you radiate positive energy. Maybe you have even noticed in the past while you volunteer, children and older folks are more drawn to you?  Your positive energy attracts more into your life and creates new opportunities.

6.       Laughter.  Watch funny movies, connect with friends or read any David Sedaris book and laugh out loud.  Why?  It feels good and lightens your mood.  Life can be a real pisser sometimes, but I swear, a little humor goes a long way.

7.       Manifesting and meditating.  By taking just a few moments every day to center yourself with three cleansing breaths and imagining in your mind’s eye “that which you desire” – well, these are the first steps to manifesting the life you long for.  Start today, and begin seeing yourself attaining that which you desire…How does it feel?  How does this affect your life for the better?  Feel “that which you desire” is already in your life today.  Through this process, you begins to integrate your outside desire into your real life slowly, almost effortlessly at times.  Try it for a week, just a few minutes before you fall asleep and witness the abundant surprises coming your way…

 Much of living an abundant life is about shifting your perception to one of expansion and plenty.  It is not about focusing on what you don’t like in your life, but what you do like – thereby expanding your possibilities.  Whatever you focus your attention on expands, thus by changing your focus, you change your life.

A few years ago, we bought our first house and I began a flower garden.  Quickly I realized the valued of perennials – flowers/plants that come back year after year.  Perennials are like newborns each year – full of hope and promise for the coming warm weather.

 The Hostas and Ferns appear as small babies right now, just budding.  I check on them twice a day to see how much they have grown and revival in there sprouts and unfolding leaves as I feel myself also awakening from winter’s long slumber.  And the bulbs – I planted English Bluebells last fall and can’t wait to see how they do…

 Why do I love these plants so? – because they remind of possibilities and unseen forces.  Much of what happens in life is about timing, waiting and trust. 

 The Hostas and Ferns sprout when the earth is warming up from snowy days gone by.  They may even have to survive another storm or two before they can be assured of warmer days.  And that is the other part of their magic – the perennials weather the storms.  Their tender shoots somehow manage and thrive under a sudden blanket of seven inches of snow – only to melt away on the morrow.  These seemingly vulnerable newborns are not.

 They are in fact hardy and resourceful – if leaves die, they grow more.  They are not deterred when bad weather comes their way, just steady.  They will be here after the storm, spouting new growth and trusting in warmer days…

Yes, it’s stick season again – frigid temperatures, no snow, no green grass, only dead brown for miles and miles with barren trees appearing like sticks planted in the ground.  Warm sunshine seems far off and the dampness begins to seep into your emotions.  Maybe you are a little more irritable, have a nagging cold or even just feeling a little blue…These are a few suggestions I’ve used in my own life and offered to clients to bring a little sunshine back, days before Spring has sprung. 

1.         Buy fresh flowers.  Put them wherever you can see many times a day.  The room will immediately brighten and you will feel just a little bit lighter inside.

2.         Get a birdfeeder and watch spring come to you.  This gives you something to look at besides the blur of sticks and brown that your backyard has become.  I have hung one right outside my kitchen window and I watch them while I am cooking or washing dishes.  Now, instead of seeing a barren, lifeless space out my window, I see families of nuthatches having breakfast while I sip my tea.

3.         Read a book or go to a movie about someplace warm you would like to visit.  You can fall into a different world – soaking up the fresh berries and brilliant colors to your heart’s content. These images can become postcards in your mind to revisit for their warmth as you shiver in your cold car on the way to work, usually in the dark.<

/span>4.         Plant seeds.  I know you did this is first grade, but you will love it, again.  It is like watching a miracle unfold before your eyes.  Pansies are easy to grow and a longtime bloomer.  Take it one step further by getting a pretty pot, dirt & seeds (under $5) and give it to a friend – share the sunshine! 

5.         Get back into your community.  Winter can be very isolating.  I personally struggle with not becoming a hermit.  Not because I don’t want to see anyone – but because it is so cold out there!  Get out there anyway.  Go to church, meet friends for lunch, go to a party, even throw a party yourself, anything to reconnect with people.  I think January sometimes becomes a month of retreat.  The holidays can be a time of stress for many.  Retreat is a good option, but only for awhile – too long and your healthy retreat becomes isolating and depressing.  So call a friend and make a date.

6.         Take a class or workshop.  Try out something new and that appeals to your “fun” self.  You will meet new people and maybe even discover a new skill you never new you had before.  And I bet when the workshop is over, Spring is right around the corner.

7.         Plan a vacation.  This is my all-time favorite distraction from cold weather and brown – beaches and umbrella drinks.  Go to Tripadvisor.com and begin dreaming, planning and manifesting.  Pick a place and visualize yourself there on vacation.  Feel the water, the sand between your toes, the sun caressing your cheeks…The more you do this, somehow things begin to fall into place…money shows up, time frees up and you are on the beach.  Thinking it into being. 

  I hope these suggestions help you as much as they have helped me and my clients.  My kids and I planted seeds this weekend and we all are eagerly anticipating the miracle about to unfold.  Are there any tips you have discovered?  Please let me know as I am always interested.