Instead of getting stuck in “Why me?”  Ask yourself, “What for?”  What do you need to learn?  If you are having trouble understanding your responsibility in this situation, ask yourself the following questions.

 1.         Is there a pattern?

2.         What am I doing the same?

3.         Am I telling my truth?

4.         Am I protecting someone’s feelings by keeping it the same? (can be your feelings…)

5.         What am I afraid of?

During the past couple months I have been witness to death.  A dear friend’s mother, small children and friends have died recently.  It has been an amazing lesson in living…

 Now is your time.  Today.  Nothing and I do mean nothing can make you appreciate life more than death.  Peace is to be enjoyed today and it is a choice…

 I have been honored, humbled and moved to receive updates of from a CaringBridge journal.  (CaringBridge.Org is a web site created to help you stay connected with loved ones during a serious health event.)  An old college frat brother of my husband’s is dying of brain cancer.  His wife updates the journal every few days.

 I can not begin to express how profoundly moved I am by her courage and grace as she moves through this transition.  Her beloved, the father of their child, her very best friend is moving onto another shore and she can but watch from the banks…How do you say good-bye?

 She is doing it well – celebrating small successes, humor, abounding love, tears and humbly she measures her days in conversations and words.  I am so grateful to be able to be an intimate witness of this family’s journey – I am better for it.

 Instead of shutting down, this woman’s heart bursts open – she has made to choice to celebrate and savor this moment.  Yes, she has made a choice to get into the boat with her husband.  To hold his hand until he reaches his own new shore…But she can not walk with him on his new beach, she must go back to the life they created together before this strange path unfolded.  She can only see in part right now…

 A couple weeks ago a dear friend’s mom died.  Unfortunately for this family there were many things left broken.  There are eight siblings in the family.  Before meeting the other siblings at the funeral, I only heard stories of the bickering.  In my mind I saw little kids fighting about who loves me best, hence when I saw this motley lot I was shocked to see they were all old people with gray hair.  For many of them, they had made the choice to be angry – forever. 

 Let’s be clear, most of us did not get the childhood we wanted.  There were real disappointments, betrayals, maybe violence and here we are.  I would say 90% of all parents are trying to do there best.  Unfortunately the best someone’s got can be stunning inadequate at times… 

 The wife I spoke of early could have made the choice to be angry – the situation is unfair.  Her husband was well just a year ago and now here they are.  I dare say this wasn’t the ending she wanted – it is cut too short. 

 And she responds with love, savoring the moments, the surprising conversations, thankful for the prayers holding them up and finding comfort in the sure knowledge – today she can only see in part, one day, one day she will see all…

 Information to create your own network of support through the CaringBridge.org. 

I really enjoyed this Alice Hoffman novel.  I loved the concept that there is a lurking angel waiting to offer peace where none can be seen.  The angel may manifest in the deeds or words of anyone – that’s the point.  A lurking angel to lift you up and bring you home to peace – everywhere and anywhere.

 The characters are haunted and imperfect.  The call to love draws each of these characters to do things they later regret.  They aren’t bad people, just unhappy and ignoring the eventual consequences of their behaviors.  They are just like us – stumbling fools falling into grace time and time again.  

When I picked this book up I wanted an old-fashioned romance, but what I got was a thinly guised social issue trying to be pasted off as an issue of morality.  This book is achingly sentimental to the point of nausea. 

 I love the idea of the weekly letter and the truth of what that could really reveal.  However about half way through the novel things get weird.  I am not going to expose the big secret/mystery accept to say I found it insulting.  I have no doubt this kind of situation happened/happens – what I object to is the preachy, religious tone that suddenly appears. 

 If you wanted to write a political ad, write it.  Don’t waste my time with tricks and gotchas. 

Fannie Flagg creates another small southern hamlet that one wishes to fall into – hilarious and heart-warming.  On the outset though, if you don’t like little old ladies with all their quirks and habits, skip it.  Myself, I expect to be an outrageous little old lady one day…

 Elner, Verbena, Norma and Tot each bring their own unique perspective to all they encounter.  Whether in heaven or at the beauty parlor, each has a voice that rings true with the reader.  Who doesn’t have a friend who looks like a monkey?  Thereby forcing you to rethink the whole evolution thing…

 This book is delightful – and a perfect distraction during the holidays.  Enjoy!   

If you have kids you will understand this statement – September has become the lost month.  I can’t keep track of all the papers – new school rules, permission slips, order forms, jog-a-thons, one-time-only fees, lunch boxes, lunch money, conferences, pages and pages of homework, completed work on the refrigerator as well as work ‘to be completed at home and returned’ the next day.  Aaaaggghhhh!  Stop – I beg of you, stop pecking me to death with inane crap.  I swear if I had known this before having cute babies – I might have rethought the entire deal! 

 But September is now slipping into October, all the permission slips are mostly in, and check-ups are complete.  Things will surely settle down for a bit, right?…Now what do you want to be for Halloween? 

Why is the line so thin sometimes?  It all came down to the tooth fairy.  My son is six years old and lost his first tooth this past summer.  Let me tell you we were awaiting this event with much anticipation as his older sister lost her first tooth at four years old and has yet to stop. 

 It happened in the morning – lost the tooth during breakfast.  With big cheers all around, we discussed where to put it in his room (his tooth fairy pillow) and not to worry.  The sitter that night would help him with his note to the tooth fairy…

 …I woke up the next morning to the sounds of a wailing child.  Running into his room and I cry panicked, “What’s wrong?”

 Tears streaming down his face, he croaks with a cracked voice, “The tooth fairy doesn’t like me – look.”  And there is was, the tooth still sat in its pocket and no money.  The horror!  We had forgotten – bad Mommy, bad Mommy.

 Without missing a beat I reply, “Didn’t Caitlin tell you?  The tooth fairy called last night to let us know she might not be able to make it here as she was stuck down in Africa with a family of naked mole rats.  You know they only have two teeth, so missing a tooth is pretty serious business down there.”  (Notice – blame the sitter was my first avenue…)

 Tears stop.  With a sniff and a rubbing of the eyes, he says with hope restored, “Really?”

 “Really.  I thought Caitlin let you know.  (Again blame the sitter – who we love mind you.)  Not to worry – everything will work out.  How about donuts for breakfast?” I smile feeling all of 3 feet tall.

 The next morning my son ran into our room with a glowing smile and dollar in each hand.  “Look Mommy, I got two dollars and I bet I know why.  I was patient and believed it was all going to work out!  And look it did.  It’s good to be patient.” 

 I kid you not – that is what he said.  How quickly the line tilts toward genius as he has learned about patience and delayed gratification.  Good mommy, good Mommy. 

 While on vacation later in the summer my daughter lost another tooth and again the tooth fairy got stuck somewhere (north pole – with the polar bears) missing the first day after.  And again all was right the next day. 

 Amusingly I know these stories have another life – after the identity of the tooth is revealed, in a few years.  Many, many years from now I expect to get phone calls from my grandkids telling me the tooth fairy would be coming the next day as she got stuck in India with the Bengal Tigers or in Australia with the kangaroo family and I will remind her gentle, not to worry.  It will all work out.  Did you go for donuts?

I have always been a supporter of Ted Kennedy.  I’m from New England, Irish, liberal and out-spoken – he fit.  What I didn’t know was how great the man was and I believe this was a direct result of not only the tragedies that stuck his family but of his own failings. 

 Instead of turning inward, Kennedy responded to tragedy after tragedy with love, joy and light.  I was amazed at how well Kennedy treated his naysayers.  Frankly, I was inspired to be more compassionate, and to suffer the slings and arrows with just a bit more humor.

 I watched pretty much the entire tribute – it truly was a perfect Irish wake/funeral/burial.  Tears, tall tales and God.  From John Culver’s sailing adventure with Ted that had me falling off the sofa laughing so hard to the story of Kennedy spreading dirt over a grave in Israel.  I was completely and utterly moved by this man, his life, his faith, his good works and the love he held for his family, friends and the least among us. 

 Perfectly, my Dad called on Saturday late to review the services.  I knew he would be watching – just like me.  For as Chris Dodd so honestly spoke – Irish love the funerals.  We discussed the letter to the pope – both of us noted how Kennedy acknowledged his imperfect life, but through his faith and work he tried to right his path.

 Our conversation meandered to our own family, and my father, for the first time, copped to his own short-comings when he and my Mom were married.  Sure he had said he wasn’t perfect, but he really acknowledged how bad he was and how ashamed he was of that time.  He can’t look back and I agree. 

 I am grateful for his acknowledgment of the past, but I believe in moving forward.  I believe it is the energy that you put into each of your present moments that drives your life today.  For each of us will fall off the path, that is given.  It is how we choose to continue after the fall that builds the character of person. 

 May flights of angels carry you home Ted Kennedy, bless you.

I slept with an alligator last night, my six year old son.  I was kicked in the ribs, elbows to the head, covers – gone.  My son said to me in the morning, with a big grin mind you, and mouth gaping, “Did I take over the bed?”

 “Yes, in fact, you did,” I reply with a begrudging smile.  For the past couple weeks every other night, one the kids will wander in saying he/she has had bad dreams.  I’m not surprised because I know what’s really going on – stress. 

 One of the best indicators of what is going on with you, is to examine what is going on with yours kids or your partner.  If they are acting out of the ordinary, guess what?  I’m betting you are too! 

 Lots of things are shifting in our home right now – new doors opening and a move is on the horizon.  As exciting as that is, it’s stressful too.  That’s how the unknown tends to be.  Yet somehow, slipping into bed with Mom and Dad seems to make it a little bit better…And surprisingly, it is.

 Are the loved ones in your home acting out of the ordinary?  What are they be reflecting back to you????

Hoffman again creates moving, real characters engaged in the messy business of life.  The book revolves around the Moody family and of course, the name fits.  This is an unhealthy, struggling family – secrets, affairs and drugs abound, but also truth. 

 What happens when fathers ignore their children?  Is this a choice or is it a left over wound?  Born of your own longing for a life not lived…And better yet, where is grace found?  Can the unforgivable find forgiveness?  As always, yes, grace can find you in the strangest of places.    

 Be fairly warned though, I would not read this book if you are looking for something “happy, feel-good.”  However, the characters and the rawness of their experience stay with you in a good way.  In my own life, it has taken me years to discover – in every experience – I can only see in-part.  It takes many different voices to see all and even then it may take years. 

 For peace is only found when you choose to be peaceful.  It’s an annoying truth that you and only you, can transform your life from one of pain to peace.  It sounds almost too easy, possibly condescending, but blaming your past for where you are today only binds you to a broken place that could be, if you choose, to be left behind.