You know this club, the life is so-bad club.  You can recognize the members because they are always talking about how hard things are.  They never have enough time because of all the things they are doing for their kids, spouse, boss, family, friends…But they do have enough time to tell you how difficult things are, yet no solutions fall from their lips, just complaining words…

 Unfortunately each of us finds our way into this club at some time.  We don’t usually intend to be a part of this club, but somehow the dynamics of a group or a single friendship will deteriorate into this place.  What begins as voicing a concern, becomes a negative focus.  Maybe the group begins whining about work or a friend complains about a sagging relationship, but it doesn’t stop there with letting off steam, it becomes relentless.  It’s all you discuss – how bad this is…

 When you discover yourself in this group – stop.  Don’t blame anyone else, you got yourself here, now how to get out?  Expand.

 The reason you are in this negative dynamic now is because you feel power-less and you are stuck in a bad habit of thinking.  For now, try to distance yourself from this group or friendship and make some space for yourself.  What are you afraid of?  Are there solutions that you haven’t considered?  Do you need a change?

 When you discover yourself in the so-bad club, it’s time to detach.  Do you really want to complain your life away?  I think not, but this is a sign you need support to make a shift.  Maybe try reaching out to a trusted friend or even someone like me, a life coach and begin setting goals to create the life you deserve.  Happiness is no far off shore, it’s just waiting for you to step into… 

Years ago I read or someone said to me – happiness is a by-product of a fulfilled life.  Of course I could see the truth of this statement at the time, but what I did not anticipate, over the course of living, is how much the definition of a fulfilled life would change…

 Let’s be clear we all strived to have a fulfilling life in the beginning, but what exactly does that mean?  It seems just when our lives are full with spouses, kids, work, money, debt, exercise, food…these very full lives aren’t so happy.  There is no time, too much to do, too full.  Aren’t you happy?  Can’t you feel the happy by-product of all this fullness???  No? 

 Sometime I believe we get lost a little – we think fullness is a result of doing.  The more we do, the happier we will be.  Unfortunately instead of happiness, all this doing leads to exhaustion and dissatisfaction with life.  It leads to simmering anger and resentment – after all, I’m doing this for you! 

I encourage you to look at your life at this moment – are you doing too much all to be happy?  To make someone else happy? 

 Happiness is a by-product of a fulfilled life.  However a fulfilled life is defined through balance, gratitude, love, humor and expansion.  But here’s the deal, there are times in your life where the interior of your life has to be big because the exterior of your life is limited.

 What pops to mind are the months I spent sitting on the couch breastfeeding and watching trashy TV.  It was a boring period in our lives, just ask my husband, lots of DVDs, but I was happy.  A bit mind numbed certainly, but happy.  I surrendered; I shifted my imagined full life to fit where I was right then.  I stopped trying to put/fit everything/everyone in and I surrendered to that moment.  I was fulfilled, I was enough.

 I would love to say I have always found this balance wherever life found me, but alas not, feet of clay here.  I sometimes get caught back up in enough – having enough, being enough, doing enough…until I am angry and frustrated – with God, life, myself, my husband, family, work, the store clerk….But this is where I make the turn.  My anger tips me off that I need to make a shift, a shift to re-evaluate and find my footing again – the quicker, the better. 

 For I know happiness is a by-product of a fulfilled life and that changes all the time.