Lately I have been focused on the word surrender.  I can frankly say surrender is in exact opposition of my personality – I’m a doer.  In the beginning of the week a friend said to me, “Sounds like you have to surrender.” 

 What the hell kind of comment is that?  Can we say “useless?”  Imagine that I could surrender?  Me, the girl who’s name means “warrior?”  No, no there has to be something more I can do???  I think, think, think, twisting and turning the issues in my mind looking for anything not thought of – hopeful to see the puzzle finally set right, but no there are no new angles.  It is just beyond my control.  I can only see in part while so much has yet to be revealed…

 I tell myself the tricks – focus on manifesting, see the picture you desire, light candles, pray…yet still I am left in the dark.  I vacillate between shaking my fist at God and fear of what will be.  I feel myself on this hinge point between what was and what will be. 

 What I do know is life has changed forever – and amusingly, it was nothing I did or expected.  Life bumped into me – not tragically, but a powerful, unexpected awakening that blew apart long held beliefs of right or wrong.  A door I chose to close years ago burst open and I am grateful, even as I hear a chuckling God. 

 And I also see, surrender is my only path to peace.  I have done all I can do, said all the words that need to be said, I must wait for heaven to act.  So I light candles, say prayers, see the picture I desire in my mind and I comfort myself with the firm truth – I will not be in limbo forever, just awhile…Therefore I savor this life right now because it is shifting beneath my feet forever.  Things will be lost just as assuredly as new things will be found. I wait on the will of heaven to be revealed, confident I am protected and thrilled at what is to be…

There are times in your life when you may feel as though you are stumbling through, destination unknown.  Maybe you are.  And then time passes and you begin to see the stumbling was really moving you forward to a truth or goal that had not yet been revealed. 

 Years ago I received great advice – take one step each day toward your goal.  Of course, the “goal” may be defined differently during the many phases of your life, but it is that forward energy that is most important.  This energy drives your ability to gently expand into your fullest self easily and effortlessly. 

 It’s ok that there are periods in your life when you are confused.  In fact, expect it.  But know this is a phase.  As annoying as this truth is, confusion is an opportunity.  Confusion usually stems from some need inside of you not being met whether you are consciously aware of this or not.

 Try journaling or reading about places or people that attract you.  Meditate.  Talk to friends you admire.  Listen to the compliments you are receiving in your life right now.  And most of all – move toward your dreams and goals – no matter what they are. 

 One step, each day.  Read an article.  Make a phone call. Send an email.  Take a class. Create something. 

 When you focus on your goals and desires (even the fleeting ones!), you focus on what you want in life – not a negative, self-defeating idea of what you don’t want.  Your thoughts direct your words and your words create your deeds.  Your deeds are your life. 

 It all begins at the same place – choice.  Free will.  You chose to take that step each day or not.  So, what are your thoughts creating in your life today?  Is it leading to your goals or not?