Sometimes I forget I love Christmas.  Sometimes I get sidetracked by all the stuff, the impending arrival of relatives, the gifts, the ill-will of certain individuals, even myself.  I forget I love Christmas, because on this day so many, many years ago – I know a God that began to live with me.  I know a God that sent his child, really his own self, to live among men – not as a King with riches to spare, but as an “everyman” brought into this world through an unwed mother, poor, but never abandoned. It took me years to understand the significance of this…When we think of God – maybe we think all-powerful, the ultimate “in-control.”  Surely the God of the Old Testament displayed this imagery both positively and negatively.  (Let us not forget rainbows where a sign of God’s never-ending love after he leveled humanity…an earlier version of flowers as a make-up gift I’m thinking.)   The God of the New Testament is the vision I most closely relate to…This is the God that runs arms out-stretched for his prodigal son – aaaghh, this is my God.  A God that knows no limits - that is always available to me if only I would just turn my face to him, to her.   Long ago, in the dark of night, a couple struggled to bring a child into the world.  Joseph did his best, finding shelter where there seemed to be none.  Mary lay her newborn in the only resting space available to her - a manger where animals surely ate from moments before.  Did she know that this was the beginning?  The child she held in her womb so tenderly, even as those around her must have pointed fingers and whispered?  Did she really believe anyone bought her stories of angels? This was the beginning – confusing, slightly scandalize, but a miracle none the less.  If you believe the story, Jesus the son of God, then you know the miracle.  The Jews of Jesus’ day were on the lookout for a savior who was promised to save them.  Of course they were looking for a King in the guise of maybe someone like the powerful King David.  Isn’t that always what we believe – might and bravado will win out?  Some things never change… But, how does the savior come?  Poor, son of an unwed mother, on the margins of society – the last, almost forgotten among us.  Why did he come from the least among us?  I believe he came this way to know us better, to support each of us more.  Haven’t each of us been marginalized, less-then sometime?  Jesus came to be with us, not above us.   This is my God who came to the world, frail and helpless, dependant on the kindness of others.  He came to be loved and maligned.  He came to heal.  He came bearing the name Emanuel - translated “God with us.” He came to live with us, as I believe he still does everyday in so many different ways.  Reminding me always - I too am a beloved child of God.  May you have a very, merry Christmas.   Peace be with you.

The torture of the holidays is upon us once again.  I am always of mixed emotions.  I love the holidays and they drive me crazy.  I think they call that schizophrenia.  I don’t think I am alone in these mixed feelings that may require more than breathing techniques or the cocktail hour to begin at three in the afternoon (its five o’clock somewhere…) 

For me the problem really lay in the weeks before Christmas Day - the packages in the mail.  I don’t know about you but I have some relatives that enjoy engaging in “passive aggressive nuts.”  I like to think of the package arrivals as bombs waiting to explode gross into my house.   

I haven’t figured out what to do with them yet…Every year I have a new tactic - open, not to open, give to goodwill, etc.  There are a few things we can not do – open them with our kids, because unfortunately, these relatives play favorites and one of my children is always receiving “less-than.”  To say that this makes me crazy is - an understatement.  One year we made this mistake and to watch the excluded child to see all the presents but one book go to the other was heartbreaking.   

And of course these bombs of Christmas cheer trigger all kinds of old hurts and unmet desires of Christmases past.  Good times.  Thanks a bunch…can’t wait ‘til next year.  So, what to do? 

I think all you can do – take care of yourself.  Instead of focusing on all those other people in your life, stop and focus on yourself.  Close your eyes.  Are you spinning?  Feel the ground under your feet.  What do you need today?  What can you do today to directly support yourself during this holiday season? 

Ideas:  buy yourself a special Christmas gift, take a bubble bath, meditation, get a massage, read a favorite magazine, call a friend, make cookies, volunteer, go for a walk at night and see all the lights.  What’s your great idea?  

Personally I am going to spend the afternoon wrapping gifts for my kids and husband.  It always makes me happy to wrap presents and make pretty bows.  I even think Mrs. Claus dropped off something special for me too…I think a big, sparkling bow will go on that one.