For some Christmas is about the presents, the meals or maybe seeing old friends and family…but for me, this is Mary’s time.  I adore Mother Mary.  Through her, I have learned to be a better me.  Oh sure, this may sound trite, even a touch phony – but it’s true. 

 I did not always feel this way.  I struggled with Mother Mary for years.  I didn’t understand how she could just stand by and watch Jesus die on the cross.  How could she not throw herself before the soldiers shouting, take me, take me instead?  What kind of mother was she?  I discovered, the best.

 When my own son was hurt I came to know Mary’s heart.  Oh did Mary love her son.  She loved Jesus so much she was able to stand at the cross as he bled and bled, until finally shouting out his last.  Mary believed in Jesus and his own separate purpose. 

 Was it difficult?  Unimaginably painful, just ask any parent of a suffering child.  Some parents can’t stay, some runaway or reject seeing their child in pain.  But many more faithfully stay and look for cures.  Still others find grace when there are no cures.  And if they are looking, each discovers the grace of Mary.

 Mary stayed – at the feasts and sadly, at the cross too.  As far as we know she did not try to sway Jesus from his purpose, she loved him.  She trusted his boyhood days that found him arguing with the rabbis in temple when he should have been in the fields.  Or his many trips to the desert when he would came back ablaze with the divine, overflowing with new ideas.  She trusted Jesus.    

 She also trusted in the unseen divine that sometime requires much…Did she not know herself the cost?  The sting of judgment?  Pregnant and without a husband, forced out.  Mary knew all too well the cost of faith…

 Mary has come to me many times throughout my life.  I am unbelievably blessed to have such intimate moments with her.  The first time I really experienced the presence of Mary as an adult I was overwhelmed.  My first thought was I am not worthy, there are more important people/problems than me.  I felt her outpouring love even more keenly at that moment and the words, “You are my beloved child, nothing is more important” boomed in my mind. 

 Words can not properly express the magnitude of this moment for me.  The best I can say is my life split - before I was alone and after, I was forever held.  Not only did I realize I was held but that everyone was being held by unseen forces at every moment.  I saw ways in my own childhood that Mary’s presence had been there even though I couldn’t see it at the time.

 Here’s the important part – bad things still happened and I am still the beloved child.  I’ve made peace with my past.  Even though there was certainly hardship, I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today without it. 

 Again, may sound trite, easy answer, but it’s true.  Happiness is usually standing right next to you, but only you can truly believe you are worthy to partake in the peace…You’ll have to stop beating yourself up, judging your own failings – real or imagined, you’ll have to allow yourself to come down from your own self-imposed cross into the waiting arms of peace.  She’s just waiting there, loving you just the way you are, patiently waiting for you to come home…

 Merry Christmas