Why are some people happy and others not?  There are certain factors that contribute to one’s ability to be “happy” under most circumstances.  These are a few…

 1.         Flexibility.  The old saying “once you make a plan, God laughs,” has proven true time and time again in my own life.  Being able to adjust to changing life events, even as minor as dinner plans, with flexibility and ease leads directly to happiness.  Why?  Flexibility means forsaking control – willingly.  Quite a feat to be sure, but a gift - only to be received if you are willing to give up control first.    

 2.         Don’t take it personally.  As my father wisely once said, “Some people are just a@@holes.”  You can be assured in your life that your will encounter some real “pains in the bottom”, difficult situations, unfairness, and other assorted crap.  Promise.  And the person sitting next to you, same thing.  The same goes with any other person you meet in your life too.  We are all stumbling through at times.  So, relax, take a breath and imagine what you would like to happen in whatever situation is causing you difficulty.  Focusing on what you want enables you to emerge from any frustration with clarity.

 3.         Humor.  Once you are able to either laugh at yourself or whatever the situation, you bring lightness to your heart.  Laughter feels good.  Watch funny movies, read amusing books, talk to a friend who always makes you laugh, go bowling.  Just by adding more laughter to your life and you will notice, gently a quiet lightness entering your thoughts and being.

 4.         Positive attitude.  I am not suggesting to live like some annoying, over-the-top Polly-Anna, but to live your life on the foundation that, “all is well.”  This isn’t to deny there are problems or tragedies in life, but it does focus on solutions instead of the difficulties.

 5.         Gratitude.  Happy people are reminded each day of their blessings – the good and the difficult.  As much as it drives me nuts, challenges are opportunities.  Opportunities to learn, to grow and most importantly, to know yourself better.  True gratitude is born out of compassion – just as much for yourself as others.

 6.         Confidence.  Not swaggering, but a calm knowing of ones own abilities.  Confidence also means knowing you will stumble on occasion, but the confident person knows not to make a habit of it. 

 7.         Presence.  Happy people live right now, in this moment – not dreaming about yesterday or fantasying about tomorrow.  Here and now - laughing about the things that others might be frustrated by, and knowing all is well… 

 8.         Choice.  All happy people know happiness is a choice.  Some days it’s easier to be happy, while other days may be a bit more of a struggle.  However, knowing that you have the choice to lift yourself up or push yourself down – often leads to better decisions.

 Happiness is not derived from one isolated event, but by attitudes and beliefs.  Gratefully, like choice, each of us has the power to change our attitudes and beliefs with time and attention. 

 Happiness isn’t for someone else, it’s for you.  It is for each one of us to sink deeply into the happiness of this moment, however mundane the pleasures.  May you discover happiness already waits for you, deep within.  

My Birthday is coming up fast and I must say I’m a bit rattled.  I’m surprised by this inner nervousness as I don’t usually notice the number, but this year - I don’t know.  I feel a little older. 

 My skin is not the same.  Dare I say imperfections?  Maybe a wrinkle or two?  What the hell is that on my forehead?  My body isn’t the same.  I actually think I am happier now then at any other point in my life, yet – where’s the hot body?  I realize now my former “skinny, skinny” self was due in large part to anxiety and stress.  I didn’t eat so well then.

 Now, gratefully, I feel calmer inside, but no longer do I have a metabolic rate of a hummingbird.  What to do?  Do I exercise more?  Ugghhh.  I do exercise 4 -5 days week - ½ hour on the elliptical.  It seems pathetic when I write it out now.  Don’t I know the facts?  Your skin sags as you age.  Metabolic rates change.  The outward ego is crashing.  Uhhhggggg.  I don’t know if I’m ready. 

 You would think I was turning 50 years and weighed 250 pounds.  Not likely.  I’ll be thirty-eight and weigh 128.  It’s a dress size that I am fighting.  I would like to be at 124, just seems nice.  I can do it, but do I really want to?  Really?  To actually make the choices – change the chocolate behaviors – to support this?  Or is it just talk?  Or worse?

 Is it a way to keep me down – in my mind, never measuring up to my inner ideal?  Have I always done this in some way, but now I’ve joined so many other American women unsatisfied with self?  What changed? 

 Two kids, ten pounds and years.  Years of life – filled with much joy, some sorrows, a disappointment or two, a couple trips to the abyss, valuable lessons learned, and most of all, choice.  I discovered each day I chose who I want to be and my behaviors reflect this choice for all to see. 

 Gratefully, reflecting on my Birthday reminds me – I am not twenty-five any longer and it’s a good thing.  I wasn’t happy then, but today – today I am.  So I don’t have the same body?  It is what it is.  I chose my response - I’m thinking - toss the scale for my birthday…