I’m not one of those people who has New Year’s Resolutions, but I do have intentions for a better year.  I feel the New Year offers a chance of rebirth, a fresh start, a cleaning away of the old to make way for the new.  Over the years, I’ve developed an exercise for myself and my clients to enhance the process of cleansing from the last year and welcoming a fresh, abundant new year into your life.

I do this exercise once a year, sometimes in January or around my birthday in the springtime.  I don’t think the calendar date matters as much as your own personal desire for a clean slate and a new beginning.

First, write down everything you did not like about last year.  No censoring.  Include all your disappointments.  Difficulties in love.  Financial struggles, fights with family or coworkers.  Concerns with health.  The loss of someone you love.  Ended relationships.  Possibly the loss of a beloved pet.  Moments you let others down, even yourself.  Get everything out.

This may bring you to tears: that’s ok.  Let it out.  By writing these experiences you can release the negative energies that tie you to the past.

Once you have finished, read through the pages.  Upon finishing say out loud, “I am grateful for the lessons I have learned from these experiences.  I now release myself of the past and the pain.”  Then destroy the pages through burning, or the like.  Once the pages are completely gone, say out loud, “I welcome love, joy and abundance into my life today and every day.”

Now write out all the things you did like about this past year.  Things you’ve learned.  New relationships.  Advances in your career.  Family.  Vacations.  Spirituality.  Great books or movies that have stayed with you.  Any experience that brings you profound love for others or yourself.  Acknowledge all the gifts this year has brought into your life.

Again by writing it all out you experience the joy of those moments all over again.  It becomes tangible and more real.  Once you’ve completed the pages, read through them and then say out loud, “I am grateful for the love I have received and freely given.  I am blessed.  Thank you.”  Set the pages aside for later.

The next part is truly my favorite part of this exercise; writing a letter to your self.  The letter is everything you would like to see happen or accomplish this next year.  I divide the letter into seven parts; self, career, financial, relationship with significant other, health, motherhood and spirit.

You can modify the parts to fit your life.  Everything you write down is for your best life.  Think big and stay positive.  Dream the very best year and write it down.  Be specific.  Your thoughts become words, your words become deeds and your deeds build your life.  Let go of the “what ifs” and any fears that come up.

Personally, I have struggled with fear my entire life.  I read somewhere once that, “fears are dragons that keep us from our most precious treasures.”  For me those treasures are love and freedom.  What are your most precious treasures?  What blocks you from those treasures?

Once you have completed the letter and are satisfied with it, take this letter and the pages you set aside previously and put them in an envelope.  Address the letter to yourself, place a stamp on it and put it in the mail.  This is very important: DO NOT SKIP THE POSTAL SYSTEM.  The message must go out into the universe, freeing you to receive your most abundant year ever.  When I get the letter back in the mail, I don’t open it.  I put it in a drawer, knowing my message has been received and the universe is conspiring to make it so.

I have been doing this exercise for several years with great success.  Not everything works out the way I envision.  Sometimes it is even better and sometimes not, but I am always surprised.  This exercise helps you release the negativity and pain of the past year thus not bringing it into the new year.  It also allows you the opportunity to bring the good things of the past into the next year.  Most of all it opens the door to a more abundant life in the New Year.  May it be so.

Everyone, and I do mean everyone, is addicted to something.  It may not seem so on the surface.  Maybe your addiction is deemed acceptable in this society.  (Or at least legal.)  Did you go shopping today?  How many shoes do you have in your closet?  Do you have to be right?  How much caffeine did you have today?  Did you eat that whole bag of chips and not even notice?  Do you starve yourself to be just right?  Do you take pills to sleep?  For aches?  Anxiety?

Addictions come in all shapes and sizes with the same insatiable hunger at the core—seeking relief, comfort, peace.

Many years ago, an astrologer was looking at my birth chart and asked me, “So, what are you addicted to?”  Horrified, I panicked, and replied, “Not me!”  She smiled and told me to calm down.  She explained something about this planet here, basically, there it was in the stars and then she said, “Kelly, this addiction is how you’ve chosen to cope with your grief.  It can be manifested in almost anything.  It takes away the hurt, the anxiety, if only just for a moment.”

There it was, that word—grief.  The disappointments, the “I’m not enoughs,” and I saw my addiction clearly as I tried over and over to block the relentless tide of grief.  The precarious balance I forced myself into over and over when life was really not working, but somehow, by sheer force of will and of course, my fix, I marched on.  I used the same tired tactics and tricks that no longer served me over and over as the void within expanded. Fueling my addiction again and again which each “fix”, hoping to fill that ever-growing emptiness with something, anything.  Hence the term vicious circle.  A place we all know too well.

Does it end?  I don’t think ever.  I think there is always a hunger within each of us to make the hurt go away right now.  Oh sure, we may be granted a period of reprieve but life has a funny way of teaching—we think we have cast out this vice only to have it show up in another form later.

For some reason, we have bought into this concept that we should only be virtuous and pristine casting out all vice and impurity.  Who are these milk toast people?  What would these pious people look like?  Would they all look the same, think the same, most definitely act the same—doing all the right things every moment and I would detest them.

I rack my brain trying to think of one person who could join these “never make a mistake” ranks and nobody comes to mind.  Oh - good people pop in my head and then I think of the mistake, the lesson they learned from not making the “right” choice, going down the wrong path.  Even Jesus initially rejected a mother asking for healing for her child, calling her a “little dog,” as she was not of the “chosen” people, thus not worthy of his good deeds.  He only relented when she beseeched him repeatedly and he finally saw his own folly (Matthew 15:22-28.)  Not the Jesus we like to think of where all are welcome.  He obviously learned something.

It is in these very places of imperfection, the places we fall down, that we can discover our best self.  Our addictions are only outward symptoms of our inner turmoil, our hidden wounds.  What is your addiction?  Does it fill, numb, or adorn you?  How big does it have to get before you look at the stuffed hurts?

Here’s the key, acceptance.  There will always be so-called triggers.  Instead of seeing these triggers as things to be stamped out, I like to think of them as sign posts of the places I still struggle with.  Usually it is the same old crew of “not enoughs” causing problems, and without fail the sooner I acknowledge the hurt, the sooner it gets better.  It’s when I hide from the wounds with addiction that trouble brews and lingers.

I heard this story somewhere about an old shaman answering the question of, are we good or bad?…Within each of us there are two dogs, good and bad.  Always there, forever.  We decide which dog to feed, everyday.

True peace happens by accepting all sides of your personality, the good and the bad, and discovering balance comes with this integration…So, what are you addicted to?

Being successful is no far off place.  It is probably closer then you think, but, at this vantage point in your life it may feel a million miles away.  Ask yourself, do you have the mindset to see the opportunities to your best life?  Being successful is not about always making the “right” move every time, but about maximizing all your moves.

Once you’ve lived past thirty, you can finally get a little perspective on your life.  If you really look at your life, there is a pattern.  Even the mistakes, the “wrong” choices, taught you lessons.  You may not have enjoyed the process, but you can see the benefits in the chaos – the so called “silver lining.”

Sometimes delay is a good thing.  During delays you often acquire more knowledge and experience, laying a foundation for your future success.  However, it is during these delays that I believe people can veer off the path by becoming frustrated in the process.

Whether it’s losing faith in your product, yourself or the old “not enough time”, here are some suggestions that have helped my clients to remain on the path to success and may they support you…

1. Believe in yourself and your product.   This is where it all begins – you.  How is your self-esteem or self-confidence?  If you don’t think well of yourself, no one else will, plain and simple.  Which of course, will transfer to your product and you will miss opportunities.  So how you feel about yourself matters and directly impacts your success.  If this is an issue for you, try saying to yourself five different times a day, “I believe in myself.  Success enters my life easily and effortlessly from all around me.”  It may feel awkward at first, but soon you will notice a calming effect.
2. You deserve success.  How did that feel when you read this?  Any twinges?  If so, this is also an area to examine.  Not only do you need to believe in yourself, but you have to feel worthy of success too – back to you again.  You may try adding, “I deserve and accept a beautiful life,” to your daily mantra above to help support a new, deserving belief in your life.
3.  Have a plan.  It’s all well and good to believe that you deserve success, but what does that mean?  What would success look like to you and what are the steps to get there?  This is a big hurdle for many because it requires putting your words into action.  Just as your thoughts and intensions call new opportunities to you, you must be willing to act upon their arrival.  For example, maybe you want a new job making more money.  There are steps between today and a new job.  Do you know what these are?  Do you need more education?  Have you looked in the paper or online?  Think about what success is to you and then write it out.  Include the steps to achieve the success you desire.  Then each day, do one thing to move you in that direction – read an article, make a phone call, research, whatever, at least one a day.  You will notice your life shifting, easily and effortlessly almost, into a new, more successful direction.
4.  Be flexible.  This may seem a little confusing at first, but it kind of goes to the old saying, “Once you make plans, life happens.”  This is very true fortunately, so stay open.  Let me explain.  Once you shift your belief system to a successful mindset – you attract success.  Things that were blocked before come flying into your life.  This, in turn, disrupts your “plans” –  well, maybe not.  Sometimes, you discover your plans were too small and life has something better in store for you…So stay flexible, be ready to expand into the fullness of life as it unfolds.
5. Use your fears to balance yourself.  Whenever you get really close to success, fear walks in the door, almost its final hurrah.  Fear hides as doubts, anxiety, sleeplessness, certain people, the list goes on and on…but I now see fear as an opportunity.  Fear to me is an indicator of imbalance which means I need support.  Sometimes I can give this to myself through meditation and prayer, but sometimes it means I need to reach out to my husband, friend or a mentor for encouragement and reassurance.  Find  a support system for yourself as you transition to this new life.

Finally, remember patience and courage — the patience to allow yourself the opportunity to transform your life to its fullest potential and the courage to walk and stumble through that transformation.

Years ago a friend whispered, “Courage,” in my ear during a pivotal time in my life.  I can still remember the strength hearing that word vibrated through my body.  Courage, not condescending, “It’ll be ok.  Don’t worry,” but strong and faithful courage.  It actually helped me to be a little more patient too.  So I offer you courage, as you discover your path to a successful, abundant life.

We live in a society of complaint.  Each of us has our own “victim” story that we hold dear, our deep reservoir of excuses of why life is not working out as planned and who or what is to blame.  Without a doubt each of us have been “victims” in certain experiences or events, but no longer are we in those spaces today, yet continually we identify ourselves as “victims” over and over.  What keeps us in a victim state?  An inability to forgive.

Forgiveness, it’s such a tricky thing.  Who does not want to deem themselves to be someone who forgives?  We are taught “forgiveness” is what we “should” do, but do you?  Do you really forgive those who hurt you?  Offend you, maybe even insult you or worse?  And what if those hurts are abhorrent, seemingly above forgiveness?  Do you still forgive?  Yes, but let me explain — forgiveness is not absolution for your perpetrator, but an inward act of healing and grace for yourself.

I believe when you withhold forgiveness you live in the past.  You tie yourself to your victim story, the places you are broken.  We all have broken places, wounds that never quite heal.  In fact, it is in these very wounded places that we can connect to one another in the most profound way, because hurts are a great equalizer in humanity.

Each of us has been to a dark place in our lives, hurt and broken, and so too has the person sitting next to you been to this same dark place.  Our individual wounds may have different names and experiences, but underneath it is the same - pain.  To escape this pain, we blame others, withhold forgiveness and carry on our victim story disempowering our lives at every turn.

I was just about thirty when I discovered I wasn’t a victim.  Yes, of course, there had been terrifying moments of truly being a victim over the years, but I discovered a new philosophy through reading books by Dr Wayne Dyer about “there is a valid reason for everything that happens.”  It is quite a bitter pill to swallow – the concept that you are responsible for everything that has happened in your life.

When I first read this, my reaction was immediate horror – how could I be responsible for any of those horrible experiences?  And then, I looked at my life again and I saw the web.  The complex reality of all these experiences and there impact on my life for better and worse.  I saw the silver linings in the horrific events.

Yes, in certain moments, surely I was a victim, but after that moment in time, it is how I related to that event that I either continued to be a victim or found the courage to transcend.  This is not to deny the anguish or even heartache of these events, but to go beyond the pain to gain new understanding.  The understanding that events and experiences happen, but I am not defined by just that staggering moment.  Instead, I am defined by my courage as I face disappointments, failures, betrayals, and even hurts.

When you transcend and take responsibility for everything that happens in your life, you step into your power.  For me this is when I discovered a deeper connection to Spirit.  I began to understand my soul’s purpose and see the underlining truth – this is my life today, I chose who I want to be every day.  The events and experiences of my past have lead me to this place and I am grateful to finally be able to view past disappointments and hurts to discover courage.  Once you discover the silver lining, it is almost impossible to maintain the resentment to withhold your forgiveness.

Let me be clear, this does not excuse the offense, nor does this mean you need to contact the offender to let them know they are forgiven.  (However, in most cases this would be the goal.)  Truly, forgiveness begins within.  It begins with self.  Can you forgive yourself for your own mistakes, real or imagined?  Forgiveness is no far off place.  It is here, today, waiting for you to step into…Courage.

Several years ago I was introduced to the concept of Chakras.  Balancing Chakras became my tool to “see” into another’s body and discover what was blocking them from their best life.  My clients were amazed at the clarity of information derived from these blocked Chakras.  I soon discovered how much my clients benefited from a basic knowledge of the Chakras system and some simple techniques to clear the blocks themselves.

I work with seven Chakras.  Others believe there are more Chakras (9, 11 and higher,) but for me, (I’m Irish), “7” is about as holy and lucky a number can get.

Your first Chakra is found at your root, your sex center.  This is the foundation of your life and survival, your ancestry, even relating to the house you live in.  The color of this chakra is red.

The second Chakra is found above, two inches below your belly button.  The uterus of a woman.  This is the seat of your creativity and abundance — the birth place of your ideas.  Your career and prosperity is directly connected to the orange, second Chakra.

Just below your rib cage is your third Chakra, related to your self-worth.  This is how you feel about yourself and how you project that self into the world – self-confidence and self-esteem.  Your ego and power are found here.  The color of this Chakra is yellow.

The forth Chakra is above to the right of  your heart.  This is your green Heart Chakra holding the energy of joy, bliss, compassion and love, your feelings.   This is where you begin your quest for inner peace.

At the center of your throat is your fifth Chakra, your truth.  This relates to whether you speak your truth and actually feel heard.  Light blue, topaz is the color of the throat chakra.  Many people suppress rage and tears in their neck and jaws causing great pain throughout their lives.

Almost all of us have heard of your third eye, your sixth Chakra, intuition and wisdom.  Your third eye rests between your eyebrows.  This concerns listening to your inner voice for guidance and achieving enlightenment.  Sapphire blue radiates from your third eye.

Finally your seventh Chakra, your crown is found just above your head.  This is your connection to the Universe, Spirit.  The color ranges from lavender to white in the Crown Chakra.

That is the basics of the seven Chakras.  Now try this game with yourself, scan your body –  Are there any pains or shadows?  Does your stomach hurt?  Do you have a sore throat?  Headaches?  These pains could be an indicator of a block.  Ok, now review the placement of the Chakras on the body and read the descriptions.

For example, so many people have stomach aches.  Look at all the products on the market with sure cures.  The third Chakra is found in your stomach – self-esteem and self-confidence.  Who hasn’t heard the expression “getting butterflies” before speaking or an event?  Ringing any bells?

Review your body again and if you discover the problem — how to fix it?  Try this exercise:  Let’s use the yellow third Chakra, found right below your rib cage.  Take a deep breathe in and as you exhale, blow out through your third Chakra.  Pushing yellow light out of your body, clearing all the blocks from your third Chakra with your breathe.  Repeat two more times.

Notice how you feel — slightly calmed inside.  Your breath relaxes.  All is well…You may use this technique with any of the Chakras and just change the color of the light associated to the specific Chakra as needed.

Working with Chakras is just one of the many ways to connect to the guidance of our bodies.  As you read and listen to the messages, you become empowered to create your best life every day.

Meditation sounds so evolved, so Eastern philosophy, “way out there.”  But I’ll tell you a secret; it works.  Through meditation, I am able to bring into my life today that which I seek, be it peace or abundance.

This isn’t a new concept.  Oprah has been talking about “The Secret” all year.  By focusing your thoughts on a specific issue or desire, you bring it into your life.  For me, it is during meditation I am able to manifest my best self and bring that force into my life today.

Years ago, when someone first suggested meditation to me, it seemed too hard.  How could I possibly focus on one thing and be quiet?  I imagined myself sitting in a room with a flickering candle, soft new age music in the background and smiling like a lunatic.   Are you kidding me?  Not likely. However, the concept achieving a quiet mind through meditation was still very attractive to me as I struggled constantly with a busy, worrying mind.    Then I found guided meditation.

Guided meditation differs from other meditation practices, because you are verbally led throughout the experience.  The “experience” being at the core for me as I can finally be free of my incessantly thinking mind by concentrating on the unfolding meditation.  I become part of the true present and this is where I find my quiet mind.  It is within this quiet place I find healing and am able to create a beautiful life.

That’s why I began using meditation with my clients.  Early on in my private practice I discovered at the end of the sessions, my clients were in a balanced and receptive state for positive change in their lives.  I began using short guided meditations at the end of sessions to ground positive change into their bodies and open their lives to the abundance that always surrounds us.

Quickly, my clients and I noticed how effective this process had become.  It is through meditation that each of us can connect with our deepest desires and needs.  The more you stay in touch with these needs or desires, the quicker they can manifest in your life.  You become your highest self and begin living your best life every day.

What’s all this talk about “manifesting abundance and prosperity” and why, you may ask, is it not in your life today? The answer is simple. You haven’t found the path to allow abundance into your life. Maybe you have certain negative beliefs about money, maybe you don’t think you deserve it, or maybe you just haven’t thought you could manifest abundance into your life today. Well, you do deserve an abundant, beautiful life and you can manifest that life into reality with meditation.

As you grow up, you acquire belief systems through your experiences and the modeled behavior of the adults around you. Since many of us come from dysfunctional homes, it is quite possible that you have created certain belief systems or habits of thinking that bind you in unhealthy life patterns. You are always broke. Nothing ever works out. As a child, you needed these beliefs systems to explain and survive the world you were in, but now, you are no longer a child.

Now these “survival beliefs” are in fact sabotaging your life. You are not a very good partner in life if you have an underlining belief that, “Nothing ever works out.” Guess what? You will prove your self right time and again as nothing works out.

Try this exercise; think about all the things you want, that you don’t have right now. Love? Prosperity? New house? New car? Money? Anything…now, notice how you feel inside. You are feeling the lack, the cold empty spaces that begin to make you feel smaller and smaller. Isolated and trapped in your own unhappy experience of “Not enough,” as the list of all your unsatisfied wants increases.

Now imagine that you have in your life today, that which you seek. Say to yourself, “Abundance flows into my life easily and effortlessly. All my needs and wants are met today.” Take a breath and feel quiet peace relax your body. Balance returns. Notice where you feel this in your body. Warmth expands from the inside making you feel larger, more connected to today.

As you work with guided meditation, new beliefs begin taking the place of self-defeating thought patterns and you become more connected to your own thoughts. Instead of sabotaging your experiences with old beliefs, you actually become more present in your life. You are in charge of your thoughts, instead of your thoughts being in charge of you.

Finally, you will be empowered to make the best choices in your life for you, instead of reacting to the choices made by others. Through meditation you can become your highest self and manifest your best life into reality. As the saying goes, where your mind goes – your thoughts expand. Expand into your most abundant life