How do you mend a broken heart?  How does it get broken?  Is it in one event?  Or are there dozens of offenses before the crack?  Oh, I wish I knew.  For me, it happens over time, dozens of offenses forcing me to dodge and weave hoping to keep my balance.  Some days I can, and some I can’t. In my early twenties, I dated a man, really a boy, who I adored.  It was an incredibly, passionate relationship.  I discovered passion is a slippery thing, it goes both ways.  The intensity you love is equal to the intensity you hate.  My, my does can that lead to interesting times…We stayed together six years. Our break-up was a pitiful good-bye, lasting a year of push and pull.  The end did not result from a lack of love; it ended because of all the hurts.  The wounds left to fester and grow.  He was an alcoholic.  I suspect he still is. I grew up with a father who drank too much and a mother who yelled too much.  My old boyfriend was like home.  I loved and hated home as I loved and hated him.  I’m sure I even became the woman who yelled too often, much to my disgust. I remember after he left, laying in bed, weeping for hours - hurting so deeply from the inside.  I would take deep breaths in all the time because I felt like I couldn’t breathe — never enough air, never any relief.   Over and over, in my mind I would repeat this poem my mother once said to me, “I told my soul to be still and wait. Without love, For I know not what to love. Without hope, For I know not what to hope for. But in the waiting, there is faith.  There is love, hope and faith in the waiting.  I told my soul to be still and wait.”  If I said it enough times, finally a peace would descend.   Comforting me, even if it lasted only a little while. Today I know that comfort was God.  I was ceaselessly praying with my poem.  As I lay in my bed at night, I would imagine myself held in the palm of God’s hand.  I started going to church.  It was when I gave up, that my heart began to mend. I can’t say it happened over night.  It was a process and time was a huge part of it.  I can’t even say it won’t happen again.  But what I can say is, I have faith.  There is love, hope and faith in the waiting.  In that space, God waits for me.  I am held there and gently reminded “courage.”  I told my soul to be still and wait.

Being successful is no far off place.  It is probably closer then you think, but, at this vantage point in your life it may feel a million miles away.  Ask yourself, do you have the mindset to see the opportunities to your best life?  Being successful is not about always making the “right” move every time, but about maximizing all your moves.

Once you’ve lived past thirty, you can finally get a little perspective on your life.  If you really look at your life, there is a pattern.  Even the mistakes, the “wrong” choices, taught you lessons.  You may not have enjoyed the process, but you can see the benefits in the chaos – the so called “silver lining.”

Sometimes delay is a good thing.  During delays you often acquire more knowledge and experience, laying a foundation for your future success.  However, it is during these delays that I believe people can veer off the path by becoming frustrated in the process.

Whether it’s losing faith in your product, yourself or the old “not enough time”, here are some suggestions that have helped my clients to remain on the path to success and may they support you…

1. Believe in yourself and your product.   This is where it all begins – you.  How is your self-esteem or self-confidence?  If you don’t think well of yourself, no one else will, plain and simple.  Which of course, will transfer to your product and you will miss opportunities.  So how you feel about yourself matters and directly impacts your success.  If this is an issue for you, try saying to yourself five different times a day, “I believe in myself.  Success enters my life easily and effortlessly from all around me.”  It may feel awkward at first, but soon you will notice a calming effect.
2. You deserve success.  How did that feel when you read this?  Any twinges?  If so, this is also an area to examine.  Not only do you need to believe in yourself, but you have to feel worthy of success too – back to you again.  You may try adding, “I deserve and accept a beautiful life,” to your daily mantra above to help support a new, deserving belief in your life.
3.  Have a plan.  It’s all well and good to believe that you deserve success, but what does that mean?  What would success look like to you and what are the steps to get there?  This is a big hurdle for many because it requires putting your words into action.  Just as your thoughts and intensions call new opportunities to you, you must be willing to act upon their arrival.  For example, maybe you want a new job making more money.  There are steps between today and a new job.  Do you know what these are?  Do you need more education?  Have you looked in the paper or online?  Think about what success is to you and then write it out.  Include the steps to achieve the success you desire.  Then each day, do one thing to move you in that direction – read an article, make a phone call, research, whatever, at least one a day.  You will notice your life shifting, easily and effortlessly almost, into a new, more successful direction.
4.  Be flexible.  This may seem a little confusing at first, but it kind of goes to the old saying, “Once you make plans, life happens.”  This is very true fortunately, so stay open.  Let me explain.  Once you shift your belief system to a successful mindset – you attract success.  Things that were blocked before come flying into your life.  This, in turn, disrupts your “plans” –  well, maybe not.  Sometimes, you discover your plans were too small and life has something better in store for you…So stay flexible, be ready to expand into the fullness of life as it unfolds.
5. Use your fears to balance yourself.  Whenever you get really close to success, fear walks in the door, almost its final hurrah.  Fear hides as doubts, anxiety, sleeplessness, certain people, the list goes on and on…but I now see fear as an opportunity.  Fear to me is an indicator of imbalance which means I need support.  Sometimes I can give this to myself through meditation and prayer, but sometimes it means I need to reach out to my husband, friend or a mentor for encouragement and reassurance.  Find  a support system for yourself as you transition to this new life.

Finally, remember patience and courage — the patience to allow yourself the opportunity to transform your life to its fullest potential and the courage to walk and stumble through that transformation.

Years ago a friend whispered, “Courage,” in my ear during a pivotal time in my life.  I can still remember the strength hearing that word vibrated through my body.  Courage, not condescending, “It’ll be ok.  Don’t worry,” but strong and faithful courage.  It actually helped me to be a little more patient too.  So I offer you courage, as you discover your path to a successful, abundant life.

We live in a society of complaint.  Each of us has our own “victim” story that we hold dear, our deep reservoir of excuses of why life is not working out as planned and who or what is to blame.  Without a doubt each of us have been “victims” in certain experiences or events, but no longer are we in those spaces today, yet continually we identify ourselves as “victims” over and over.  What keeps us in a victim state?  An inability to forgive.

Forgiveness, it’s such a tricky thing.  Who does not want to deem themselves to be someone who forgives?  We are taught “forgiveness” is what we “should” do, but do you?  Do you really forgive those who hurt you?  Offend you, maybe even insult you or worse?  And what if those hurts are abhorrent, seemingly above forgiveness?  Do you still forgive?  Yes, but let me explain — forgiveness is not absolution for your perpetrator, but an inward act of healing and grace for yourself.

I believe when you withhold forgiveness you live in the past.  You tie yourself to your victim story, the places you are broken.  We all have broken places, wounds that never quite heal.  In fact, it is in these very wounded places that we can connect to one another in the most profound way, because hurts are a great equalizer in humanity.

Each of us has been to a dark place in our lives, hurt and broken, and so too has the person sitting next to you been to this same dark place.  Our individual wounds may have different names and experiences, but underneath it is the same - pain.  To escape this pain, we blame others, withhold forgiveness and carry on our victim story disempowering our lives at every turn.

I was just about thirty when I discovered I wasn’t a victim.  Yes, of course, there had been terrifying moments of truly being a victim over the years, but I discovered a new philosophy through reading books by Dr Wayne Dyer about “there is a valid reason for everything that happens.”  It is quite a bitter pill to swallow – the concept that you are responsible for everything that has happened in your life.

When I first read this, my reaction was immediate horror – how could I be responsible for any of those horrible experiences?  And then, I looked at my life again and I saw the web.  The complex reality of all these experiences and there impact on my life for better and worse.  I saw the silver linings in the horrific events.

Yes, in certain moments, surely I was a victim, but after that moment in time, it is how I related to that event that I either continued to be a victim or found the courage to transcend.  This is not to deny the anguish or even heartache of these events, but to go beyond the pain to gain new understanding.  The understanding that events and experiences happen, but I am not defined by just that staggering moment.  Instead, I am defined by my courage as I face disappointments, failures, betrayals, and even hurts.

When you transcend and take responsibility for everything that happens in your life, you step into your power.  For me this is when I discovered a deeper connection to Spirit.  I began to understand my soul’s purpose and see the underlining truth – this is my life today, I chose who I want to be every day.  The events and experiences of my past have lead me to this place and I am grateful to finally be able to view past disappointments and hurts to discover courage.  Once you discover the silver lining, it is almost impossible to maintain the resentment to withhold your forgiveness.

Let me be clear, this does not excuse the offense, nor does this mean you need to contact the offender to let them know they are forgiven.  (However, in most cases this would be the goal.)  Truly, forgiveness begins within.  It begins with self.  Can you forgive yourself for your own mistakes, real or imagined?  Forgiveness is no far off place.  It is here, today, waiting for you to step into…Courage.

Several years ago I was introduced to the concept of Chakras.  Balancing Chakras became my tool to “see” into another’s body and discover what was blocking them from their best life.  My clients were amazed at the clarity of information derived from these blocked Chakras.  I soon discovered how much my clients benefited from a basic knowledge of the Chakras system and some simple techniques to clear the blocks themselves.

I work with seven Chakras.  Others believe there are more Chakras (9, 11 and higher,) but for me, (I’m Irish), “7” is about as holy and lucky a number can get.

Your first Chakra is found at your root, your sex center.  This is the foundation of your life and survival, your ancestry, even relating to the house you live in.  The color of this chakra is red.

The second Chakra is found above, two inches below your belly button.  The uterus of a woman.  This is the seat of your creativity and abundance — the birth place of your ideas.  Your career and prosperity is directly connected to the orange, second Chakra.

Just below your rib cage is your third Chakra, related to your self-worth.  This is how you feel about yourself and how you project that self into the world – self-confidence and self-esteem.  Your ego and power are found here.  The color of this Chakra is yellow.

The forth Chakra is above to the right of  your heart.  This is your green Heart Chakra holding the energy of joy, bliss, compassion and love, your feelings.   This is where you begin your quest for inner peace.

At the center of your throat is your fifth Chakra, your truth.  This relates to whether you speak your truth and actually feel heard.  Light blue, topaz is the color of the throat chakra.  Many people suppress rage and tears in their neck and jaws causing great pain throughout their lives.

Almost all of us have heard of your third eye, your sixth Chakra, intuition and wisdom.  Your third eye rests between your eyebrows.  This concerns listening to your inner voice for guidance and achieving enlightenment.  Sapphire blue radiates from your third eye.

Finally your seventh Chakra, your crown is found just above your head.  This is your connection to the Universe, Spirit.  The color ranges from lavender to white in the Crown Chakra.

That is the basics of the seven Chakras.  Now try this game with yourself, scan your body –  Are there any pains or shadows?  Does your stomach hurt?  Do you have a sore throat?  Headaches?  These pains could be an indicator of a block.  Ok, now review the placement of the Chakras on the body and read the descriptions.

For example, so many people have stomach aches.  Look at all the products on the market with sure cures.  The third Chakra is found in your stomach – self-esteem and self-confidence.  Who hasn’t heard the expression “getting butterflies” before speaking or an event?  Ringing any bells?

Review your body again and if you discover the problem — how to fix it?  Try this exercise:  Let’s use the yellow third Chakra, found right below your rib cage.  Take a deep breathe in and as you exhale, blow out through your third Chakra.  Pushing yellow light out of your body, clearing all the blocks from your third Chakra with your breathe.  Repeat two more times.

Notice how you feel — slightly calmed inside.  Your breath relaxes.  All is well…You may use this technique with any of the Chakras and just change the color of the light associated to the specific Chakra as needed.

Working with Chakras is just one of the many ways to connect to the guidance of our bodies.  As you read and listen to the messages, you become empowered to create your best life every day.

Meditation sounds so evolved, so Eastern philosophy, “way out there.”  But I’ll tell you a secret; it works.  Through meditation, I am able to bring into my life today that which I seek, be it peace or abundance.

This isn’t a new concept.  Oprah has been talking about “The Secret” all year.  By focusing your thoughts on a specific issue or desire, you bring it into your life.  For me, it is during meditation I am able to manifest my best self and bring that force into my life today.

Years ago, when someone first suggested meditation to me, it seemed too hard.  How could I possibly focus on one thing and be quiet?  I imagined myself sitting in a room with a flickering candle, soft new age music in the background and smiling like a lunatic.   Are you kidding me?  Not likely. However, the concept achieving a quiet mind through meditation was still very attractive to me as I struggled constantly with a busy, worrying mind.    Then I found guided meditation.

Guided meditation differs from other meditation practices, because you are verbally led throughout the experience.  The “experience” being at the core for me as I can finally be free of my incessantly thinking mind by concentrating on the unfolding meditation.  I become part of the true present and this is where I find my quiet mind.  It is within this quiet place I find healing and am able to create a beautiful life.

That’s why I began using meditation with my clients.  Early on in my private practice I discovered at the end of the sessions, my clients were in a balanced and receptive state for positive change in their lives.  I began using short guided meditations at the end of sessions to ground positive change into their bodies and open their lives to the abundance that always surrounds us.

Quickly, my clients and I noticed how effective this process had become.  It is through meditation that each of us can connect with our deepest desires and needs.  The more you stay in touch with these needs or desires, the quicker they can manifest in your life.  You become your highest self and begin living your best life every day.