“What?  I am not shutting down because that would mean I’m getting old…”  The horror.  I sat in my acupuncturist office slightly stunned…We were discussing sex and how at 39 years old, my sex drive is ever increasing. 

My friends and I (all late thirties/early forties) recently were discussing how much our sex drive has changed.  For those of us having sex with our partners (half were not, but that is another tail…) – the two weeks before ovulation are, shall we say, game on, while the following two weeks are, well, not.  I joke that my body is just trying to get one more baby in – a mantra of “must procreate” vibrates throughout causing amusing results.

 First off, in those first weeks in the cycle, I attract lots of men – this has got me believing in pheromones.  They must smell/hear my ovaries message of, sex, sex, sex.  When I was in Vegas last, my friend and I happened to be in that first part of our cycles at the same time.  I had just told her of my theory when two drinks were delivered from the gentlemen at the end of the bar…we just about fell out of our chairs laughing, along with spilling the drinks…

 …back to the doctor’s office, sitting stunned – “I’m shutting down?”…Yes, in a sense I got that with the ovaries shouting – just one more! But I avoid the shutting down part because that might imply I was aging and that can not be???  Why I feel 29/30 years old? 

 And suddenly I was laughing inside, this monthly curse, which I have almost dreaded my whole life, whether through inconvenience or interference, has now become precious.  (Hearing a chuckling God inside, reminding me to be humble at every turn.) 

Ughhh, wow, life is a kick, just when you get it all figured out – flip.  What was dreaded once now becomes a friend and life, here and now, becomes just a little more precious…

Before I had children I swore I would never have a baby with a snotty face…then I came face to face teething.  Teething, wailing resistance and snot won.  It was the beginning of my understanding that I knew less.  Those damn baby books didn’t in fact know everything. 

 The difficult part of this discovery was – there wasn’t a manual.  I realized I would be always be ‘slightly bumbling through’ – adjusting as we go.  Happily, I like it.  Being a mom has been a great opportunity to learn flexibility.  Some days I am better at it then others.  So it goes…but motherhood has informed my life and my heart in ways I never imagined.  Happy Mother’s Day to you.