Valentine’s Day – Not my favorite holiday.  It’s seems to be a completely manufactured holiday by Hallmark and the florists, but still it is there on the calendar each year.   If you are alone – well, this holiday can really magnify that reality in sometimes frightening questions.  (Don’t you have a Valentine?  Why am I alone?  What’s wrong with me?)   STOP!  Take a breath – it’s 24 hours – pull yourself together and give these tips a try…

 1.  Reality check – this day shall pass.  Gratefully the day falls on a Sunday this year, so if you work in an office, school or the like – you do not have to witness the relentless parade of delivered flowers and chocolates.  Mantra – this day shall pass (and if need be – think how chocolate goes straight to the hips…)

2.  Turn on the tunes and dance – clothes optional.  Pick out the silliest, most danceable music and play loudly.  As you are busting a move and are grinning like an idiot, you may just start enjoying yourself. It’s hard to be too sad as you are shakin’ your bootie.  Suggestions: Black Eyed Peas, Michael Jackson, ABBA and the bad boy, Kanye West

3.  Make a plan.  Maybe you want to stay under the covers all day, but I encourage you to get together with friends and do something fun.  Go bowling or ice skating – do anything completely out of your norm.  This will take your focus off whatever negative spiral you may be slipping into and distract you from “poor me” thinking. And who knows who is ice skating today…

4.  Humor – if you are in a pitiful state, try to find just a little humor.  Watch silly movies, call friends who make you laugh.  Try anything that can get you giggling as it will help you move through your emotions.

5.  Go outside.  Take a walk or go for a drive if it is too cold, but get out of the four-walls closing in!  A change of scenery will allow you to stop the incessant thinking of, “What did I do wrong?  Why me?  Will I ever be happy again?”  I promise you will feel better and be happy again (you were before, so why not?)

6.  Big girls/boys do cry.  It’s ok to be sad.  The tears do eventually dry up.  Just remember your tears are a wave, maybe of the tsunami variety, but a wave – you are the vast ocean.  Waves pass and the ocean remains.  You remain.

7.  Get a new haircut, outfit and/or bedding.  Have you ever noticed how many people look better a few months after a break-up?  This is the upside of the break-up diet, i.e. can’t eat due to depression and sleeplessness.  As the song goes – wash that man (woman) out of your hair…and your bed too.

8.  Buy yourself something special the day before, if you like flowers and chocolate – go for it.  Whether you’re heart-broken or attached – don’t wait for someone else to tell you, “I love you, I value you.”  Do it yourself – anything else that comes your way is gravy.   

 *Remember this is one day – 24 hours – this too shall pass…Happy bowling – don’t forget your socks!  

Today I invite you to stop complaining.  When I turn on the TV or radio, I hear the suffering of thousands in Haiti.  These people who had literally nothing have even less today.  It is heart-breaking as well as stunningly unfair.  You may wonder, where can God be?

 He is there, has been there all along with the least among us.  He has been working through the hands of aid workers and UN peacekeepers, but the need is so great. 

 Later in the day yesterday I heard someone complain about driving in the snow, and another ringing with work stress…I thought – what luxury.  We have the luxury of complaint – finding problems where often there is none.  We have the luxury to worry about everything because our basic needs are met.  We have shelter, food and education, we are blessed by the country we were born into…

 Thus today, try not to complain.  Just focus on the blessing of where you are…There is food, clean water, available doctors, shelter, so much more than our brothers and sisters in Haiti, not to mention much of the rest of the world. 

 If you are reading this – you are blessed.  You may feel lost, alone.  You may even be suffering and you are still blessed. 

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