I think we grow in fits and starts – always - from infant to crone.  I guess I did not expect this when I was a child.  I assumed at a certain age we just knew it all.  I’m sure I have reached whatever this allusive certain age is, yet I know less.  My certain and absolute truths have been turned on there head recently and far from being frightened - I like it.

 Suddenly the rules don’t apply.  What I thought I knew about myself no longer applies.  As a friend suggested last night, “The ego has been blown to bits.  There is a whole new paradigm afoot.”  The most intriguing aspect of this shift is how effortlessly it happened – within a breath, a glance reality alters forever…A new ache is born that can not be denied, an awakening of self.  Pandora’s box has been undone. 

Hoffman again creates moving, real characters engaged in the messy business of life.  The book revolves around the Moody family and of course, the name fits.  This is an unhealthy, struggling family – secrets, affairs and drugs abound, but also truth. 

 What happens when fathers ignore their children?  Is this a choice or is it a left over wound?  Born of your own longing for a life not lived…And better yet, where is grace found?  Can the unforgivable find forgiveness?  As always, yes, grace can find you in the strangest of places.    

 Be fairly warned though, I would not read this book if you are looking for something “happy, feel-good.”  However, the characters and the rawness of their experience stay with you in a good way.  In my own life, it has taken me years to discover – in every experience - I can only see in-part.  It takes many different voices to see all and even then it may take years. 

 For peace is only found when you choose to be peaceful.  It’s an annoying truth that you and only you, can transform your life from one of pain to peace.  It sounds almost too easy, possibly condescending, but blaming your past for where you are today only binds you to a broken place that could be, if you choose, to be left behind. 

On Sunday, we head to Switzerland for six days.  Three months ago I was not even thinking about Switzerland and that is what I love most about life.  Surprises and unexpected events drop into your life when you least expect it. 

 Every day I expect good things to fall into my life – I met my husband on a blind date and I’m a lucky person.  Good things happen to me all the time - from hotel room upgrades to winning in Vegas to front-row parking to helpful strangers when needed.  The questions is – am I just ‘lucky’ or do I attract good things because I expect them?  I say both – sort of.

 I’ve always been lucky, even as a child, but luck is also a point of view.  For when so-called ‘bad things happen’, I often use humor to discover the gift instead of focusing on the bad.  Humor is a very helpful tool to shift from the negative to positive – laughter lightens all.  Like anything, whatever you focus on expands, either positively or negatively.  If you consider yourself lucky, even blessed, guess what?  Life shows up to validate this over and over.

 So I am off to explore a new country, and I am expecting good things and wonderful opportunities to unfold…are you? 

Sure, at first glance it would seem these two women have very little in common, but let’s ponder this idea: both were too young when one afternoon their lives changed forever; both were strong & independent; and both were fiercely loyal. 

 Scarlett was my first hero.  I read Gone With the Wind probably six times before I was eighteen.  I loved that Scarlett was tough as nails all while looking good and batting her eyelashes.  I instantly connected to her love of the land - her red earth…Obviously the Irish thing was a huge pull, but I loved that Scarlett grew-up too.  Her heart and its wantings changed with time and age, from men to friendships. 

 Like Scarlett, I didn’t appreciate the value of female friendships until after I had had children – women were always competition before. Take Melanie - she was no simpering fool although she often appeared helpless due to her ill health, but time and time again she supported Scarlett when no other would.  Whereas Ashley appeared to be noble and forthright, but really he was an anchor to the past instead of the rock Scarlett first perceived him to be.  Melanie was the rock…and Scarlett.

 Scarlett would do anything, say anything to protect her beloved Tara and what was hers.  Of course there were costs in this.  Things were sticky – as she saved Tara and gave her family a home, she stole her sister’s fiancée, all while penniless and gorgeous in her new green, velvet dress, a.k.a. the parlor drapes.  How could you not love her???

 Mother Mary wasn’t so easy for me to attach to initially.  First off – the story of a virgin birth, can we say tramp?  Cover-up?  It took me years to allow the possibility of this story, the leap of faith.  I had to come to understand the teachings and environment of these stories.  I discovered there was much more space in the details of the events. 

 As you may know Jesus was a Jew and his story was originally told by spoken word through his disciples – something akin to a Rabbi.  Well, one forgets that the Rabbi told stories and allegories to teach their followers – the details were shifted a bit to keep the story interesting and connect to audience they spoke before.  They were, in many cases, the entertainment of the day.

 For example, Jesus was forever going off for 40 days – to the desert, in isolation, whatever, but did he go off for forty days?  Back then, when someone said, “forty days,” it just meant a long time.  The audience then knew this; however it is us, the exact interpreters that need things to be black and white.  This taught me about flexible thinking…but I digress, back to Mary. 

 Mary has always challenged me not only by the virgin birth, but also, how could she just stand there during the crucifixion of Jesus?  How could she not shout out, “Stop, stop, take me.  Take me, please, please, take me…”  What kind of mother was she???

 It took me years to discover she was exactly the kind of mother I strive to be everyday.  She supported her son and the decisions he made for his life because she trusted him…and God.  This was Jesus’ life and she stood by, faithfully until the end. 

 How could she deny the truth of what Jesus predicted to unfold?  Hadn’t she also heard Gabriel announce her own difficult path?  How many called her a tramp as she walked by? Perhaps her village shunned her…but she accepted her path and held fast to her own truth.  How could her child do less when so called?  And again, where else would Mary be, but at Jesus’ feet as he shouted out his last? 

 I believe, Mary knew the glory to be on the other side for Jesus.  You see, Mary knew magic and miracles every day – every time she saw Jesus’ smile she was reminded how real they truly are…

 There you have it - Scarlett and Mary, two heroines of tales gone by guide me each day to a brand new tomorrow, where possibilities unfold and magic is surely lurking just beyond…

 Who are your heroes??? 

Recently I have been contacted by many previous clients that are “so close” to the change they seek – be it a new job, a move, a letting go, peace, whatever the transformation – so close…What to do when you are so close?

 May you discover the delays were gifts and the transformation is richer for it…

I have very mixed feelings about this book.  99% of the book I enjoyed thoroughly – exciting plot, interesting characters, the flavor of a different culture…but unfortunately the hated 1% is the ending – which sucked.  It was as if Ms. Kazan just decided, “I’m bored with this, new project please.”   

Suddenly the plot halts and there is an epilogue providing scant details of each character’s end days.  What?  Who married who?  What?  The child?  Are you kidding me? 

 The problem with bad ending to me is I have invested time, energy and my emotions in these pages, come on I deserve a little closure!  I bet she would break up by text message…

 Thus I can not recommend this book, however good, because I am still annoyed by how crappy the ending was…If you are so blessed not to get hung up on endings – have at it and sink into the Ottoman Empire - intrigue, murder, politics and sex abound…

This is the full of summer, this is all
The bumblebee has ever dreamed about;
This is my rise that has no fall;
This is my in that has no out.
And this my body’s happiness, the call
Of clover scented in the swaying air
The bumblebee has ever dreamed about.
This is the full of summer, this is all
Bold blossoming and blazing everywhere,
The hummingbird suspended at the rose
With no thought of your leaving in my mind.
This is my opening that has no close,
This is my now with nothing left behind,
No thought of winter thinking can’t forestall;
This is the full of summer, this is all.

Just discovered this LA band, The Airborne Toxic Event and I love them.  The sound is raw, plaintive, punk-like, and incredibly personal – think a cross between Violent Femmes and Crash Test Dummies.

 The album was written while lead singer Mikel Jollett was struggling with heartbreak, his mother’s cancer and his own health problems…Needless to say the album is full of raw emotions and surprisingly – humor. 

 In “Does This Mean You’re Moving On?” with the lines like, “Oh Christ, she’s not alone…” and “I’ll bet your friends all hate me now.  I get the strangest looks from that bitchy crowd…guess I am not quite over you.” – let the giggling begin.  Or in “Something New” - a priceless appreciation of hoping the fighting will stop and the therapy works…If you have been in therapy with your mate, well this is a riot.  Set to a hopeful, happy beat – the couple is falling apart…

 Another wonderful quality of the music is the shifting and building tempos of the different songs, such as in “Sometime Around Midnight.”  The song opens quietly, building softly by adding instruments and strengthening his voice with each bar until you hear his anguish refrain, “You just have to see her,”  over and over.  Who hasn’t been to this broken place?  

Must listen to: Gasoline, Does this Mean Your Moving On?, Sometime Around Midnight, Something New, Missy

8 Simple step to living more abundantly today.

Many people speak of dreams as fanciful things like fairies and charmed rings and lands of enchantment.  Others only believe in faraway dreams such as stars or sea castles with elf-like inhabitants.  There are day-dreamers and night-dreamers who dream up make-believe places.  They use much imagination, and in that are dream-gifted…But the serious dreamers are those who catch dreams and bring them to life, to show that when they were dreaming, they meant it… What kind of dreamer are you?