Here are just a few tips to make this summer fantastic…
1.Picnic and concert/play.I began going to outside plays and concerts when I was a kid with my Mom.I try to go at least once a summer now.Big blanket, yummy food, setting sun and art – could there be anything better?
2.Beach.Whether you go to the ocean, a lake or even a stream – get to a beach.I don’t care how old you are – take your shoes off and dig your toes in the sand and suddenly you are a kid again.If you really want to feel good, build a sand castle and feel the years slip away as you play…
3.Book.Reading is a way to travel and explore without leaving the comfort of your hammock.If you are looking for an excellent to read this summer – check out my book reviews where you can find anything from hysterically funny (Me talk Pretty One Day) to self-help (The Power of Intention) to lyrical (The God of Small Things.)
4.A garden.Ok, it could just be a small pot with some pansies or a massive vegetable garden, but grow something.Digging in the dirt is calming your nerves and your soul.And best of all – it’s addictive…I check on all my flowers every morning just to see who has bloomed today and this year, I am even going to grow lettuce on our deck – my own economic recession garden…
5.Camping.Try going camping for a night and don’t forget the smores fixings!A camp fire is good for anyone’s soul and if you are a newbie at camping or haven’t been for a very long time – you are guaranteed to create memories that last…Just setting up the tent can afford opportunities to laugh for hours…
6.Forgive.Learn to forgive someone this summer – make up with a friend or family member that you feel estranged.Guess what?They feel just as crappy about having you missing from their life as you feel having them out of yours.So send a funny card, make a phone call or even send an email – almost everyone longs to be forgiven and bought whole again.Make it happen for you and maybe you will now have someone to camping with…
7.Summer Music.I listen to IZ during the summer or any time I want to feel like I am on vacation.If you haven’t started already, begin listening to “happy” music – anything that makes you feel light inside.Reggae is always a happy choice.
8.Go skinny-dipping.Nothing says summertime more then skinny-dipping.Find a secluded spot and jump in – your body will thank you by feeling completely and joyfully alive.
9.Pot Lucks.I love getting together with friends, but can’t afford to throw as many parties as I would like – answer: pot lucks!Everyone bring something and the party has begun with little financial investment from you.Best of all – your guests will love it.Instead of bringing a hostess gift, they can skip the flowers and bring something they like.Everyone’s happy.
10.Fall in love.Falling in love is not just reserved for singles, I have been married almost ten years and joyfully I fall in love with my husband over and over…Maybe as we have a picnic or lay in the hammock entwined and reading or dig our toes in the sand or even, when we forgive each other our imperfections and enjoy the beautiful life we have created together…
May these tips spark your own heart and help you to create a wonderful summer ahead.Enjoy!
Recently a client asked, “How do you create a sacred space for meditation and quiet.”These are some tips to create your own sacred space be it an entire room or a small shelf.
I like to think of sacred spaces as being attached to your senses…
1.Visual - Color.Colors trigger emotional responses from the inside.Think of it, seeing “red” when you are angry or feeling “blue” when you are sad.Try painting the sacred space or even the shelf, a calming color to help “queue” your internal response to “relax.”My office is painted a gorgeous, blue-lavender hue and often my clients will comment how it feels like walking into Springtime upon entering the room…Use color as a way to sooth yourself, instead revving it up.
2.Smell – Palo Santo and candles.Whenever I smell burning Palo Santo, Holy Wood, I am instantly connected to divine peace. It smells like nature and mother earth to me.I like lighting candles and Palo Santo before I meditate or spend time in my sacred space.I’ve created my own ritual of sorts.By lighting candles and burning holy wood, I intentionally mark a transition into my sacred space.This in turn, creates a higher vibration thus more “sacred space.”
3.Touch – images and photos.I like to think of this as more about “touching” your heart then physical touch.What are some images that immediately calm you when you look at them?Mother Mary?Angels? Frogs?Pretty knit-knacks from long ago adventures?Friends?Anything that you adorn your sacred space with must be centered in love and tranquility.Your sacred space is yours alone, a place that speaks to your own heart quietly.Be creative and even open to what is important…Maybe a favorite rock or two will show up.
4.Taste – water.I like balance in sacred spaces.Water balances fire - candles.Water nourishes us.It reminds us to be flexible and that our emotions can be fluid like the ocean.I have a wonderful Kuan Yin statue that drips water.Kuan Yin is an Eastern goddess focused on compassion for self and others.(Kind of like the Mother Mary of the East without the virgin-birth story attached.)Some clients leave small bowls of water with flower blossoms floating in their meditation spaces to keep the energy fresh.A nice fountain can also do the trick which also leads to the last tip - sounds.
5.Hearing – what are you listening to?This is where things can be interesting…Are you listening to guided meditations?Great, but what else?Are you quiet in this space sometimes?Have you opened the windows to hear what is going on outside – birds?Have you tried listening to ocean sounds or relaxing music while you are sitting in your sacred space or looking at your shelf?Try some different things and you will discover how your sacred space can support you in many ways.
These are just a few suggestions to help you create your own sacred space.I bet if you look around already in your life today, you can see that you’ve have already gathered your “sacred” tools…It’s really just you allowing yourself the space to blossom.
All of my life I have battled perfect – being perfect, not being perfect, expecting others to be perfect, wondering what is perfect…on and on the thoughts unravel…I think I have mastered my driving need to be “perfect” only to have it show up somewhere else.
It is during these times I am reminded of my stumbling and bumbling through life.Things are so clear cut in my mind, but when I really step back, I view my “two-steps-forward, one-step-back jig” over and over.And in fact, I am grateful.When I see this need to be “perfect” revealed - I see my hurts, but also the hurts of those around me.Not only do I have more compassion for others, but most importantly - I have more compassion for me.
When I surrender in my battle with perfect, I discover peace and acceptance.Not a peace built on certain circumstances, events or people, but a peace with self.True peace.
Do you ever feel like you are emotionally spinning?Maybe you have just had a difficult encounter with a relative or even a friend?You may be able to identify – this person drives me nuts, but the real question is, why?Why has this person been able to affect you?Chances are you have been “triggered.”
“Triggering” happens when some hidden emotional response is activated.My in-laws are professionals at this by using guilt to trigger emotional responses.For example, my husband’s parents will “talk” about each sibling to the other siblings trying to get them to speak to each other…”Oh, so-and-so, really does want to be more involved with your life, but he just doesn’t feel like you care enough…”This is an attempt by someone on the outside to “trigger” or force events in a certain way.
Even though my in-laws intentions are to bring the family closer, their manipulations stall any positive outcomes and actually inject more distance within the family structure.
Often you can identify “triggering” by how you feel inside…When someone or something is “triggering” you, you may feel a tightness in your stomach or chest.Your breathing may change.Things may feel more emotionally intense or you may even feel cornered into a certain defensive reaction.You are being “triggered.”
Now, no matter how well-adjusted and balanced you are today, each of us gets “triggered” every now and then.The trick is not to fear being triggered, but to manage your reaction to whatever happens to illicit an emotional response.So the real trick is, how to stop triggering?
You “trigger” because some place inside of you is feeling under attack.For example, my in-laws use guilt to “trigger” the idea of “being a good son, brother – a good son would call his brothers, visit more, etc.”The fact is my in-laws miss their family and want them to be close.Instead of stating this desire or want, they use manipulation to “make” it happen.They use passive aggressive tactics to avoid themselves getting “hurt” because when you overtly state your desires and wants to others, you make yourself vulnerable.You give others choice - they can choose to say, “No, I don’t want to do that,” and then what?
So, how to get from, “they drive me crazy - triggering,” to witnessing what is really going on, i.e. the in-laws miss their family.One technique I discovered years ago is “writing with God.”
Whenever you are feeling uncertain about things or are triggering, get a few sheets of paper out and begin writing with God.
For example:
Kelly:I hate my in-laws.They f*&5ing suck.If I have to hear another passive aggressive crap out of their mouth, etc…
God: Yes, they do suck.
Kelly:Yeah, they really suck. Why are they so crazy?Who tortures grown children this way?Etc, etc…
God: Kelly, they are sad and miss something that is lost to them. Etc…
(Notice rational voice begins entering the conversation in opposition to ego-centered defensive response.)
The fact is your ego is the “triggered” response.Using this technique allows you to release all your negative thoughts and comments – your ego defense, instead of the usual biting your lip and stuffing all these words deep inside.By using this technique, you are able to release your own negative reactions, thus begin to detach and witness truth – your highest self, your God-response is brought forth.This “higher” place is present inside you right now, waiting to lift you up, but first you have to release your “triggered-ego” by acknowledging the hurt and pain that is present first.
Give it a try…you will be surprised to discover your highest self is waiting, inside you right now, waiting to help you transform your life.Your highest self is the path to happiness and peace everyday.The choice is yours.
Guided meditation was at the center of my own personal transformation years ago.I discovered what was blocking me from my best life was my own self-sabotaging believes that cycled over and over in my mind, and body dooming me to repeat the same mistakes again and again.These beliefs stemmed from my own childhood – created as a way to survive a very dysfunctional environment.
For example, I have always struggled with “not enough.”What I remember of my childhood sucked – alcoholic, violent and little money.It is no wonder I had a “not enough” believe system.I learned from an infant, “there was never enough love, money, time, safety…”This ”not enough” belief carried over into my adulthood driving my choices and decisions in desperate ways.I became stressed, panicked and fearful…Then a therapist suggested guided meditation.
Through guided meditation I was able to “re-write” my thinking.It was like I had these old, negative tapes looping within myself and I needed new, positive messages to replace them.Listening to guided meditations daily allowing me the space and time to create a new, healthy inner dialog.
It took awhile and I kept at it.Before long I realized I liked these new beliefs.I liked seeing myself as lovable, capable, safe…and doors opened, opportunities appeared.My life transformed.
My two meditation series are a result of this transformation.They are really a step-by-step guided path out of a blocked life through meditation.I like creating spaces for you to discover specific issues that are blocking you today.And most importantly, to experience the process of healing over and over within the meditations - a healing that expands outward touching all aspects of your life.It is magic to discover the keys to all your dreams already waits inside – only to be revealed by you.
There are times in your life when you may feel as though you are stumbling through, destination unknown.Maybe you are.And then time passes and you begin to see the stumbling was really moving you forward to a truth or goal that had not yet been revealed.
Years ago I received great advice – take one step each day toward your goal.Of course, the “goal” may be defined differently during the many phases of your life, but it is that forward energy that is most important.This energy drives your ability to gently expand into your fullest self easily and effortlessly.
It’s ok that there are periods in your life when you are confused.In fact, expect it.But know this is a phase.As annoying as this truth is, confusion is an opportunity.Confusion usually stems from some need inside of you not being met whether you are consciously aware of this or not.
Try journaling or reading about places or people that attract you. Meditate. Talk to friends you admire.Listen to the compliments you are receiving in your life right now.And most of all - move toward your dreams and goals – no matter what they are.
One step, each day.Read an article.Make a phone call. Send an email.Take a class. Create something.
When you focus on your goals and desires (even the fleeting ones!), you focus on what you want in life – not a negative, self-defeating idea of what you don’t want.Your thoughts direct your words and your words create your deeds.Your deeds are your life.
It all begins at the same place – choice.Free will.You chose to take that step each day or not.So, what are your thoughts creating in your life today?Is it leading to your goals or not?
There are sure signs of post vacation blues – the fading suntan, irritability, peeling skin, a far-off glassy look in the eyes – it’s all there.Yupe, that’s me – post vacation blues.
I want to go back to the beach where my most pressing issues of the day were; should we have breakfast in bed or at the café?Trashy magazine or book?Which bikini?I’m about ready to cry right now thinking about it…Ughhhh.
Ok, I know I’m blessed.Don’t get me wrong.I am grateful to get away and all that…It’s just - coming back from vacation reveals to me how I long to travel more. I miss water more acutely as we travel back to land-locked Colorado.
When I am absorbed in my daily life – mom, work, wife…Traveling seems like a luxury for someone else, some far off life…and then I find myself on a beach.I slip into the “other life.”The cool life, without meals to fix, dishes to wash…without responsibilities.Before the children.
About the fourth day on vacation I begin missing the children, my home, my kitchen and the on fifth day I’m ready to go back.A joyful return happens, gifts for the kids, the clothes are washed and a few days pass…Then - post vacation blues.
I don’t want to make any meals – where is Hector?Isn’t someone coming by to pick up the towels?Why is it not 84 degrees outside?Is someone coming by with my afternoon snack?And I realize what I like about vacation is becoming a kid again.I know my blues today really stem from a mild resentment as I’ve slipped into the adult again.Driving the car, cooking, answering to the title, “Mommy.”
Yes, I have heard all the “new-age talk” - bring vacation into your every day life.Whatever.If this was truly possible, why would you need a vacation?Vacations to me are like “postcards” – a snapshot of a unique moment in time, both good and bad.It’s ok that vacations hold a little glamour, little magic still.
What I really think needs to happens is more vacations…How ‘bout Disney in the fall?Isn’t there some money from the government coming soon?Ummm, I’m feeling better already.Where to stay???
Spring is a great time to “smudge” your home or office.“Smudging” or “cleansing the space of all negative energies” can be done any time of the year.However, the Spring offers a certain kind of “forward energy” that can enhance any kind of intention or endeavor.
According to Eastern medicine, the energy of the Spring is “anger, a pushing through, sometimes even violent.”This energy is required for new life to burst up through the ground – pushing the earth away, thus clearing the space for new life to grow.Maybe you have noticed in your own life Spring is a time rebirth and renewal?Maybe even new opportunities appear regularly during this season for you?
Smudging your home or office at this time helps to create more opportunities in your life today as well as setting an intention for the months ahead.First, clean your home.If you really want to maximize the positive effects of smudging, go through your closets and drawers too – giving away anything you have not worn or used in the past year.
Some people like to sell their old clothes/stuff – fine and beneficial, however, I invite you to donate the items if you can afford too (it is a tax write-off too!) This act creates more positive energy for you because it activates a generous spirit and a feeling of plenty within.
What to smudge your home with?I like to use Holy Wood just because I like the scent best – “brings the woods indoors.”Some like Sage and others use rosewater, it really doesn’t matter.It is the intention that is most important, not the scent.Pick something that you have an immediate positive reaction to – that is the best indicator.
Stand at your front door and begin saying something like…”I clear this room of all negative energies - to go back into the light from which it was born…This room now attracts love, joy, wealth, abundance, good health…”As you speak these words, light your smudge stick and walk along the walls of the room.The idea is to remove all negative energy from the room first and then replace these empty spaces with new positive energy of love and happiness.
When I “clear” homes and offices, this is when I “see” images that are stuck or blocking positive energies.If this happens for you, just send these thoughts and images into the light to be cleared as well.You may even notice “solutions” to problem areas in your home as you smudge the rooms.
Don’t worry about your exact words you speak as much as the idea of clearing first each room and then setting the intention of what you want the room (your life) to attract.
Once you have smudged all areas of your home, you can also smudge the yard if you so feel compelled.Otherwise go back into your house.Play some great music.Have something yummy to drink & eat and dream…Dream about the life you desire to unfold in your home.See the love, hope, possibilities - all these for you, waiting for you to step into…And most of all – have fun.
