Are you seeking to become your ideal self? Are you struggling to live a fuller life? Join us this week on Indie Spirit as we explore how to become your ideal self – thus creating your most abundant life. Discover simple strategies to a better, fuller life with meditation, laughter, sharing and of course, great indie music.

That day is upon us, Valentine’s Day. For years a girlfriend and I have referred to it as “Happy V.D.” ~ followed by much giggling. Valentine’s Day is quite a conundrum. I like the idea of celebrating love, but find the whole day, kind of a set up for failure.

If I chose to say I am above that “kind of manufactured display of love” and not participate, certainly I’m unhappy. Where are my chocolates? Thank God, I no longer work in an office where the relentless parade of delivered flowers consumed me. I can honestly say, what I dislike the most, is the exclusionary aspect of the celebration. You don’t have a Valentine?

I did a little research on the origins of Valentine’s Day using the Wikipedia encyclopedia, only to discover its beginnings had little to do with “romantic love”…

The feast of St. Valentine was first decreed in 496 by Pope Gelasius, possibly as an attempt to supersede the pagan holiday of Lupercalia. ‘Valentine’ was the name of one or more martyred Christian Saints. Nothing is known about them except “their feats were known to God” – a dubious beginning to be sure…

It was in the 14th century that author Geoffrey Chaucer first associated the feast with the notion of “romantic love.” Ummmm, so we can thank an author with a knack for refined “fart” jokes for this celebration…There is a certain kind of symmetry to that I think.

As you can guess, I do like to participate in Valentine’s Day. However, I have modified it to fit me. I send Valentines to my girlfriends. I give my husband instructions, “Chocolate and lingerie.” (“Lingerie” can easily be exchanged for “shiny baubles” depending how I feel about my dress size that year.) I buy my husband and my kids something small with homemade cards attached. And, I buy myself flowers. Pretty, pretty flowers. Happy V.D.

Living hopefully leads to a fuller life.

Simply, I believe it’s a chance to become one. The concept of time shifts during a tragedy – events can slows down or speed up. Miracles and heroes become in split seconds. We discover the better angles of our characters and ultimately, all together we grieve. Our collective tears bring us together. This is a chance to shift to something greater – to get to higher ground.

I have been watching some of the coverage of the Tucson violence of this past Saturday. I am horrified, sad and…hopeful. For tonight I was reminded of the goodness that rests in each of us.

I heard an interview with a nurse, who happened to be at the market shopping with her physician husband when the shots rang out. She and her husband immediately helped with the wounded. The experience was all still very emotional for her and she said, “Here is this guy doing a horrible thing, yet the people – respond like heroes. Helping each other. It was amazing. People tried to comfort and save…”

She quietly began to weep. I felt tears burn in my own eyes and a tightening in my throat. Here in the midst of tragedy, goodness and light had triumphed again.

Yes, a madman did happen Saturday morning and the response – more heroes became that morning in Tucson…Bad things do happen. Horrific events occur – frankly some people are unstable. It has always been thus and I expect it shall always be. No matter how much evolving any culture does, their will always be evil somewhere. A lurking Darkness.

Yet the light shines brightest in the dark. You cannot have light without dark. It is a balance. We need balance.

I invite you to trust ~ the innate goodness of people will not be overcome because of a horrific event. Let us learn from this. Let none of these souls perish from this earth without receiving their call – be better.

Just a reminder of sweet Summer amid the dark days of winter…

Here we are, the first Monday of the New Year and I have a secret for you on how to make this year better ~ your thoughts. Where are your thoughts right now? Are you worrying about something? Anxious about the future? Stressed about a job? A relationship? A health crisis?

Here’s the secret part – you can’t control any of those events named above. You can’t control the housing market or the weather or even the behaviors/actions of any other person in your life right now. What you can control is your reactions and/or your thoughts. You can control how big anything can feel emotionally by how/where you focus your thoughts. You can be Mindful.

Try this, think of a person or situation that you are concerned about. Feel things as you normally experience them – thinking about worst-case scenarios and ‘what-if’s.’ Now how do you feel?

Now shift your thinking – believe things work out. Adapt an attitude of faith that the person can and do find their way through. Maybe not in the timing of your preference, but in the timing other’s highest and best. Imagine things working out for those around you and most importantly – for YOU.

Now how do you feel? Bigger? Calmer inside? Sink into that peaceful place of mindfulness.

Here’s one thing to remember – yes, life is scary sometimes. People we love get hurt, jobs are lost, hearts are broken, debts can overwhelm and still the best support you can give anyone (including yourself!) is a firm belief they (you) will be victorious.

Be Mindful and unlock Peace in any situation…

Mary’s Time

For some Christmas is about the presents, the big meals or even seeing old friends and family…but for me, this is Mary’s time. I adore Mother Mary. Through her, I have learned to be a better me. Oh sure, this may sound trite, even a touch phony – but it’s true.

I did not always feel this way. I struggled with Mother Mary for years. I didn’t understand how she could just stand by and watch Jesus die on the cross. How could she not throw herself before the soldiers shouting, “Take me, take me instead?” What kind of mother was she? With time, I discovered, she was the best kind of mother.

Years ago when my own son was in a very real health crisis, I came to know Mary’s heart. Mary loved her son. She loved Jesus so much that she was able to stand at the foot of the cross as he bled and bled. She remained with him to his very last breath when he finally cried out to his father above. Mary stayed close by. She believed in Jesus and his own separate purpose.

Was it difficult? Unimaginably painful, just ask any parent of a suffering child. Some parents can’t stay though the suffering. Some parents runaway or reject seeing their child in pain. But many, many more faithfully stay and look for cures. Still others find grace when there are no cures. And there in the shadows Mary waits too, grace and peace swirl at her feet.

For Mary stayed – at the birth, in the raising of her precious son, at the feasts of celebration and sadly, at the cross too. As far as we know she did not try to sway Jesus from his purpose, she loved him. She trusted his boyhood days that found him arguing with the rabbis in temple when he should have been in the fields. She trusted in his many trips to the desert when he would came back ablaze with the divine, overflowing with new ideas. Such radical new ideas of faith…yet she trusted Jesus.

She also trusted in the unseen divine that sometime requires much…Did she not know herself the cost? The sting of judgment? Pregnant and without a husband, forced out by her community. Mary knew all too well the cost of faith…

Mary has come to me many times throughout my life. I am unbelievably blessed to have such intimate moments with her. The first time I experienced the presence of Mary as an adult I was overwhelmed. My first thought was I am not worthy, there are more important people/problems than me. I felt her outpouring love even more keenly at that moment and the words, “You are my beloved child, nothing is more important” boomed in my mind.

Words can not properly express the magnitude of this moment for me. The best I can say is my life split – before I was alone and after, I was forever held. Not only did I realize that I was held but that everyone was being held by unseen forces at every moment. I saw ways in my own childhood that Mary’s presence had been there even though I couldn’t see it at the time.

Here’s the important part – bad things happened and I am still the beloved child. I’ve made peace with my past. Even though there were certainly hardships, I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them.

Again, this may sound trite, too easy an answer, but it’s true. Peace is usually standing right next to you, but only you can truly believe you are worthy to partake in the feast…You’ll have to stop beating yourself up, judging your own failings – real or imagined, you’ll have to allow yourself to come down from your own self-imposed cross into the waiting arms of peace. For Mary is waiting there, loving you just the way you are, patiently waiting for you to come home…

Merry Christmas

Come stroll with me through the Winter Wonderland…

You know this club. You can pick them out in any bar or social function. It’s the life is so-bad club. You can recognize the members because they are always talking about how hard things are. They never have enough time for themselves because of all the things they are doing for their kids, spouse, job, co-workers, boss, family, friends…However they DO have enough time to tell you how difficult things are, yet no solutions fall from their lips, just complaining words…

Not surprisingly each of us finds our way into this club at some time. We don’t usually intend to be a part of this club, but somehow the dynamics of a group or a single friendship deteriorates into this place. What began as voicing a concern, becomes a negative focus. Maybe the group begins whining about work or a friend complains about a sagging relationship, but it doesn’t stop there with letting off steam, it becomes relentless. It’s all you discuss – how bad it is…

When you discover yourself in this group – stop. Don’t blame anyone else, you got yourself here, now how to get out? Detach.

The reason you are in this negative dynamic now is because you feel power-less and you are stuck in a bad habit of thinking. For now, try to distance yourself from this group or friendship quietly and create some space for yourself. What are you afraid of? Are there solutions that you haven’t considered? Do you need a change?

Detachment may seem uncomfortable or even impossible for you, but do you really want to complain your life away? I think not. It could be the problem you are facing is too big for you to find your way through alone. Maybe you do need support, but it has to be healthy. You could try reaching out to a trusted friend or even someone like me, a life coach and begin setting goals to create the life you deserve. Instead of letting others or a group mentality keep you in a less-than place, make a different choice. For happiness is no far off shore, it’s closer then you think, just waiting for you to step into…