This guided meditation focuses on connecting to your ideal body.  There is no perfect number, but there is a feeling of satisfaction.  This meditation offers support as you transform into your ideal self emotionally and physically.  Enjoy! 

Recently a client asked, “How do you create a sacred space for meditation and quiet.”  These are some tips to create your own sacred space be it an entire room or a small shelf.

 I like to think of sacred spaces as being attached to your senses…

 1.       Visual - Color.  Colors trigger emotional responses from the inside.  Think of it, seeing “red” when you are angry or feeling “blue” when you are sad.  Try painting the sacred space or even the shelf, a calming color to help “queue” your internal response to “relax.”  My office is painted a gorgeous, blue-lavender hue and often my clients will comment how it feels like walking into Springtime upon entering the room…Use color as a way to sooth yourself, instead revving it up.

2.       Smell – Palo Santo and candles.  Whenever I smell burning Palo Santo, Holy Wood, I am instantly connected to divine peace. It smells like nature and mother earth to me.  I like lighting candles and Palo Santo before I meditate or spend time in my sacred space.  I’ve created my own ritual of sorts.  By lighting candles and burning holy wood, I intentionally mark a transition into my sacred space.  This in turn, creates a higher vibration thus more “sacred space.”

3.       Touch – images and photos.  I like to think of this as more about “touching” your heart then physical touch.  What are some images that immediately calm you when you look at them?  Mother Mary?  Angels? Frogs?  Pretty knit-knacks from long ago adventures?  Friends?  Anything that you adorn your sacred space with must be centered in love and tranquility.  Your sacred space is yours alone, a place that speaks to your own heart quietly.  Be creative and even open to what is important…Maybe a favorite rock or two will show up.

4.       Taste – water.  I like balance in sacred spaces.  Water balances fire - candles.  Water nourishes us.  It reminds us to be flexible and that our emotions can be fluid like the ocean.  I have a wonderful Kuan Yin statue that drips water.  Kuan Yin is an Eastern goddess focused on compassion for self and others.  (Kind of like the Mother Mary of the East without the virgin-birth story attached.)  Some clients leave small bowls of water with flower blossoms floating in their meditation spaces to keep the energy fresh.  A nice fountain can also do the trick which also leads to the last tip - sounds.

5.       Hearing – what are you listening to?  This is where things can be interesting…Are you listening to guided meditations?  Great, but what else?  Are you quiet in this space sometimes?  Have you opened the windows to hear what is going on outside – birds?  Have you tried listening to ocean sounds or relaxing music while you are sitting in your sacred space or looking at your shelf?  Try some different things and you will discover how your sacred space can support you in many ways.

 These are just a few suggestions to help you create your own sacred space.  I bet if you look around already in your life today, you can see that you’ve have already gathered your “sacred” tools…It’s really just you allowing yourself the space to blossom. 

In this guided meditation, you will be lead through a process of releasing negative energy with white light.  Expect to feel relaxed, refreshed and balanced each time you listen to this meditation.  Enjoy!

All of my life I have battled perfect – being perfect, not being perfect, expecting others to be perfect, wondering what is perfect…on and on the thoughts unravel…I think I have mastered my driving need to be “perfect” only to have it show up somewhere else. 

 It is during these times I am reminded of my stumbling and bumbling through life.  Things are so clear cut in my mind, but when I really step back, I view my “two-steps-forward, one-step-back jig” over and over.  And in fact, I am grateful.  When I see this need to be “perfect” revealed - I see my hurts, but also the hurts of those around me.  Not only do I have more compassion for others, but most importantly - I have more compassion for me.

 When I surrender in my battle with perfect, I discover peace and acceptance.  Not a peace built on certain circumstances, events or people, but a peace with self.  True peace. 

Do you ever feel like you are emotionally spinning?  Maybe you have just had a difficult encounter with a relative or even a friend?  You may be able to identify – this person drives me nuts, but the real question is, why?  Why has this person been able to affect you?  Chances are you have been “triggered.”

 “Triggering” happens when some hidden emotional response is activated.  My in-laws are professionals at this by using guilt to trigger emotional responses.  For example, my husband’s parents will “talk” about each sibling to the other siblings trying to get them to speak to each other…”Oh, so-and-so, really does want to be more involved with your life, but he just doesn’t feel like you care enough…”  This is an attempt by someone on the outside to “trigger” or force events in a certain way.

 Even though my in-laws intentions are to bring the family closer, their manipulations stall any positive outcomes and actually inject more distance within the family structure.

 Often you can identify “triggering” by how you feel inside…When someone or something is “triggering” you, you may feel a tightness in your stomach or chest.  Your breathing may change.  Things may feel more emotionally intense or you may even feel cornered into a certain defensive reaction.  You are being “triggered.” 

 Now, no matter how well-adjusted and balanced you are today, each of us gets “triggered” every now and then.  The trick is not to fear being triggered, but to manage your reaction to whatever happens to illicit an emotional response.  So the real trick is, how to stop triggering? 

 You “trigger” because some place inside of you is feeling under attack.  For example, my in-laws use guilt to “trigger” the idea of “being a good son, brother – a good son would call his brothers, visit more, etc.”  The fact is my in-laws miss their family and want them to be close.  Instead of stating this desire or want, they use manipulation to “make” it happen.  They use passive aggressive tactics to avoid themselves getting “hurt” because when you overtly state your desires and wants to others, you make yourself vulnerable.  You give others choice - they can choose to say, “No, I don’t want to do that,” and then what? 

 So, how to get from, “they drive me crazy - triggering,” to witnessing what is really going on, i.e. the in-laws miss their family.  One technique I discovered years ago is “writing with God.”    

 Whenever you are feeling uncertain about things or are triggering, get a few sheets of paper out and begin writing with God. 

 For example:

 Kelly:  I hate my in-laws.  They f*&5ing suck.  If I have to hear another passive aggressive crap out of their mouth, etc…

God: Yes, they do suck.

Kelly:  Yeah, they really suck. Why are they so crazy?  Who tortures grown children this way?  Etc, etc…

God: Kelly, they are sad and miss something that is lost to them. Etc…

 (Notice rational voice begins entering the conversation in opposition to ego-centered defensive response.)

 The fact is your ego is the “triggered” response.  Using this technique allows you to release all your negative thoughts and comments – your ego defense, instead of the usual biting your lip and stuffing all these words deep inside.  By using this technique, you are able to release your own negative reactions, thus begin to detach and witness truth – your highest self, your God-response is brought forth.  This “higher” place is present inside you right now, waiting to lift you up, but first you have to release your “triggered-ego” by acknowledging the hurt and pain that is present first. 

 Give it a try…you will be surprised to discover your highest self is waiting, inside you right now, waiting to help you transform your life.  Your highest self is the path to happiness and peace everyday.  The choice is yours.

Guided meditation was at the center of my own personal transformation years ago.  I discovered what was blocking me from my best life was my own self-sabotaging believes that cycled over and over in my mind, and body dooming me to repeat the same mistakes again and again.  These beliefs stemmed from my own childhood – created as a way to survive a very dysfunctional environment. 

 For example, I have always struggled with “not enough.”  What I remember of my childhood sucked – alcoholic, violent and little money.  It is no wonder I had a “not enough” believe system.  I learned from an infant, “there was never enough love, money, time, safety…”  This ”not enough” belief carried over into my adulthood driving my choices and decisions in desperate ways.  I became stressed, panicked and fearful…Then a therapist suggested guided meditation. 

 Through guided meditation I was able to “re-write” my thinking.  It was like I had these old, negative tapes looping within myself and I needed new, positive messages to replace them.  Listening to guided meditations daily allowing me the space and time to create a new, healthy inner dialog. 

 It took awhile and I kept at it.  Before long I realized I liked these new beliefs.  I liked seeing myself as lovable, capable, safe…and doors opened, opportunities appeared.  My life transformed.

 My two meditation series are a result of this transformation.  They are really a step-by-step guided path out of a blocked life through meditation.  I like creating spaces for you to discover specific issues that are blocking you today.  And most importantly, to experience the process of healing over and over within the meditations - a healing that expands outward touching all aspects of your life.  It is magic to discover the keys to all your dreams already waits inside – only to be revealed by you. 

There are times in your life when you may feel as though you are stumbling through, destination unknown.  Maybe you are.  And then time passes and you begin to see the stumbling was really moving you forward to a truth or goal that had not yet been revealed. 

 Years ago I received great advice – take one step each day toward your goal.  Of course, the “goal” may be defined differently during the many phases of your life, but it is that forward energy that is most important.  This energy drives your ability to gently expand into your fullest self easily and effortlessly. 

 It’s ok that there are periods in your life when you are confused.  In fact, expect it.  But know this is a phase.  As annoying as this truth is, confusion is an opportunity.  Confusion usually stems from some need inside of you not being met whether you are consciously aware of this or not.

 Try journaling or reading about places or people that attract you.  Meditate.  Talk to friends you admire.  Listen to the compliments you are receiving in your life right now.  And most of all - move toward your dreams and goals – no matter what they are. 

 One step, each day.  Read an article.  Make a phone call. Send an email.  Take a class. Create something. 

 When you focus on your goals and desires (even the fleeting ones!), you focus on what you want in life – not a negative, self-defeating idea of what you don’t want.  Your thoughts direct your words and your words create your deeds.  Your deeds are your life. 

 It all begins at the same place – choice.  Free will.  You chose to take that step each day or not.  So, what are your thoughts creating in your life today?  Is it leading to your goals or not?

I know I am in trouble when I use the word “never.”  It usually is an indicator of my judge being in charge at that moment.  Ok, there are a few “nevers” we can agree upon regarding certain crimes, but even then this is a small list if you really look at in reality. 

 It would be my hope to I would never kill anyone, but honestly if me, my children, my husband were being violently threatened – hell hath no fury as this redhead and all bets are off.  I am again being reminded of my protective streak this week.

 A dear friend of mine is being hurt.  In fact, this is at my church.  I am horrified by the behavior of my minister and a controlling board on a witch hunt trying to force my friend out.  Interestingly enough as witch hunts go – this will explode in their own faces. 

 Witch hunts operate on assumptions and fear.  They are usually full of contradictions - thus easy pickings for those of us based in truth.  What lay beneath the witch hunt is judgment and “I never…”  It has been my experience, when that motto is at the forefront of a cause - there are hypocrites involved. 

 In this case, it has to do with assumed inappropriate behavior.  Red flags everywhere.  Warning - judgments abound.  So our minister is trying to force out the associate minister while her own niece, the youth minister, is doing the very same things she accusing the associate minister of doing.  Oh, it is a wicked game indeed.  Hence the witch hunt will to explode in their faces…Because the niece has been saying – “oh no, I never…”

 Unfortunately, there are cameras and witnesses that tell a different story.  Oh a tangled web we weave trying to deceive…So our minister is loosing her congregation person by person.  It is strange to see this unfold.  Strange that someone I admired so much and looked to for guidance again and again could come to this place.  Feet of clay.

 We all have them.  Sometimes they lead us to foolish places, but there, there amidst your own stupidity and follies – there is grace.  It is in our foolishness our beliefs are revealed.  Beliefs that are sabotaging our lives every today in quiet ways.  But this is the grace – the opportunity to see the folly in your ways and turn. 

 Turn to more.  Turn to a life of fullness with all your glory and warts revealed.  Yes, that is me too, feet of clay.  I am no better then my minister.  I trust this is part of her learning, her journey – blind spots to be revealed.  My job is to stand and reflect the truth.  Be a light of truth – no matter the cost - because I must.  I am no Judas. 

 A few years ago I read with my minister in Bible study as Jesus asked his disciples to watch with him on his last night.  I could barely stand the scene as I kept complaining to the group, “Who are these men?  Falling asleep not one time, but three?  How can these be the disciples?  Nothing divine about them?  Who does this?”

 My dear minister wisely asked me, “Kelly, have you ever fallen asleep?  Not shown up?”  Uuughhh, it was like a physical blow as I saw the disciples were me.  In the moment the bible became real to me and I am forever grateful. 

 So I trust, I can only see in part.  All will be revealed later.  

About fifteen years ago I was first introduced to Flower Essences.  I had been in chronic pain for over a year due to a car accident and I was a mess.  I had tried to find relief through regular western medicine, but this only lead to more pills.  Seeking alternative treatments, I found a healer who introduced me to flower essences and what lay beyond physical pain – the emotions. 

 I discovered to find true healing I needed to address not only the physical pains, but also the emotional scars that were at its foundation.  This is when Flower Essence Remedies entered my life.  Flower Essence Remedies are based on the concept that food is for your body as flowers are for your soul…

 Bach Flower Essences were first created by British physician, Dr. Edward Bach, in the 1930s.  Bach was treating returning soldiers from WWI for their wounds and unfortunately, many were not getting better.  He discovered you had to go beyond the outward signs of physical pain/injury to the emotional traumas still held within the mind and spirit to find true healing. 

 Flower Essences are derived from the flowering parts of plants.  The essence holds the life force of that plant and its specific qualities.  For example, I think everyone has heard of the calming effects of lavender.  Or even that mistletoe’s meaning is “all heal” and is still used today to treat cancer.  Bach rediscovered the forgotten knowledge of flowers that was surely passed down through the ages - only lost for awhile during the crush of 19^th century modernization.

 Flower Essences are not to be taken to relieve the physical symptoms of injury, but as support.  Flower Essences add support to your process – they strengthen your ability to work through conflicts, challenges or obstacles on your journey to wellness.  Sometimes the remedies will actually create the space where you may even feel discomfort more acutely as to “clear” this trauma. 

 A remedy usually last about a month, four drops - four times a day.  I like to think of it as a full cycle.  When you first take the flower remedy you may feel “better” for a day or so before the clearing begins…and then there becomes a heightened awareness of certain annoyances, fights, unsaid words, old patterns that keep coming up over and over until finally you are dealing with your real issue.  It may not feel great, but its necessary to finally be free of this issue and now you have the resources within to make the shift and heal.

 I use Flower Remedies all the time with my clients and in my own life – my kids love them!  They are non-toxic and safe.  It is really another blanket of support you can give yourself, any time – gentle, hopeful and full of possibilities, like the blossoms they are…So be it.  Some Flower Essences to think about…

 Fear…Garlic, Holly, Larch, Black-Eyed Susan, Poison Oak/p Exhaustion & Fatigue…Aloe Vera, Echinacea, Impatiens, Lavender, Olive

 Faith…Aspen, Forget-Me-Not, Sage, Sweet Chestnut

 Depression & Despair…Elm, Chrysanthemum, Hornbeam, Mustard

 Creativity…Buttercup, Iris, Queen Anne’s Lace, Zinnia

 Courage…Fawn Lily, Evening Primrose, Golden Yarrow, Rock Rose 

Love…Angelica, Chicory, Yellow Star Tulip, Mariposa Lily 

Are the days dragging?  Has February got you down?  And there’s even extra day this year too – Leap year!  Help is here.  Try these suggestions I’ve developed over the years for myself and clients to get out of a rut and into my best day. 

1.  Intention.  Set an intention through breathe, prayer or meditation each morning.  Every morning before my husband and I part for the day we hold hands and take turns saying a short prayer, usually not longer then 30 seconds.  This act creates intimacy in your relationship and yourself because you are connecting to what is important and voicing your desires.  This can be done alone, with a spouse or friend, even with children, and still the positive affects will slip into your life magically.

 2.        Make your bed.  I know it sounds silly, but it works.  It takes maybe a minute and half - tops, to pull the covers up and fluff the pillows and viola – an oasis is born, just waiting for you at the end of the day.  This creates a small space of order in your life that quietly expands outward.

 3.       Breakfast.  Even a granola bar will do.  Again, I know you’ve heard this before, but this too works.  Skipping breakfast can lead to becoming a starving lunatic by lunch where binge eating and a need for a nap take center stage.  Breakfast helps you to stay more balanced through the morning and it is even good for staying trim!

 4.       Smiling and laughter.  Any chance you get, smile and laugh.  Immediately you will feel better and best of all - smiles are contagious.  The people around you will enjoy being around you so much more with a smile on your face and an easy laugh.  If you are having trouble finding your smile or laughter – call a friend who always makes you laugh, or flip back in your mind to a funny image or story from your past and re-visit the joke again.  You will feel better – lighter, so smile.

 5.       Sun and nature.  We’ve all read the studies – no sunlight leads to depression.  If you have ever wintered in New England – you know the truth of this statement.  I have had friends who buy those special lambs and sit under them for 15 minutes a day – swearing by the positive effects.  If possible, try sitting in a sunny window or better yet, get outside and go for a walk.  During the winter, it is so easy to only walk outside going to and from your job or the mailbox – resist this trap and take a walk during your lunch break.  You may even be surprised by noticing Spring flowers beginning to break though and realizing Spring is in fact coming this year!

 It is my hope that these suggestions help you to connect to a more balanced and joyful day each day.  May it be so.