Please join me as I guide you through a short meditation to remove obstacles on you path to your most abundant life.  Each of us encounters difficulty in life, but only you hold the key to transcend these challenges.  This meditation creates the space within to unlock your own truth…Come, discover your answers today.

“Gentle” doesn’t come easily for me.  I was raised to work hard – achieve.  There isn’t a whole lot of room for ‘soft and gentle’ when you are in competition, even if the person you are competing against is yourself. 

 As I watched the Olympics this week, I was surprised when a ping-pong champion was asked, “Why hasn’t ping-pong taken off in the States?” 

 “Well, Americans don’t like things to be soft.  They want to go outside for there sports.  Hard,” she said.

 I couldn’t agree more.  Maybe it’s because this country began with immigrants trying to make a better life - as they still try today.  Competition is a naturally outcrop of this path.  Or maybe it’s because we have so much already, organized competition has to be hard.  Or maybe it’s because Americans are driven to get their slice of the pie…

 My grandfather came over from Ireland when he was about twenty and he was hungry.  Hungry for food, hungry for money and safety, hungry for love, hungry for a place be.  Unfortunately, he stayed hungry his whole life and passed this hunger, this ‘not enough’ feeling onto his children, my mother.  She too passed this message onto me, and my other siblings through her own words and deeds. 

 And here I am today with a choice, “Do I too pass this hunger onto my children?  Do I continue the cycle of ‘not enough’?”  Of course the answer is easy, no I won’t pass it along…but do I anyway?  Through my own thoughtless deeds and words?  Sometimes horribly, yes.

 So today I am working on - gentle and being soft.  Not to hear words spoken to me through a filter of fear and pain, but through light.  To expect the best from everyone and not to take it personally if another does not want to behave from their highest self.  That is their problem, their journey – my focus is with self.  And with myself - I am gentle and soft.  So be it.

This meditation connects you to gratitude.  Recently while on vacation at the beach, I was overcome by a feeling of gratitude for the beautiful life I lead.  Problems seem so small next to a vast ocean with the sun’s rays shining down.   

Come, join me and connect to new beginnings with the Sun’s Energy… 

I leave tomorrow for my annual girl’s trip.  This year we are headed to Martha’s Vineyard.  No husband, no kids, no work, actual adult “me” time. Often, I’ve discovered during these annual trips, I see myself again. Amusingly, I witness the unique quirks of me over and over without the distraction of kids or a husband…

In my mind’s eye, I am wonderful, flexible traveler. In reality, not so much - sensitive stomach, sleeplessness due to excitement, finicky eater…When I step back and really see it, it’s ridiculous.

The dichotomy of my hopeful mind’s eye (I am a world-class traveler, ready to win the Amazing Race!), and the starch truth of my behavior (porta-potties cause me to wince involuntarily) - it is absurd.  This flexible person in my mind’s eye, well, she just doesn’t exist in reality. Do we all decide how we should be and quietly berate ourselves for not measuring up? The hum of disapproval vibrating in our minds.

I have discovered I am much happier when I operate in the world from the truth of my behavior. I am not a good traveler for all my so called good intentions, and now, I travel prepared – stomach cures, sleeping pills and power bars. I am who I am and I will not be entering the Amazing Race, ever.

When I return from these girls’ trips, I feel softened and empowered. I only go now with one other girlfriend because, well, we’re selfish.  My girlfriend and I met in the first few weeks of college. We have always been mistaken for sisters as we look, dress and act similarly even to this day. We are so much alike, yet our life choices have lead us on very different paths. She is in international law and single. I am married, mother of two and working from my home…Yet we are still sisters. 

For about five days each year we live like sisters again…We giggle, gossip, tease, re-tell the same stories over and over again, shop, eat and drink too much, and listen to the new stories each has to tell.  We have tried to include others, but it doesn’t lead to good places.  The only men we talk to are named Hector and carry trays with umbrella drinks.  We have a fantastic time.

Even with our very different lives, we are able to support each other still. She helps me access my identity before the rest of life crowded in. She helps me play and frankly, stay young.

Several years ago she inspired me to get back into a bikini…I had not worn a bikini in maybe 10 years—I was a Mom, that time had past, my body wasn’t perfect. Again, I heard the hum of disapproval vibrating within. But I did it anyway, and you know what, I looked good.

I looked around the beach and everyone was in bikinis, with all their different bodies for the entire world to see. There were no perfect bodies. Even the sixteen year olds had cellulite. I didn’t have to be perfect. Finally, my mind’s eye had softened to embrace reality. The disapproving hum disappeared, only to be replaced by the crashing of waves and laughter of sisters.

I knew my life was ruined – we had promised my daughter a dog for her eighth birthday and that day was here.  When she was two and this promise first began, eight years old seemed so far away, at least six years…Alas time marches on and we have promises to keep…

 Let me be clear – I am a cat person.  My distaste for dogs was born out of jealousy.  I grew up with dogs, but unfortunately my Mother was (still is) “nuts” about her dogs.  My mother yelled at the kids/husband while the dogs were protected from her tempers.  Hence I was jealous of the dogs because they never experienced the wrath of Mother, only the good stuff.   Dogs were not my best friends.

 In contrast, my daughter is one of those kids that animals love.  She and my husband are dog-magnets.  My friends set up play dates for her to come over and play with their dogs.  She just adores animals, so there was no way I could get out of this eighth Birthday promise (especially since I had been asked daily for six years, “When is my eighth Birthday?)  However I was still dreading all the extra work a dog meant for me, no matter all the promises to walk, brush, feed, etc. 

 I had been mentally preparing for this for the past six months – psyching up to add the many extra duties of dog ownership; walks, food, poop pick-up, training…Then my husband came up with the great idea of adopting an adult dog as to avoid the hassles of puppy-hood. 

 After just a couple days of searching online, we adopted Katie from a rescue shelter.  Katie was the only dog we saw and it was love at first site.  To be perfectly frank, I am shocked by my own instant bond with her.  Let me repeat, I don’t really like dogs – they smell, shed hair all over me, constant attention, jump up, bark and did I mention the hair?  But, there it is anyway – I am in love with her.

 Yes, wisely, Katie helped her cause immediately by deciding I am her favorite.  My husband is a bit chagrinned as it is clear Katie regards me as top dog in the house, but I am leaving town for a few days soon and things could change…

 Still, I am surprised by my own immediate bond with her.  I feel more relaxed with her sleeping in my office while I work.  I feel safer.  My daughter is happier and has already got Katie sitting with only hand cues (she learned watching Animal Planet.)  My husband is calmer and honestly I think is more attracted to me because he likes seeing me bonded with a dog.  Now my son, he could care less…and gratefully, this is ok with me as I understand maybe he is a cat person.

 Without a doubt this has been a remarkable, surprising and fulfilling promise to keep.  One I will never regret, however, I have learned my lesson.  There will be no promises of cars, trips or college, tripping from my lips now.  One dog is enough to teach this old dog a new trick.  I have learned my lesson – no promises involving living things or costs exceeding $100 no matter what! 

This is a shortened version of my Chalice of Abundance Meditation.  Use this meditation to clear blocks and manifest your most abundant life.  Enjoy!

Does your relationship feel stuck?  Going through the same patterns over and over?  Bored?  Read Passionate Marriage.  My husband and I just finished reading this life-changing book.  I’m serious – life-changing, however – not for the faint of heart.  This book is blunt with a capital “B.”

 Schnarch believes the dynamics of your relationships, for better or worse, are displayed in your sexual behaviors (i.e. who wants what, frequency, satisfaction…)  Thus what’s happening or not happening in the bedroom, is just another stage for the “real issues” of your relationship – trust, deserving, respect, etc. 

 Maybe you think you and your partner “can’t communicate anymore,” Schnarch explains how you are in fact very much communicating and how, why, when…There are about 4 or 5 couples he follows through their “time in the crucible.”  The whole concept of emotional fusion and self-soothing was keenly beneficial to not only my relationship with my husband but with everyone else in my life.

 This is a must read!

Recently several clients and friends have experienced hardships from house foreclosures to job loss to health crisis.  Unfortunately not all things in life are “good” but with the right tools, you can find your way through your own quagmire to peace…

 1.  Becoming a victim.  Often when tragedy strikes our first response is, “Why Me?”   A more realistic response would be, “Why not me?”  No one will walk through this life without mishap or tragedy.  Why?  Because it is in our “hardships/mistakes” that we learn, not our perfect moves.  I believe each of us is striving for wholeness, so we must grow – growing can hurt sometimes. 

 Years ago I was introduced to Wayne Dyer’s idea that, “there is a valid reason for everything that happens.”  At first I rebelled against this idea – I was a victim – raised in an alcoholic, violent home; molested as a teen; divorced parents; had to work my way through college; chronic pain due to a car accident…on and on I could list why life was unfair and I was a victim. 

 Then I detached and looked again – all of these horrible events taught me and brought me closer to wholeness – in ways I never expect…The chronic pain from my car accident drove me to seek alternative approaches to healing as I had exhausted all the traditional medical avenues.  By going down this alternative path, one I would have never walked without this unrelenting pain – I unlocked a whole new life, a new path to peace. 

 When you are a victim, it is impossible to see past traumatic events to, “What do I need to learn from this?” and “What is my body/soul trying to tell me?” i.e. “What do I need to learn from this experience so I don’t find myself in these shoes again?” When you decide there is a valid reason for everything, you take back your power.  Instead of being tossed about as a victim of circumstances, you own this experience and glean the knowledge to transcend tragic events.  You grow into fullness.

 Once I was able to shift from “poor me” to “What can I learn from this to empower my life today?” (“When have I felt this way before? Or is this a bad pattern I am in?”)  I was able to unlock the victim response from any experience.  Thus I created a pocket of peace within whatever tragedy/difficult event occurred because I know, there is a valid reason for everything…even if today I can not see what that reason is.

 2.  Seek support.  Ok, it is all well and good to know, “There is a valid reason…” but we still need support.  Call friends, family and if need be, professional support.  Even if we know somewhere inside, “there is a valid reason…” - we still are in pain and that must be attended to.  Just because you know you are learning and growing in this process, it does not lessen the very real agony of the experience.  The good news is – people do want to help, it’s a natural response.  When you see a friend or family member in acute pain, don’t you want to help? – do something, anything. 

 Allow your friends and family to “be there” for you – you may even be surprised by someone you never expected to show up in a way that heals not only your heart, but theirs as well.  Tragic/upsetting events often create opportunities for healing in ways you don’t expect or think even thought possible before the events were put into motion.  This is the “silver lining” we refer to after the tragedy passes.

 3.  Spiritual support.  Yes, when need the support of people, but even more – spiritual support.  It is a gift we chose to accept ourselves - in our own time.  Out of sheer desperation I found God in my twenties. 

I was absolutely broken-hearted after ending a six year relationship and in chronic pain from a car accident.  Everyday would find me in tears, smoking too much pot and grasping for anyone/anything to make it better.  One Sunday, I found my way alone to church.  I was not raised in a church – in fact the opposite, as my Mom described herself as a “recovering catholic.”

I had never been to this church before and I’m not sure what the service was about as, but I do remember I wept throughout.  I couldn’t stop.  I just felt like somewhere inside I came home.  As the pastor spoke, she silently invited each one of us to know God not only by the words she uttered, but by her very presence.  This woman was peace - a beacon calling to a new life.

She spoke of a loving God who was with you always.  The words were a balm for my hurts and I could feel myself calm from the inside.  I breathed again.  Then we sang hymns, ones I had never heard before and suddenly I was singing the words, “Resting in the palm of God’s Hand,” and I was.

In that moment, I understood - I am never alone.  I looked at the shining faces around me and saw pure joy.  “Joy,” not pleasure derived from buying or attaining something, but joy - the glorious shimmering of your soul in the fullness of life.  This was a place for me, resting in the palm of God’s hand.

Today I still use this imagery over and over whenever I feel lost, or out of balance.  Sometimes, as you grow up, you discover you have to release certain beliefs you were taught as a child.  I know this lesson of “There is no God, you have to do it all,” was taught to me with the best of intentions – survival.   However, it crippled my life.  I had become obsessed with control or truly, the illusion of control and the idea I had to do it all myself – I was alone.

I am not saying you have to go to church to find God or a higher power, however titled, what I am suggesting is to find connection to something greater then self.  Maybe for you this happens in nature or art, but somehow to view yourself in partnership with the world around instead of in battle.  Once you establish connection to something greater then self, you are able to detach and really witness the events – maybe I am supposed to be learning something here instead of beating myself up about the unfairness (yes, sometimes life isn’t fair…) of it all? 

4.  Courage.  I would love to be able to say something magical that could make all the bad things go away…Well, all I’ve got is a message of courage.  Not condescending, “It will get better with time,” or “I’m so sorry for your pain,” but courage. 

I say “courage” in the full knowledge that the answer you seek as you walk through this difficult time, already rests inside you now.  Be still and listen, maybe even meditate.  For in that stillness your strength will come, and manifest a change in your life.  Be still and listen.  So be it.

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” - Winston Churchill

Listen to this short, guided meditation to identify and remove a specific block in your life today.  Let me know if you have any questions.

Trade some of your Reason for Wonder… This weekend, the big Forth of July in the States, trade some of your reason for wonder.  Give people the benefit of the doubt.  Play like a child again.  Lay on the grass, right under the fireworks so you can feel the vibration thoughout your body as they explode in the sky above. 

 Eat a huge ice cream cone that drips down your hand.  Roll your pants up and dip your toes in the cold, cold stream.  Maybe even toss a few stones in the water and watch the ripples expand.  Go on a picnic and don’t forget the watermelon. 

 Play like a child again and take a break from your problems and worries – don’t worry they will still be there waiting for you on Monday, but this Forth of July – join your friends to celebrate peace and the freedom to pursue happiness wherever it may lead…