It took me months to open this book and I am glad I finally did.  I had picked it up in the Spring to read on vacation, but then I lost interest for awhile.  I had been scared off after re-reading the part about her Mother dying young on the back cover teaser…The story seemed more depressing then uplifting. 

 But somehow it traveled to the beach with me this summer and thank goodness, as The Ice Queen is a perfect beach read; light, thoughtful and surprising.  What surprised me about the book were the intriguing characters and plot twists.  The characters were complicated; no one is black and white.  Each of us has hidden parts that may shock those around us – “If they only knew…” we wonder silently. 

 I have always been drawn to plots where the world sees one thing and reality is so much stickier.  I like it because it reminds me to think in tones of gray.  To remember that there is a completely unknown back-story behind each person that motivates their behaviors every day.  The message to me is always the same – sometimes it is not about you.

 The narrator of the story is often seen jumping to hysterical conclusions as displayed when she spies on her sister-in-law late one night returning library books, or why her lover only wants to make love in the dark, or even the cause of her mother’s death.  The narrator’s inability to see beyond her own self-contempt blurs her perception of events – everyone doesn’t like her, she has no friends, she causes death…

 Surprisingly she does have friends and those who care for her, but she can not see it because of her own self-loathing.  Since she has not learned to take care of herself, she can not take care of her friendships or even a positive relationship with her brother.  The narrator transcends her hurts finally by stopping her self-punishment.  Unfortunately and of course, tragic events must unfold for the narrator to finally make peace with the past.

 However, a satisfying peace is made and lessons can be gleaned by any reader about perception and reality.  It is often a bit of both that creates the moments of your life, for better or worse…   

Does your relationship feel stuck?  Going through the same patterns over and over?  Bored?  Read Passionate Marriage.  My husband and I just finished reading this life-changing book.  I’m serious – life-changing, however – not for the fate of heart.  This book is blunt with a capital “B.”

 Schnarch believes the dynamics of your relationships, for better or worse, are displayed in your sexual behaviors (i.e. who wants what, frequency, satisfaction…)  Thus what’s happening or not happening in the bedroom, is just another stage for the “real issues” of your relationship – trust, deserving, respect, etc. 

 Maybe you think you and your partner “can’t communicate anymore,” Schnarch explains how you are in fact very much communicating and how, why, when…There are about 4 or 5 couples he follows through their “time in the crucible.”  The whole concept of emotional fusion and self-soothing was keenly beneficial to not only my relationship with my husband but with everyone else in my life.

 This is a must read!

Looking for something to do this weekend?  Go see the movie “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and enjoy the laughs.  I can honestly say I howled watching this movie.  In the opening scene when the main character Peter Bretter is getting dumped and stands there with all his bits and pieces bare for all the world to see – oh my god.  I definitely squirmed in my seat.

When I go to the movies I like to be entertained by some adventurous story or laugh.  This was the laughing movie.  The characters were all sympathetic and real.  Don’t expect anything too heavy and be surprised as you giggle uncontrollably throughout…And they go to Hawaii - who doesn’t like listening to IZ and the beach?

This is a “chick” book and I loved it.  If you’re twenty-two or seventy-two, you will find yourself reflected back in the characters of this book.  Each character has there own separate voice that sometimes, as in life, strays from the ideal we each set in our minds… 

Actually this is my favorite part of the book…viewing the prism each character interprets their experience and how this certain prism impacts the “truth.”  We see the surface of behaviors and then pull back the curtain to discover “the hurts” driving each character. 

 While I read, I was reminded that each of us can only view the other in part, much is hidden.  It is the hidden parts that must be revealed and brought out into the light for peace to be found…As in the main character Georgia’s stubborn, proud attitudes that kept her from opening letters her lover’s, James, sent years before.  How often to do each of us create upsetting events, even words in our minds that never come to pass?   

 These characters are sometimes frustrating in their self-sabotage, but isn’t that the truth of it?  Isn’t each of us truly our own worst critic?  Judge and jury?  Making assumptions based on our own fears and hurts instead of stepping back and viewing the full picture. 

 What helps to soften the self-sabotage is humor.  The book is funny and insightful.  The characters often poke fun at their own faults and of each other too.  It feels very natural and human. 

 Best of all, this book of complicated emotions and behaviors doesn’t end with your traditional happy ending.  Like life, it’s good and bad…and even sometimes, seemingly unfair.  Happy reading!   

I read this book on New Year’s Eve/Day and I was surprised.  My husband had given the book to me as a Christmas gift.  I had never heard of it before, but my husband has a way of knowing my heart – so I gave it a try…

 Interestingly, I really enjoyed the book when I read it and have referred several friends and clients to it, but now that I look at the book in hand – again, I’m surprised…Upon my first reading a couple months ago, I was fascinated by her many different techniques to bring intuition and spirit more present in you life.  I still am and think some techniques are very useful.

 However, as I look at the chapter titles, I remember nothing of her words, her beliefs.  Well, actually one part of her writing does stand out and always will – her discovered root meaning of the word magic is “to bring light to.”  Being also a lover of words and magic – this definitely resonated with me and gave her writing voice authority as I continued to read.

 I don’t think less of the book; I am just reminded that what is important will rise up.  Yes, now that I reflect further, she did reveal a bit about her life and how she came to her beliefs, but it is the techniques to incorporate magic into your daily life that is the importance of the writing.

 I encourage anyone interested in living a more magical life to read this book and even try out a few of her techniques – like me, you will be surprised. 

Who hasn’t heard all the hype surrounding this book – Oprah’s book.  Several of my friends and family have recommended it to me and reluctantly, I read.  I say reluctantly because I am not a big fan of reading journals.  I’m a prose-girl.  I have only found a few (David Sedaris, Dr. Beryl Markham, Anne Morrow Lindbergh…go to my resources page to get reviews/info) that have a voice that not only resonates with me, but doesn’t bore…She bores a little – do I really need to read about her urinary track infection, the drama of embarrassment and alternative healing?  I’m sorry this just isn’t that big of a deal – obviously no childbirth experience…

I went to see the movie the Golden Compass last week.  I have read all three books in the series with waning interest.  What began turning me off in the second and third books was his obvious and negative view of religion.  The books – instead of making me question religion and its role in society – I became repelled by his obvious dislike of all things holy.

 Now I get the complaints about religion – violence in the name of God, a way to control the masses…Heard it all before, even spilling from my own lips at times.  I too had a Mother who identified herself as a recovering Catholic and pretty much my entire childhood was shrouded in negative views of any church and of course, God.  However, I was still curious…I have always thought it a bit naïve to criticize something not fully examined. So as an adult I joined a several different Bible studies to discover the truth for myself.

 Surprise of all surprises, I discovered a living book that spoke to my life right now.  Interestingly, the first Bible study I did was with a fundamentalist Christian (I am most definitely not) because I wanted to challenge myself.

 We read the Gospel of Matthew and one day we were reading Jesus words about his message.  He discussed how men would use his message and twist it to there own meaning, however love was truly the center.  Amusingly, as we discussed this passage, we began to disagree.  My friend really believed if you don’t follow the bible (really a fundamentalist interpretation) then to hell you go…What did you not read the loving words of Jesus – ALL are welcome????  She really could not see an all-inclusive loving God and certainly no other interpretations of God through other religious books were acceptable.

 Personally, I don’t feel any religion has a lock on God.  God is for all of us no matter how you find him/her whether through meditation, nature, different religions, books, whatever.  My image of God is clearly displayed in the story of the Prodigal Son. 

The father, i.e. God, runs arms outstretched for his wayward child.  The son only needs to turn to his father, who has been looking down the road hoping to see his child return.  The father celebrates the return and even chastises his other son for being resentful of the celebration.  I so understood that other brother’s anger and then I realized the truth.  No matter what you have done, God is there, pouring out his love and calling you home. 

 I don’t have to be perfect to be in relationship with God.  I can stumble, I can fail.  It doesn’t matter, God still waits and longs for me – each of us no matter what.  That is power, that is love. 

 So as I read each book in Philip Pullman’s series, I became more repelled.  It malice and distain for religion became more clear with each page; evil angels, the Magisterium (in the Catholic Church, an actual board of power,) the issue of souls, etc.  Honestly, it smacks of an immature and fixated negative view of religion.  I really wonder if he has done any real challenging scholarship on spirituality and religion.  I get the feeling that Mr. Pullman has no respect for spirituality and actually has a “less-than” view of those who do.

In fact when I finished the last book all I could think was, “Wow, this is sad.  How depressing to be so cut off from the magic of life.  How can do you find peace?  So lonely.”  I can honestly say I have no desire to read anything by him again, because I just have no interest in witnessing material that pedals hate, separation from God and violence towards kids guised as a children’s book.  Yuck.  This seems to at least be something that could reserved for adult books. 

What do you think?