Mary’s Time

For some Christmas is about the presents, the big meals or even seeing old friends and family…but for me, this is Mary’s time. I adore Mother Mary. Through her, I have learned to be a better me. Oh sure, this may sound trite, even a touch phony – but it’s true.

I did not always feel this way. I struggled with Mother Mary for years. I didn’t understand how she could just stand by and watch Jesus die on the cross. How could she not throw herself before the soldiers shouting, “Take me, take me instead?” What kind of mother was she? With time, I discovered, she was the best kind of mother.

Years ago when my own son was in a very real health crisis, I came to know Mary’s heart. Mary loved her son. She loved Jesus so much that she was able to stand at the foot of the cross as he bled and bled. She remained with him to his very last breath when he finally cried out to his father above. Mary stayed close by. She believed in Jesus and his own separate purpose.

Was it difficult? Unimaginably painful, just ask any parent of a suffering child. Some parents can’t stay though the suffering. Some parents runaway or reject seeing their child in pain. But many, many more faithfully stay and look for cures. Still others find grace when there are no cures. And there in the shadows Mary waits too, grace and peace swirl at her feet.

For Mary stayed – at the birth, in the raising of her precious son, at the feasts of celebration and sadly, at the cross too. As far as we know she did not try to sway Jesus from his purpose, she loved him. She trusted his boyhood days that found him arguing with the rabbis in temple when he should have been in the fields. She trusted in his many trips to the desert when he would came back ablaze with the divine, overflowing with new ideas. Such radical new ideas of faith…yet she trusted Jesus.

She also trusted in the unseen divine that sometime requires much…Did she not know herself the cost? The sting of judgment? Pregnant and without a husband, forced out by her community. Mary knew all too well the cost of faith…

Mary has come to me many times throughout my life. I am unbelievably blessed to have such intimate moments with her. The first time I experienced the presence of Mary as an adult I was overwhelmed. My first thought was I am not worthy, there are more important people/problems than me. I felt her outpouring love even more keenly at that moment and the words, “You are my beloved child, nothing is more important” boomed in my mind.

Words can not properly express the magnitude of this moment for me. The best I can say is my life split – before I was alone and after, I was forever held. Not only did I realize that I was held but that everyone was being held by unseen forces at every moment. I saw ways in my own childhood that Mary’s presence had been there even though I couldn’t see it at the time.

Here’s the important part – bad things happened and I am still the beloved child. I’ve made peace with my past. Even though there were certainly hardships, I know I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them.

Again, this may sound trite, too easy an answer, but it’s true. Peace is usually standing right next to you, but only you can truly believe you are worthy to partake in the feast…You’ll have to stop beating yourself up, judging your own failings – real or imagined, you’ll have to allow yourself to come down from your own self-imposed cross into the waiting arms of peace. For Mary is waiting there, loving you just the way you are, patiently waiting for you to come home…

Merry Christmas

Come stroll with me through the Winter Wonderland…

Reading the Signs of the Season. Join us on Indie Spirit as we explore the symbols and meanings of the Winter Solstice, Yule Tide, Caroling, the Christmas tree and Santa Claus. Discover how this season is calling to you directly and offering rebirth – the Light is Returning, the Dark Days have been defeated again, REJOICE! Thurs, 11 am EST on Indie Spirit

You know this club. You can pick them out in any bar or social function. It’s the life is so-bad club. You can recognize the members because they are always talking about how hard things are. They never have enough time for themselves because of all the things they are doing for their kids, spouse, job, co-workers, boss, family, friends…However they DO have enough time to tell you how difficult things are, yet no solutions fall from their lips, just complaining words…

Not surprisingly each of us finds our way into this club at some time. We don’t usually intend to be a part of this club, but somehow the dynamics of a group or a single friendship deteriorates into this place. What began as voicing a concern, becomes a negative focus. Maybe the group begins whining about work or a friend complains about a sagging relationship, but it doesn’t stop there with letting off steam, it becomes relentless. It’s all you discuss – how bad it is…

When you discover yourself in this group – stop. Don’t blame anyone else, you got yourself here, now how to get out? Detach.

The reason you are in this negative dynamic now is because you feel power-less and you are stuck in a bad habit of thinking. For now, try to distance yourself from this group or friendship quietly and create some space for yourself. What are you afraid of? Are there solutions that you haven’t considered? Do you need a change?

Detachment may seem uncomfortable or even impossible for you, but do you really want to complain your life away? I think not. It could be the problem you are facing is too big for you to find your way through alone. Maybe you do need support, but it has to be healthy. You could try reaching out to a trusted friend or even someone like me, a life coach and begin setting goals to create the life you deserve. Instead of letting others or a group mentality keep you in a less-than place, make a different choice. For happiness is no far off shore, it’s closer then you think, just waiting for you to step into…

Along with the celebration of the holidays, can be almost unbearable sadness. The loss of loved ones is most keenly felt, for better or worse, during this season. Death is a topic each of us often avoids – like a dirty, little secret that if we just ignore it long enough, maybe it will go away. However it doesn’t…It just waits for each of us…death and taxes are about the only guarantees we’ve got.
I have a comfortable relationship with death. I believe in a Christian model, however, I also believe we come back over and over. Each of us has certain work to do in our lifetime along with the free will to realize that work or not. I believe most of the people involved in my life today, I have been with before in previous lives.
Several years ago my step-sister died. She died sadly – alone. At first there were hints of a suicide and that is what distressed me. I was worried her soul was lost and wandering – not knowing the grace that was available to her. I learned of her death on a Sunday night and that Monday I had already planned to visit a mentor to train on Mediumship.

So the next day I went to my mentor very upset – worried that somehow Nicky was lost. We set the space and called Nicky to us. Immediately she came in…she was so sad, but her first words were about suicide. It was not a suicide, but a mistake – she just wanted to feel better with a little more drugs, “just a little more.” That was Nicky. After she made the “no suicide message” clear, you could feel her sadness and she taught me about free will.

She had said in this life she thought she could do it – beat the addictions, but she couldn’t. She spoke of the love that was in her life always available (family and friends) but that she never accepted while she was alive. She helped me to understand each of us has choices. Nicky chose drugs over and over – she couldn’t help herself and that is when I found peace.

I understood each of us has our own “cross to bear.” Nicky didn’t choose the drugs because of any one person. No, this was her life, her choices and I could love her still. I remembered her as a child and making friends with everyone – she accepted each person as beautiful and interesting. This probably led to problems as an adult, but I know the very essence of Nicky’s soul is love – not perfect, but love all the same.

When we closed the session that day, I knew Nicky would be ok. I believed in her – her soul. I know her beauty and kindness will come back again and we will meet again. Maybe not in this lifetime, but I know she is never lost from me. She speaks with angels now, across the thin veil – healing her wounded places and biding her time until she comes back again…

Are you grieving? Have you suffered a loss? Are you looking to connect to the other side?  Join us on Indie Spirit, Thurs @ 11 am EST as we explore ‘Peace and the Other Side.’ It is a very thin line that separates us from those who have past. We can still connect to their spirits if we know how…Discover easy techniques to transcend this thin line.

Meditation.  Laughter.  Indie Music.  Peace.  Join us.

Are you looking to be happy? Maybe you wonder if it’s a place you just keep missing on the map? Here’s the thing, it’s not a destination, it’s more like a movable feast.

The definition of happiness changes. What you thought would make you happy years ago, often becomes a source of frustration later. You discover it’s in those middle moments that happiness really blooms. It’s in the imperfection.

You still chuckle about that rained out picnic so many summers ago or that unexpected late night card game with friends, wine and oh so many jokes…Happiness happens. It’s a feeling that grabs hold you and usually all those around you, if you allow it. It depends on flexibility, kindness and compassion. Something we all need a little bit more of each day.

Instead of looking for happiness today, I invite you to let it happen. When this day unfolds, with its ups and downs, respond with flexibility, kindness and compassion. You will be amazed how in the most unexpected of moments – happiness blooms.

I love Christmas music. From the trite to the spiritual hymns, it all makes me happy. Below are suggestions to add some new tunes to your own musical library…and even what to skip…

Saddest Song – Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, Judy Garland. Her voice just aches, so good.

Coolest Song – I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm, Dean Martin. Hip and unbelievably cool. I want to be fireside with Dean…

Most Fun – Donde esta Santa Claus? Guster. Mamasita, where is Santa Claus? Love it.

Most Feel Good – Winter Wonderland, Rosemary Clooney. Happy, happy music.

Best Drummer Boy – Do you Hear What I Hear? Martin Sexton. Sweet and strong. His voice and arrangement will you singing all day…

Best Jingle Bells – Sammy Davis Jr. Obviously.

Best Swing – I Believe, Frank Sinatra. Me and Frank – we believe in wishing wells and Santa Claus…

Naughty in the Best Sense of the Word – Maybe Next Year, Meiko. Breathy and delicious.

Best Surprise – Just Like Christmas, Low. Bittersweet, just like Christmas…

Best New Song – Winter Song, Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson. Haunting and gorgeous. December never felt so long…

Most Disappointing CD – Harry for the Holidays, Harry Connick, Jr. For all practical purposes this should work, but it doesn’t. He sounds phony and over-produced. Skip it.

Worst Song – White Christmas, Katy Perry. Screeching and off-key. Can’t believe it made its way onto a CD…

Best Instrumental CD – Celtic Christmas ’06. Penny whistles and hymns = lovely background music.

Best Get in the Spirit Song – It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas, Bing Crosby. Enough said.

Happy Listening!