Years ago my father introduced me to a tradition that was able to bring peace into our relationship.  My parents divorced when I was about ten years old and my Dad moved south, far away from me.  We really didn’t speak often as my parents had one of those horrendous divorces.  I probably saw him a half a dozen times before heading to college in Burlington, VT.

 Needless to say, we did not have much in common and frankly, I kept myself slightly aloof from him as he left long ago…During college he began making attempts to be a part of my life.  He would take me skiing with my boyfriend, send money finally and call more often.   

One memorial weekend he asked me if I would like to do the graves with him.  Strangely enough that was one place we both liked to go – cemeteries.  We both liked wandering around old graveyards reading headstones and admiring the artistry of the marble works.   

 My Dad grew up in Middlebury, VT.  Most of that side of the family still lives there and our relatives are buried in several different cemeteries in the area.  I agreed, although not really knowing what I was getting into.  He picked me up early that Sunday morning and I looked in the backseat to see all kinds of supplies – gardening tools, cups and to my surprise, chilled champagne. 

 We began chatting about where we were going first and my Dad started telling stories.  He loves telling stories, but this time the stories were of friends he had lost in Vietnam, Uncles wounded in WWII and scandalous adventures of my family I never knew.  I laughed, really laughed and I saw my father for the first time as more than the man that left.

 He was flawed certainly, but he was trying.  Trying to become a family again.  I saw for the first time how young he was when my parents got married and I found compassion that was not there before. 

 At each grave we cleared away the weeds, and planted pansies and marigolds.  We offered champagne toasts and funny stories to those long gone.  Quietly, without knowing when, a gentle peace had slipped into my Dad and my relationship.

 I finally had come to love my father again.  I realized wasn’t abandoned any longer.  I had found my way back to him and this family through the memories and stories of those long past.  That day, together, we found peace again in pansies and laughter.  This peace has made all the difference and I am grateful. 

Happy Memorial Day!  May peace find each of us.

Most of us don’t start from a place of radical trust – you have to get there on your own.  Often it is a crisis that brings you to radical trust – to the place of, “Hell, what have I got to lose?”

And that is where the magic happens.  You begin to flow.  New people show up, doors that were once closed open again, opportunities manifest suddenly and you discover Spirit had been there all along.  Just waiting to for you to stop struggling and follow the opening doors…Trust.

Has it been one of those days?  Could you use a change in attitude?  Would you like to be grinning like the village idiot?  You need a dance break!

Pop in the new Phoenix CD, Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix, and listen to the first three songs, Lisztomania, 1901 and Fences.  The music has quirky lyrics, throbbing beats with a kind of an 80s electric vibe.  It’s happy, summer music.  Don’t forget Lasso, Girlfriend and Armistice as well.  Enjoy!

5. Drive.  Do you have the drive to meet your goals?  Here’s the thing, we all have dreams, but can you transform them into reality?  Or do you find excuses, reasons why your dreams are deferred?  Is it someone else’s fault?  Are there responsibilities standing in your way?

Frankly, those excuses are crap.  Each of us is responsible for our own happiness.  Yes, duties, jobs, bills and family may complicate things – seemingly standing in your way, but no.  The delays, the discomfort force you to witness the truth – this isn’t working.  Instead of trying the same strategies over and over, I invite you to try something different – what is your dream?  How would you like your life to feel?  Now, what is one step you can take towards that dream today?

Do you need to change your attitude?  Do you need to stop taking life so personally and just do what needs to be done?  What stops you?

For some like myself, anger helps me connect to drive.  If anyone tells me, “No, you won’t be good at that,” you can pretty much guarantee my success.  But for others, any negative words keep them locked down – they don’t want to fail or be seen failing.  It’s safer not to try.

A variation of one of my all-time favorite quote is, “Screw your courage to its sticking place and do.”  Each of us has to discover our own unique sticking place.  Maybe the pain of a situation makes you move on; maybe it’s in the doubts of others; maybe it’s frustration; maybe it’s God…

It is not that the fear isn’t present when you do act, it’s that you do it anyway because you must.

4.  Support.  How is your to-do’s list?  Pretty long?  Do you feel overwhelmed and unappreciated?  Can you just not get out of your own way sometimes?  Are you happy?  Do you have fun?  Most importantly, have you asked for help?

Each of us needs help, yet very few of us are good at asking for it.  You want to do it yourself.  You don’t want to bother or inconvenience others.  You worry about what people might think.  The result is you fall deeper into the quagmire.  You become exhausted and resentful, however you and you alone are responsible for getting to this place.

Stop with your denials, exclaims and pointing fingers at family, kids, duty, whatever…I’m not buying it.  In your mind you may have this idea that if you ask for help, it’s a sign of weakness or failure – wrong.  I see it as a sign of strength.  (Now I’m not talking about going overboard in this direction as well – balance.)  It’s the development of discernment – what is mine to fix and what is not. 

Support comes in many forms – spouses, friends, life coaching, support groups, books, therapists, online, religion…It is all around you, so there are no excuses of access.  You may choose to see them as for somebody else, but all that opinion really achieves is keeping you down.

Hence, back to you, do you need support?  And whom could you ask today to help?

3.  Intuition.  Do you listen to your hunches?  When you get that feeling – do you follow it?  Do you look for signs?  Intuition is directly linked to faith.  Intuition just takes faith one-step further – it becomes a two-way street, spirit helps YOU. 

I had a minister that used to say intuition is the whispering of God’s voice directly to you.  I like that.  It speaks to my belief that God wants each of us to be happy and to live gorgeous, abundant lives.  It’s a partnership.

The stumbling block is often understanding the messages or even seeing the signs in the first place.  There are no direct phone lines to spirit – it’s more complicated.  The messages can be confusing, but more often than not, you are the problem.  The truth, or the intuitive message that is staring at you seems too hard, so you deny it.  That’s the easy part, denying it.

Usually intuition doesn’t involve a flaming bush or an old man with tablets.  It’s a knowing.  It’s hearing in the spaces between the words.  You can’t explain why you know something – it’s just true.  Hence the choice is yours to either enhance your life with your own intuition, or ignore the gift.  Ignoring seems easier somehow.

Unfortunately it has been my experience that spirit starts with a tap on the shoulder to get your attention, but invariably applies more and more strain to get you to see the full picture. 

Look at your life right now – is there some truth you are trying to avoid?  Could you let go and ask for help?  What is your intuition trying to tell you?  Listen.

2.  Faith.  What is faith?  Simply, to know you are always held; you are not alone, support is always available.  The support may not be seen at this moment, but it is there, waiting for you. 

Therefore when trouble comes and it will, it’s faith that helps you hold on ‘til morning.  Yes, life will flow with its ups and downs, but what do you do when tragedy beats a path to your door?  Do you roll with the waves or clutch onto whatever looks solid?  Do fears force you into decisions that are not good for you?

Quickly in life, you discover fear eats faith.  Fear is such an easy commodity to pedal too.  A well placed word, a frightened look; it’s an easy emotion to trigger in others…and most especially, in you.  I once heard a quote about fear; ‘fears are the dragons that keep you from your dreams.’  What fears keep you from realizing your dreams?  Will you have enough?  Money?  Love?  Support?

However if faith answers the door to fear’s call, fear disappears.  But I can’t give you faith.  It’s a gift you choose to give to yourself when either all else fails or you have some kind of spiritual awakening.  What I can do is invite you to open the door to more…

So today ask spirit for support.  Ask for direct and clear guidance to be revealed to you today about a specific issue you need help with.  Now here’s your part – watch for it and listen.  Chances are humor will be used; so remember not to take yourself too seriously.  And listen, really listen, don’t let the ‘doubting Thomas’ inside of you think yourself out of the message…Can you accept the gift?  The message?  The support?

For many folks, happiness feels like some far off place, for someone else, but it waits for you.  If you are struggling to connect to deep happiness from within, I invite you to examine five different areas in your life today.  Maybe you will discover where you stumble and possibly block happiness unwittingly…

1.      Inner dialog

2.      Faith

3.      Intuition

4.      Support

5.      Drive

1.  Inner dialog, or more specifically, what you say to yourself all day long.  Do you encourage yourself or tear yourself down?  Here’s the rub, you are interpreting your life every moment.  What you focus on becomes your life.  If you have a negative attitude, it frames all your beliefs.  Hence if you think life is hard, guess what?  Life is going to be hard. 

So first, examine your inner dialog.  Do you point out faults in others or yourself?  Do you look for solutions?  Do you learn from your mistakes or do you keep repeating them?  Do you ask anyone repeatedly if you look fat and/or attractive?  Any bells ringing?

If so, you are looking on the outside for a better way, instead of within.  Our life is created by our thoughts; how we think about people, places, our childhoods, ourselves, our families, our success…If you change your thoughts, things change. 

Instead of thinking you are trapped in a pattern, a relationship, a job, a car, debt, whatever…I encourage you to look again and ask yourself, What For?  What do I need to do today to move into balance?  How can I follow my dream?  What one step can I make today?

Tomorrow we shall look at 2. Faith.

It was just before midnight and I was driving home from the airport, alone.  As I pulled onto the deserted highway I looked at my gas gauge, two blocks full.  That’s strange I think, my husband always puts enough gas in the car if I am taking it to the airport.  It’s a brand new car, but he must know and I want to get home.  Five minutes later the low fuel light comes on and now there is half a block glowing on the gas gauge.

What???  First thought, perfect ending to my girls’ trip, are you kidding me?  There are no gas stations anywhere.  I am on a secluded highway with very few exits leading to nowhere.  Yep, raped on the last day of vacation, great.   I call my husband to yell at him, this has got to be someone else’s fault.

Through a confused and heated exchange, my husband guides me through complicated button pushing to discern I have 17 miles of gas left, yet 32 miles to my home.  Houston we have a problem. 

Ok, I’ll get off at the next major highway turn and hope there is a quick gas exit.  I am in the middle of nowhere.  Truckers flying by one after another. 13 miles of gas left, more yelling at my husband.

Finally I see an exit, there’s a Costco, home depot, but no gas station can I see.  Nine miles left, panic rising, I take the exit.

As I drive up to the exit ramp, I am freaking out, and then it hits me, Kelly, what the hell are you doing freaking yourself out?   You know you are divinely held, relax, call for Archangel Michael, relax, and through clenched teeth I say, I am fine.  Fake ‘til you make it is my motto…

Suddenly on the radio I here the words, “Have a little faith in Me,” over and over.  You know that John Hiatt song, which I don’t even like, but over and over I hear, “Have a little faith in me” and I am thinking relax, Kelly, it’s all ok.  Help please.  Where’s the help?

Just then a police car drives up next to me.  Thank you God!  I flag him down and we pull to the side of the road.  He comes over to tell me directions and although normally he would lead me there, he can’t just now as he has a prisoner with him…do you hear the chuckling God?

I have eight miles of gas left, the officer believes I should make it but he will have another squad car run the route just in case.  Great.

He walks back to his car and I think sarcastically, I love directions, I get lost in a paper sack.  Fan-friggin-tastic.  Pull it together Kelly, you’re held, remember you’re held.  I hear the music then, Latin music coming from the radio.  How did that happen?  I never touched the station.  And suddenly I’m laughing again; the Latin music is about the future.  Smiling, I feel comforted and drive on; it’s got to be just ahead.

Four miles later, on the right, just as he said, there was the gas station.  A SHELL station, I laugh again, I had been thinking about shells all day.  On the beach that morning, as I packed my bag, and most importantly as I dreamed of the future…another reminder.

I filled up with gas and got back onto the road.  I felt myself begin to panic with the ‘what if’s’ of worst-case scenario thinking – what could have happened.  Kelly, relax.  I laughed again and I was grateful.  These past twenty minutes have foreshadowed the future.  Yes, at times I will feel lost.  Worried I will run out of gas…but I have faith.  All matter of things will be well, I just have to remember I am divinely held and look for the help when I need it.  So be it!

Today I stumbled onto two women’s stories about faith, God and the truth. These two women are remarkable and standing firmly in their faith – held by love. Two divine daughters both tested by circumstances beyond their control. And both found peace through surrender…

It is not WHY ME?, the question is WHAT FOR?

I invite you to witness their answers…

Chely Wright

Stephanie Nielson

Such courage is celebrated from on high! Joy and Praise Be! Let the truth ring out and set you free…