I have always been a supporter of Ted Kennedy.  I’m from New England, Irish, liberal and out-spoken – he fit.  What I didn’t know was how great the man was and I believe this was a direct result of not only the tragedies that stuck his family but of his own failings. 

 Instead of turning inward, Kennedy responded to tragedy after tragedy with love, joy and light.  I was amazed at how well Kennedy treated his naysayers.  Frankly, I was inspired to be more compassionate, and to suffer the slings and arrows with just a bit more humor.

 I watched pretty much the entire tribute – it truly was a perfect Irish wake/funeral/burial.  Tears, tall tales and God.  From John Culver’s sailing adventure with Ted that had me falling off the sofa laughing so hard to the story of Kennedy spreading dirt over a grave in Israel.  I was completely and utterly moved by this man, his life, his faith, his good works and the love he held for his family, friends and the least among us. 

 Perfectly, my Dad called on Saturday late to review the services.  I knew he would be watching – just like me.  For as Chris Dodd so honestly spoke – Irish love the funerals.  We discussed the letter to the pope – both of us noted how Kennedy acknowledged his imperfect life, but through his faith and work he tried to right his path.

 Our conversation meandered to our own family, and my father, for the first time, copped to his own short-comings when he and my Mom were married.  Sure he had said he wasn’t perfect, but he really acknowledged how bad he was and how ashamed he was of that time.  He can’t look back and I agree. 

 I am grateful for his acknowledgment of the past, but I believe in moving forward.  I believe it is the energy that you put into each of your present moments that drives your life today.  For each of us will fall off the path, that is given.  It is how we choose to continue after the fall that builds the character of person. 

 May flights of angels carry you home Ted Kennedy, bless you.

Fall is a time of Harvest – a time of plenty…and it can also be a time of fear.  Fear of failure, fear of not enough.  Do you have enough to get you through the long winter?  Enough money and resources?  Enough love?  Enough light before the long slumber of winter draws ever-near?

 One of my favorite kids book is Frederick.  Frederick is a mouse. Instead of gathering food for winter like the other mice, Frederick gathers stories, sunbeams and fairy kisses.  He brings the light in the darkest hour when tummies rumble and hope is all but lost that Spring will ever bloom again.  In that hour, Frederick reminds them of sunbeams and dancing dragon flies.  He brings them to cool, trickling streams and fresh beds of new grass. Summer is born again within the nest, even as the storm swirls on above…

 What adventures and pictures have you tucked away to remind you of warmer days in winter?   There is still time yet to gather sunbeams and daydreams to keep you company for your long winter’s nap.  After all, Harvest is here. 

I jumped on the Mad Men bandwagon this weekend.  I’m completely hooked.  I love the characters.  Each one has secrets, often behaving badly in one way or another only to shine a day later.  We witness the dregs and glory of each character as they struggle in quiet desperation – a desperation that is all too familiar our own lives. 

 Each of us struggles with moments of ‘quiet desperation.’  Sometimes these moments may stretch into how your life feels all the time.  It may seem like the grass is in fact greener over there on a different lawn or possible on that road not taken.  But that is an illusion that leads only to chaos – just watch Mad Men.

 The main character Don Draper is that illusion.  This man is miserable – on the inside, but all the world sees is someone irresistible.  Women want him and men want to be like him – yet he is lost.  He is desperate to feel – anything - to get into his own life.  Yet he can not - he tries with booze, work, success and many, many women to fill the ever-expanding emptiness within, but he is still empty.  In fact, more empty, for when he looks into the eyes of his daughter or son he knows each day he is less the man he wanted to be…Good stuff!!!

 It is easy to believe the person down the street or even in the next cubicle has it so much better than you, but that is just a myth.  Each of us struggles with our own brand of quiet desperation – maybe you cling to a past that needs to be let go, or hold to an idea of how it is supposed to look, or maybe something is ‘not enough’…

 I encourage you to stop looking over the fence and be where you are.  Forgive yourself for whatever failures or transgressions you have made, real or imagined - let go of the past.  Today is a new day and maybe, just maybe you will discover your own backyard is pretty nice place to be.   

Learn how to return your focus to yourself.  Summer has an outward energy – more socializing, more sunlight, more extroverted activities and sometimes we can get caught up in this other-seeking in strange ways.  Possibly blaming others for problems or looking to the outside for answers instead of within.  Fall is a great reminder to return the focus back to you.  The air is getting a bit crisper, propelling us both physically and figuratively inside. 

 Ask yourself are you too involved in the lives of others instead of what’s going on in yours?  Are you waiting for someone or something to act thus transforming your life or so you think?  Guess what?  It’s time to get your power back by returning the focus back to you and here’s how…

Everywhere the debate on health care is being held – lots of shouting and exaggerating on all sides.  Frankly it is disgusting some of the lies being spread to ‘win’ the day – Nazis and death panels.  To be sure, this is insulting to all those touched by WWII in the very least.

 Beyond the lies, I am stunned by the Republican stance on this debate and its hypocrisy.  This party that wraps itself in the mantle of the morality and Christianity does not want to help the least among us.  Why?  Because who would pay?  Not me, says the Republican party.   UUuuuum, did they not read the bible or go to ethics class for this mantle they wear? 

 The phrases, ‘I am my brother’s keeper,’ or ‘the last shall be first’ are not just some nice words.  It is the truth and foundation of Christianity and every time they deny the least among us, they walk away from the God they claim to honor.  The shiny, golden bull draws them away…  

 What I hear tumbling from their lips is ‘not enough.’  There is ‘not enough’ money, debate, discussion, time, options, inclusion, exclusion…on and on the naysayers rail on stalling reform. 

 Let’s deal with the facts – according to the World Health Organization rankings of the world’s health care, U.S. is 37^th, between Costa Rica and Slovenia.  France and Italy top the list.  You know those countries we like to ridicule as being so silly. 

 We are 37^th.  Isn’t that statement alone enough to make you think – what is going on here in the richest country on earth that we can’t take care of ourselves better????  Something is amiss…

Be still and know I am.

Be still and know I.

Be still and Know.

Be Still.

Be.

The other day as I ate lunch in a café and two tables over sat a new couple.  The man was in his fifties with a sleek, fit physique and a silly soul patch on his chin.  His date – attractive, late twenties, yoga attired leaned in for a kiss.  Not a daughter kiss, but a real lingering kind.  I shuttered, ugh, get a room.

 Ok, yes, I might sound cruel, maybe a bit, but let me explain, I was that idiot girl dating too old men in my twenties.  I loved them, perfect dates – gentlemen, paid for everything.  We went to cool places and I was still an idiot.  Every stupid, idiotic “what-not-to-do” when dating mistake I have ever made happened while dating older men. 

 These are some of my favorites, “Oh no I don’t mind that you are two hours late, just calling now, to explain the business meeting rolled into supper so you wouldn’t be coming over after to all,” or “Sure, I like hot, burn the insides of your mouth food,” or “I know you were too busy with work/your kids to buy me a present for my birthday” and the capper, “of course, I understand you just had to sleep with your old lover when you were in China on business, thanks for your honesty…And since we’re being honest, I also slept with someone while I was in Ireland.”  True story, and happily the relationship crumbled after my statement of a ‘doormat no longer.’

 Every time I think of these stories I can not stop laughing – what was I thinking?  Who replaced the redhead when I wasn’t looking?  And then I recall where I was in my life at that time, I was sad.  I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship, heartbroken and penniless.  I was looking for someone to take care of me and here comes the divorced parade of forty-somethings.  I was easy pickings for awhile - I can’t deny it.  We all gained though – we were just borrowing. 

 These men were borrowing my youth, dare I say my ‘awe’ of them.  They had the answers – knew more, jez, they lived longer after all 15-20 years my senior.  Hence I let them lead without a word really…well, at least until Ireland then all bets were off again. 

 While I dated them, I was borrowing security, support, and honestly, escaping into another world.  I was playing house in some ways and then suddenly, it’s just was not that fun any more.  I didn’t want to borrow security from anyone and I certainly didn’t want to follow for the rest of my days. 

 The concept of borrowing was further emphasized when I read David Schnarch’s The Passionate Marriage where he discusses this borrowing phenomenon in all long-term couples. 

 So, as I glance over and see the overt signs of borrowing, I am also reminded of the three fingers pointing back at me.  What am I borrowing from my husband today?  Is it helping me or hurting me????

This book by Chris Bohjalian is haunting, brutal and fiercely honest.  Set in Europe during the waning days of World War II, a tale of love, growth and the grim realities of war unfolds.  The story is woven together by a variety of alternating characters, slipping in and out of different scenes as the plot requires.

 I liked this aspect of the novel, yet I wanted more of the characters.  I liked them, with their good and bad qualities for all to see.  How many German families went along with things?  To survive?  Perhaps even to thrive?  To protect their own families?  And truly, who could have ever imagined a plot so vicious could really be happening, even down the lane?

 When I read stories of WWII, I wonder what would I do?  Would I risk the safety of my own family to protect the condemned?  Surely in those initial moments I would protect, but would I continue – as the risks and fears mounted?  As I witnessed the punishment of those caught, could I continue? 

 This book reveals the flaws of men without judgment – surprisingly, for it would be easy to caste all Germans as bad, Jews as just victims, and war crimes like murder and rape as facts instead of indicators of boiling rage.  An eye for an eye, even if the victim had nothing to do with the initial crime…

 Bohjalian creates characters and scenes that stay with you long after the final page has been turned.  And for me, that is a sign of a good book – it gets me thinking, expanding the horizons to include not just the pretty places, but all places in the drama of life.