Sometimes life demands periods of waiting – maybe waiting on news be it health, a job, a new house or apartment…maybe you are in the midst of a transition or shift and there is much about this situation that is beyond your control.  Perhaps you perceive yourself as powerless – but are you?  Discover some tips to waiting and living your life…

This book was recommended to me by a clerk in a bookstore.  I think it is his go-to suggestion for that thirty-something Mommy he believes is looking for a little more…Unfortunately, although I fit the type – not it.

 I liked the first third of the book fine and then her father also got sick – and that is where she lost me.  I immediately stopped liking her.  Absolutely I had compassion from her desperate place, but I (like her family too) was unbelievably annoyed and frustrated by her behavior. 

 Yes, I understand, she is sick and it is much easier to worry/obsess about someone else then to deal with her own fears, but that is my problem.  Where are her discovered coping skills?  Where does she face her own fears about illness?  What has she learned except she is still happily in the middle place?

 There was no awakening in this book – just the facts, sometimes presented with humor, but no lessons learned about why, how or what if?  It reminds me a little of Eat, Pray, Love – the central female voice is put in these sympathetic situations yet instead of shining through with grace, the dregs of ego break through with selfish fits and accusations.  Both women do what all of us do when faced with crisis – we become children.  We get mad, throw fits, become irritable, make accusations, blame others…and after awhile, maybe five minutes to never, our adult self steps in.  Where is Ms. Corrigan’s adult self? 

 When I finished the final page, my first thought was, What the hell was that?  What is she imparting except cancer just happens and gratitude for her wonderful father to still be alive so she can stay in the middle place of being a parent yet still being parented to by parents…Do yourself a favor and skip it. 

I love Spring and it also makes me a little nuts.  I like to remind myself and all my client of the many faces of Spring right about now…Yes, Spring tends to be a time of new beginnings and opportunities, but also there is the tilling of the earth…or more personally, chaos in your life.

 Think of a seed bursting open in springtime and driving it’s seedling to the sunlight above – it takes a lot of energy, a violent force of nature really.  In Eastern medicine – the season of Spring is connected to your liver and anger.  So what this suggests is people struggle with liver, urinary and issues around anger more during this time of year.  Just like all the seasons, there are wonderful opportunities for growth and transformation, but Spring holds a dizzying balance of new beginnings and endings…Joy mingled with loss.

 Are you struggling with feeling of rage or anxiety this Spring?  Is there a nervous energy of possibility clinging to you?  Feeling a bit overwhelmed or out of balance?  Here are five quick things you can do today to support yourself during the Springtime…

 1.       Water.  Drink more water.  Go for walks in the rain if possible.  Intentionally bathe more or spend time in a body of water – the ocean is best, but a good salt water bath is a great alternative.   

2.       Clean out a drawer, closet, or room.  The best way to attract more into your life is to purge the things you no longer need.

3.       Eat fresh fruit.  When you eat only processed foods, you disconnect from the earth.  Maybe this is the year for that vegetable garden you have been dreaming of?  Lettuce and peas are ridiculously easy to grow…

4.       Laugh.  Nothing changes energy faster then good humor.  Call a friend or read a funny book to connect to that light place again.  Sometimes the most chaotic and stressful situations are absolutely ripe with humor if you can just get a lighter point of view…

5.       Meditate…Spend a few quiet minutes each day focusing on what you DO want your life to look like.  Just anytime you have couple extra minutes, close your eyes and see this Spring unfolding the way you desire – be it with a new job, or maybe a health transformation, or a new awakening of love, whatever, just that you are focusing your energies on what you DO want instead of negatively responding to what you don’t want. 

 Happy Spring…The blooms are coming…

May you discover your own pot of gold lay just under the melting snowing and blooming tulips… 

Started reading at 9am and was done by 3pm – fantastic beach read.  Hot sun?  Who cares.  In Just One Look by Harlan Coben you quickly become lost in a twisting plot of murder and mayhem with a liberal dash of humor.  A back review stated, you only put this book down to deadbolt the doors and windows.  Absolutely true – so I suggest reading in broad daylight, preferable in a public place as Eric Wu could be anywhere… 

Off to the beach for sun, bikinis, diving and umbrella drinks.  Hence will be out of contact until the 16^th…

May peace and sunshine find you wherever you are…

Last week I discussed with my acupuncturist the ‘same’ argument my husband and I have every time he travels for an extended period.  My acupuncturist said to me, “It’s about vulnerability.”

 “I get that.  That’s the problem, I am being vulnerable and he runs away,” I reply justified.

 “No, no that’s not it.  It means you have to be ok with HIS fears, his vulnerabilities, when he is scared.  Vulnerability is not about just you.  It’s both of you.”

 “Oh, you got me, I don’t like it when his is scared.  I just want him to pull it together…”

 Aha, I get it now.  It’s those damn three fingers pointing back at me as I point at my husband!  I want my husband to support me when I am upset, but do I really allow that space for my husband?  Sometimes. 

 When I am feeling strong and confident I can provide that space, but still I do not like to see his vulnerabilities.  I like thinking of him as strong and empowered.  When he shows up less then this, it irrationally bothers me because it triggers me into thinking, I am unsafe.  Notice it triggers me into thinking I am unsafe, not that I really am unsafe.

 Understanding this difference allows me to be a better partner and empowers me.  When you are pointing your finger at the other, you give your power away as someone else is to blame and supposed to fix this for you.  UUmmm, how does this empower you?  Yes, it feels good to point at the other and blame, but does it solve your issue?  No, it leads to the ‘same’ arguments again and again and again. 

 So I ask you, “Are you ok with your partner’s vulnerabilities – really?”  If not, something to look at…   

Feeling overwhelmed?  Stressed?  Try this short guided meditation to stop a whirling mind and sink into peace…

One of my favorite stories is of the man who fell into the ocean and prayed to be saved…Along came a log, but he didn’t grab it because he was sure God would rescue him…Soon a floating, discarded cooler passed by, but he let it pass as God was going to save him…Then a partially inflated tubing tire appeared, but he still let it pass because God was going to save him.  It was about this time, he drowned.

 At the pearly gates, Peter inquired, “Why didn’t you take the help that was offered?”

 Incredulously the man said, “What help?  I prayed and prayed, assured God would save me and here I am.  No boat, nothing.”

 Peter smiled and said, “Did you not see the log?  The cooler?  The tire?”

 Moral: help comes in many forms – be open, be flexible, be ready.