Recently a new door has appeared – an unexpected opportunity now lay on the horizon.  Unfortunately, at this moment, all we can do is wait – just staring at the door, trying to will it open with our desires…

 I have never been good at waiting.  I am an action-oriented person, none of this “sitting around and waiting for life to tap me on the shoulder,” I’m already down the road…

 Last night as we were walking the dog, my daughter asked me, “Mommy, when will this happen?” 

 I smiled and heard myself offer a very reasonable answer, “Sweets, only God knows that – we can only see in part.  All will be revealed in the right time.  Not to worry, everything is being taken care of.”  And like kids do – she bought it and shifted to a new topic.  Ummm, I think I’m supposed to learn something here…

 When I am waiting, I try to distract myself with the knowledge that everything is happening in its right time.  I repeat over and over in my mind, “I can only see in part…”  The last time I used this mantra so fiercely was years ago when my son was suffering from multiple daily seizures and we couldn’t find any answers.  Interestingly, the healing happened months before the answers were revealed…So it’s good to notice, this time we wait on our heart’s desires, instead of our worst fears…

 I have come to believe in active waiting.  I like the old Arab saying, “Trust in God and tie up your horses,” because it implies a partnership with God and your future.  Sometimes you act and sometimes you wait – knowing the difference is the rub.

 So today, we wait on the will of heaven, and pray for this or something better yet to be revealed.  So be it.   

Please join me as I guide you through a short meditation to remove obstacles on you path to your most abundant life.  Each of us encounters difficulty in life, but only you hold the key to transcend these challenges.  This meditation creates the space within to unlock your own truth…Come, discover your answers today.

“Gentle” doesn’t come easily for me.  I was raised to work hard – achieve.  There isn’t a whole lot of room for ‘soft and gentle’ when you are in competition, even if the person you are competing against is yourself. 

 As I watched the Olympics this week, I was surprised when a ping-pong champion was asked, “Why hasn’t ping-pong taken off in the States?” 

 “Well, Americans don’t like things to be soft.  They want to go outside for there sports.  Hard,” she said.

 I couldn’t agree more.  Maybe it’s because this country began with immigrants trying to make a better life - as they still try today.  Competition is a naturally outcrop of this path.  Or maybe it’s because we have so much already, organized competition has to be hard.  Or maybe it’s because Americans are driven to get their slice of the pie…

 My grandfather came over from Ireland when he was about twenty and he was hungry.  Hungry for food, hungry for money and safety, hungry for love, hungry for a place be.  Unfortunately, he stayed hungry his whole life and passed this hunger, this ‘not enough’ feeling onto his children, my mother.  She too passed this message onto me, and my other siblings through her own words and deeds. 

 And here I am today with a choice, “Do I too pass this hunger onto my children?  Do I continue the cycle of ‘not enough’?”  Of course the answer is easy, no I won’t pass it along…but do I anyway?  Through my own thoughtless deeds and words?  Sometimes horribly, yes.

 So today I am working on - gentle and being soft.  Not to hear words spoken to me through a filter of fear and pain, but through light.  To expect the best from everyone and not to take it personally if another does not want to behave from their highest self.  That is their problem, their journey – my focus is with self.  And with myself - I am gentle and soft.  So be it.

Recently I was on vacation in Martha’s Vineyard and noticed lots of people wearing “Black Dog” apparel.  The Black Dog is a local business established in 1971 (I know this because I too now have a t-shirt with this information…) that has become quite popular on the island.  Quickly I realized is this is part of the “vineyard uniform” – daily wear for everyone. 

 And it hit me – every destination vacation has it’s own uniform…Hawaii, yupe, all the tourists wear Hawaiian shirts, skirts and dresses; in Disney – buttons, clothing of all sorts, hats…In Caribbean – braids, they only look good on 10% of the population but about 90% of woman give this a try…Boots/hats in Texas…In Ireland, throw me a wool sweater and some plaid…etc, etc…and the worst part is - I’m guilty of most these fashion blunders myself (thank God not the braids though.)  I suffer from the old motto, “When in Rome…” 

 A friend that I travel with believes this is a display of each person’s desire to bring vacation home, hence you buy the same crap.  I agree but I also think it’s about sharing the experience.  The uniform, however silly, makes vacation feel even further away from your reality left at home.  Not many of us can imagine wearing Caribbean braids to a sales meeting with the boss or how about a sarong?  However on vacation – anything goes…

  Hence you can find me buying Hawaiian music on Maui dressed in a bikini/sarong or t-shirts in the Black Dog Café for everyone in my family.  When in Rome, baby…

This meditation connects you to gratitude.  Recently while on vacation at the beach, I was overcome by a feeling of gratitude for the beautiful life I lead.  Problems seem so small next to a vast ocean with the sun’s rays shining down.   

Come, join me and connect to new beginnings with the Sun’s Energy… 

It took me months to open this book and I am glad I finally did.  I had picked it up in the Spring to read on vacation, but then I lost interest for awhile.  I had been scared off after re-reading the part about her Mother dying young on the back cover teaser…The story seemed more depressing then uplifting. 

 But somehow it traveled to the beach with me this summer and thank goodness, as The Ice Queen is a perfect beach read; light, thoughtful and surprising.  What surprised me about the book were the intriguing characters and plot twists.  The characters were complicated; no one is black and white.  Each of us has hidden parts that may shock those around us – “If they only knew…” we wonder silently. 

 I have always been drawn to plots where the world sees one thing and reality is so much stickier.  I like it because it reminds me to think in tones of gray.  To remember that there is a completely unknown back-story behind each person that motivates their behaviors every day.  The message to me is always the same – sometimes it is not about you.

 The narrator of the story is often seen jumping to hysterical conclusions as displayed when she spies on her sister-in-law late one night returning library books, or why her lover only wants to make love in the dark, or even the cause of her mother’s death.  The narrator’s inability to see beyond her own self-contempt blurs her perception of events – everyone doesn’t like her, she has no friends, she causes death…

 Surprisingly she does have friends and those who care for her, but she can not see it because of her own self-loathing.  Since she has not learned to take care of herself, she can not take care of her friendships or even a positive relationship with her brother.  The narrator transcends her hurts finally by stopping her self-punishment.  Unfortunately and of course, tragic events must unfold for the narrator to finally make peace with the past.

 However, a satisfying peace is made and lessons can be gleaned by any reader about perception and reality.  It is often a bit of both that creates the moments of your life, for better or worse…   

While returning from vacation on Wednesday, I kept thinking about Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz clicking her heels to go home.  I think I even clicked mine a few times - just in case.  Why?  Well, I’m afraid of heights - flying is really not something I look forward to and unfortunately I discovered I was flying co-pilot back to the mainland in a tinny, tiny plane…Holy crap!

 I had just spent five glorious days in Martha’s Vineyard with my college friend and we were sitting outside the adorable airport waiting for my flight.  I say “adorable” because the airport at Martha’s Vineyard appears like the quintessential New England beach house welcoming travelers, no ugly concrete or steel hurting your eyes here.  Baggage claim is a couple guys lifting a small, glass garage door and placing your luggage on an inverted shelf for you to pick up five minutes after your plane lands…Not exactly LaGuardia.

 So there we are looking out on the small airfield and my amused friend says eyeing me, “Hey, those are pretty small planes out there – I bet you’re on one.”   Quickly my eyes dart from plane to plane looking for my airline, Cape Air. 

 At that very moment, I vaguely recall some folks joking with us earlier on the trip about flying back to the mainland on “Cape Fear.”  I had a flash of moments before when I was checking in at the ticket counter - they had needed to know my weight and weighted all my carry-on bags – even my purse…Holy crap, the innuendo at the bar was now becoming all too clear as I saw the plane with “Cape Air” on the tail.  There were only five windows down the side of the plane.  Mother of God I think it only sat 10 people in all.  I started sweating at that moment. 

 Fifteen minutes later I was standing on the tarmac next to the man who was giving us our seat assignments.  He looks directly at me and said, “Co-pilot.”  What?  Is that legal?  Freaking co-pilot!  All I can think of is my husband…He has a burning desire to fly planes yet here I am being assigned co-pilot.  God certainly has a sense of humor…

 Within moments I am in the co-pilot’s seat, nervously giggling to the pilot, “I am not taking over mid-flight.  I’m sure you’ve flown a million times…Right?”  Needless to say, I am screwed.  I wrapped my arms around me lest I grab the controls by mistake or touch one of the many buttons, gadgets in front of me – just because. 

 The take off was ok.  I did not like being in this tiny plane flying over the sea.  It’s already little bouncy in a small plane, so it is not a far stretch to imagine yourself tumbling down from the sky…I kept thinking Angelina Jolie is an idiot – who the hell would choose to do this for an afternoon of pleasure?   I watched the flight time tick by on the control board’s clock and pretended to enjoy the scenery from my flying coffin.   

 Praying really began on the descent.  I tried hard to block visions of a fiery grand finale to our flight by incessantly praying the “Our Father” during touchdown.  Actually, it was the smoothest landing I have ever experienced. 

 On one of my next flights that day I sat next to a man had who climbed Mt. Everest a few years ago.  I exclaimed that was not for me as I am afraid of heights (besides the fact I don’t like the cold, sleeping in a tent for days on end, eating crappy food, risking my life to reach any summit…)  He informed me he was also afraid of heights – he did it to face his fears.

 I smiled and thought, “Been there, done that earlier today and I didn’t have to go across the globe.”  And then I thought, “But am I better for it?” 

 Immediately in my mind I heard a resounding, “Yes!” and of course, a chuckling God too.  I had been to the summit and successfully reached the other side – anxiety and all.  Some lessons come to you, instead you going to the mountain.