There are times in your life when you may feel as though you are stumbling through, destination unknown.  Maybe you are.  And then time passes and you begin to see the stumbling was really moving you forward to a truth or goal that had not yet been revealed. 

 Years ago I received great advice – take one step each day toward your goal.  Of course, the “goal” may be defined differently during the many phases of your life, but it is that forward energy that is most important.  This energy drives your ability to gently expand into your fullest self easily and effortlessly. 

 It’s ok that there are periods in your life when you are confused.  In fact, expect it.  But know this is a phase.  As annoying as this truth is, confusion is an opportunity.  Confusion usually stems from some need inside of you not being met whether you are consciously aware of this or not.

 Try journaling or reading about places or people that attract you.  Meditate.  Talk to friends you admire.  Listen to the compliments you are receiving in your life right now.  And most of all - move toward your dreams and goals – no matter what they are. 

 One step, each day.  Read an article.  Make a phone call. Send an email.  Take a class. Create something. 

 When you focus on your goals and desires (even the fleeting ones!), you focus on what you want in life – not a negative, self-defeating idea of what you don’t want.  Your thoughts direct your words and your words create your deeds.  Your deeds are your life. 

 It all begins at the same place – choice.  Free will.  You chose to take that step each day or not.  So, what are your thoughts creating in your life today?  Is it leading to your goals or not?

Why are some people happy and others not?  There are certain factors that contribute to one’s ability to be “happy” under most circumstances.  These are a few…

 1.         Flexibility.  The old saying “once you make a plan, God laughs,” has proven true time and time again in my own life.  Being able to adjust to changing life events, even as minor as dinner plans, with flexibility and ease leads directly to happiness.  Why?  Flexibility means forsaking control – willingly.  Quite a feat to be sure, but a gift - only to be received if you are willing to give up control first.    

 2.         Don’t take it personally.  As my father wisely once said, “Some people are just a@@holes.”  You can be assured in your life that your will encounter some real “pains in the bottom”, difficult situations, unfairness, and other assorted crap.  Promise.  And the person sitting next to you, same thing.  The same goes with any other person you meet in your life too.  We are all stumbling through at times.  So, relax, take a breath and imagine what you would like to happen in whatever situation is causing you difficulty.  Focusing on what you want enables you to emerge from any frustration with clarity.

 3.         Humor.  Once you are able to either laugh at yourself or whatever the situation, you bring lightness to your heart.  Laughter feels good.  Watch funny movies, read amusing books, talk to a friend who always makes you laugh, go bowling.  Just by adding more laughter to your life and you will notice, gently a quiet lightness entering your thoughts and being.

 4.         Positive attitude.  I am not suggesting to live like some annoying, over-the-top Polly-Anna, but to live your life on the foundation that, “all is well.”  This isn’t to deny there are problems or tragedies in life, but it does focus on solutions instead of the difficulties.

 5.         Gratitude.  Happy people are reminded each day of their blessings – the good and the difficult.  As much as it drives me nuts, challenges are opportunities.  Opportunities to learn, to grow and most importantly, to know yourself better.  True gratitude is born out of compassion – just as much for yourself as others.

 6.         Confidence.  Not swaggering, but a calm knowing of ones own abilities.  Confidence also means knowing you will stumble on occasion, but the confident person knows not to make a habit of it. 

 7.         Presence.  Happy people live right now, in this moment – not dreaming about yesterday or fantasying about tomorrow.  Here and now - laughing about the things that others might be frustrated by, and knowing all is well… 

 8.         Choice.  All happy people know happiness is a choice.  Some days it’s easier to be happy, while other days may be a bit more of a struggle.  However, knowing that you have the choice to lift yourself up or push yourself down – often leads to better decisions.

 Happiness is not derived from one isolated event, but by attitudes and beliefs.  Gratefully, like choice, each of us has the power to change our attitudes and beliefs with time and attention. 

 Happiness isn’t for someone else, it’s for you.  It is for each one of us to sink deeply into the happiness of this moment, however mundane the pleasures.  May you discover happiness already waits for you, deep within.  

There are sure signs of post vacation blues – the fading suntan, irritability, peeling skin, a far-off glassy look in the eyes – it’s all there.  Yupe, that’s me – post vacation blues.

 I want to go back to the beach where my most pressing issues of the day were; should we have breakfast in bed or at the café?  Trashy magazine or book?  Which bikini?  I’m about ready to cry right now thinking about it…Ughhhh.

 Ok, I know I’m blessed.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am grateful to get away and all that…It’s just - coming back from vacation reveals to me how I long to travel more. I miss water more acutely as we travel back to land-locked Colorado.

 When I am absorbed in my daily life – mom, work, wife…Traveling seems like a luxury for someone else, some far off life…and then I find myself on a beach.  I slip into the “other life.”  The cool life, without meals to fix, dishes to wash…without responsibilities.  Before the children.

 About the fourth day on vacation I begin missing the children, my home, my kitchen and the on fifth day I’m ready to go back.  A joyful return happens, gifts for the kids, the clothes are washed and a few days pass…Then - post vacation blues.

 I don’t want to make any meals – where is Hector?  Isn’t someone coming by to pick up the towels?  Why is it not 84 degrees outside?  Is someone coming by with my afternoon snack?  And I realize what I like about vacation is becoming a kid again.  I know my blues today really stem from a mild resentment as I’ve slipped into the adult again.  Driving the car, cooking, answering to the title, “Mommy.”

 Yes, I have heard all the “new-age talk” - bring vacation into your every day life.  Whatever.  If this was truly possible, why would you need a vacation?  Vacations to me are like “postcards” – a snapshot of a unique moment in time, both good and bad.  It’s ok that vacations hold a little glamour, little magic still.    

 What I really think needs to happens is more vacations…How ‘bout Disney in the fall?  Isn’t there some money from the government coming soon?  Ummm, I’m feeling better already.  Where to stay???

This is a “chick” book and I loved it.  If you’re twenty-two or seventy-two, you will find yourself reflected back in the characters of this book.  Each character has there own separate voice that sometimes, as in life, strays from the ideal we each set in our minds… 

Actually this is my favorite part of the book…viewing the prism each character interprets their experience and how this certain prism impacts the “truth.”  We see the surface of behaviors and then pull back the curtain to discover “the hurts” driving each character. 

 While I read, I was reminded that each of us can only view the other in part, much is hidden.  It is the hidden parts that must be revealed and brought out into the light for peace to be found…As in the main character Georgia’s stubborn, proud attitudes that kept her from opening letters her lover’s, James, sent years before.  How often to do each of us create upsetting events, even words in our minds that never come to pass?   

 These characters are sometimes frustrating in their self-sabotage, but isn’t that the truth of it?  Isn’t each of us truly our own worst critic?  Judge and jury?  Making assumptions based on our own fears and hurts instead of stepping back and viewing the full picture. 

 What helps to soften the self-sabotage is humor.  The book is funny and insightful.  The characters often poke fun at their own faults and of each other too.  It feels very natural and human. 

 Best of all, this book of complicated emotions and behaviors doesn’t end with your traditional happy ending.  Like life, it’s good and bad…and even sometimes, seemingly unfair.  Happy reading!   

Recently several clients and some dear friends have come to me struggling with the deaths of loved ones.  Death is often a topic each of us would like to avoid – like a dirty, little secret that if we just ignore it long enough, maybe it will go away.  However it doesn’t…It just waits for each of us.

I have an easy relationship with death.  I believe in a Christian model, however, I also believe we come back over and over.  Each of us has certain work to do in our lifetime along with the free choice to realize that work or not.  I believe most of the people involved in my life today, I have been with before in previous lives.   

A few years ago my step-sister died.  She died horribly – alone.  At first there were hints of a suicide and that is what distressed me.  I was worried her soul was lost and wandering – not knowing the grace that was available to her.  I learned of her death on a Sunday night and that Monday I had already planned to visit a mentor to train on Mediumship. 

 So the next day I went to my mentor very upset – worried that somehow Nicky was lost.  We set the space and called Nicky to us.  Immediately she came and she was so sad, but her first words were about suicide.  It was not a suicide, but a mistake – she just wanted to feel better with a little more drugs.  That was Nicky.  After she made the “no suicide message” clear, you could feel her sadness and she taught me about free will.

 She had said in this life she thought she could do it – beat the addictions, but she couldn’t.  She spoke of the love that was in her life always (family and friends) but that she never accepted while she was alive.  She helped me to understand each of us has choices.  Nicky chose drugs over and over – she couldn’t help herself and that is when I found peace.

 I understood each of us has our own “cross to bear.”  Nicky didn’t choose the drugs because of any one person.  No, this was her life, her choices and I could love her still.  I remembered her as a child and making friends with everyone – she accepted each person as beautiful and interesting.  This probably led to problems as an adult, but I know the very essence of Nicky’s soul is love – not perfect, but love all the same. 

 When we closed the session that day, I knew Nicky would be ok.  I believed in her – her soul.  I know her beauty and kindness will come back again and we will meet again.  Maybe not in this lifetime, but I know she is never lost from me.  She speaks with angels now, across the thin veil – healing her wounded places and biding her time until she comes back again.

I had been feeling blue for awhile.  This damn snow just won’t stop.  Early Spring - one of the ugliest times of year, everything is brown and cold.  I have been taunted more then once by a day of blissful warmth and sunshine only to have the temperature drop thirty degrees in 6 hours.  What is that?  Is Mother Nature trying to drive me over the edge? 

 Then I went to the spa – a micropeel facial and a pedicure with that wax thing too.  I always laugh about a facial as you look like hell afterward – pinched and blotchy and this one was no exception.  The micropeel is a diamond encrusted suction tube that they drag across your face/neck to remove the dead skin – slightly painful at times, but I no longer look grayish.  The flush of youth has returned to my face…or maybe that is the slightly raw, red skin they promised as a side effect of the treatment…oh well.  Honestly, my pores have never looked better, even though I lost a layer or two of skin in the process…

 But the pedicure.  First one of the year.  I like to give my toes a break over the winter.  But I now have beautiful, rosy toes and am delightfully happy every time I look at them.  I had forgotten the pleasure of a pedicure.  To me – ultimate decadence.  I mean really, it’s not like I can’t do it myself.  I feel pampered and indulgent during the service.  I have even introduced my husband to this indulgence on a date night.  Needless to say a convert was born that afternoon.

 So, if you are feeling blue – remember the power of the pedicure and go directly to a nail salon.  I don’t care if you are a man or a woman – taking “extra-special” care of ourselves is important.  Give it a try – promise, you’ll be surprised…