Lost in Translation
I have been participating in a Bible study group with my church for about 3 years now. I guess it was my curiosity that first drew me to the Bible a very long time ago.
I was not raised in a religious family. My mother described herself as a “recovering Catholic.” Needless to say, religion was not discussed in any positive light. It’s use being only, “a way to control the masses.”
It wasn’t until I started reading a lot in high school and college that my interest was peaked in religious books. I became an English major in college and there were constant references to the Bible in literature. I felt like I was missing part of the story by not having any biblical understanding.
Whenever I read the Bible by myself, I felt like I was reading Shakespeare. Maybe some of the words were familiar, but I certainly didn’t understand the context or the true meaning of the passage. Like Shakespeare’s works, I perceived the Bible to be for someone else. It was too hard.
But my curiosity propelled me on. I just knew I had to be missing something in that book. In my middle twenties, I studied the Bible with a dear friend who also happened to be a fundamentalist Christian. Most of her social views were in direct conflict with mine, but I thought, who better to read the bible with then someone who would really challenge my values.
I know we read one of the gospels, but I’m not sure which one. Very quickly I realized, although we read the same words, we had completely different interpretations. The Bible I read, spoke of inclusion and love at the center, and hers spoke of the rules. It really was a fascinating experience and happily, we remained friends throughout our differing views.
I did not truly begin understanding the Bible until a few years ago in our church Bible study. Oh, I don’t mean I understand everything or even that I don’t struggle with the readings. Now, however, I get to the other side of that struggle and see the Bible as really a pathway to myself. It is truly a story about me.
I used to get so angry at Jesus’ disciples. They didn’t listen. They would bicker among themselves over who was Jesus’ favorite. One night, he told them to stay awake and watch. He even told them of the impending disaster in the morning and what did they do? Fell asleep, not once, but three times. This all made no sense to me. These were the disciples?
Then my wonderful minister asked, “When have you fallen asleep? Did you ever worry that you were not the favorite?” It hit me–oh my God, I’m the disciple. These disciples drive me crazy as I unconsciously see myself in them. I have let someone down. I have worried and feared to not be enough. Does he truly love me best? The Bible finally became a living book for me. Finally, it spoke to my life, here and now.
Now, I love going to Bible study. It’s like a puzzle to me that unlocks, piece by piece. I still struggle…Just last week, we were reading Matthew 5 & 6. Many people know these chapters as Jesus’ sermons from the mountain top. It is an impossible list of ways to live with God culminating with the direction, “You shall be perfect.”(Matthew 5:48) Well, this was just too much for me.
I think every therapist, every college psych class has preached to give up this obsession with “being perfect.” Isn’t every self-help book based loosely on this concept? So, again, I question my minister and she points me to translation.
The actual word used in the Hebrew Bible is “telios.” The more accurate translation is, be the best you can be in the eyes of God, the most perfect you. “You shall be the most perfect you.” Now, this I understand. This I can embrace, and I have discovered something new.
The idea of “perfect” bothered me because somewhere it implied there was a judge somewhere deciding who was perfect and who was not. What if I was not? Being the best I can be, well this allowed for error.
And there I was again, a disciple. Not a God walking this earth in the guise of a man, but a blundering, stumbling, soul landing in grace time and time again.
Tags: bible, catholic, disciples, education, healing, liberal, love, religion, translation
