Here is the bitch of it: for all my understanding and faith in a higher power – life is still not fair sometimes. Negativity and depression beat a path to everyone’s door at some point – so tonight join us on Indie Spirit Blogtalk to learn tools to learn from and transcend negativity and depression.  Chat, laugh, meditate – feel BETTER.  Tonight 6 pm MST

Are you running into the same old Patterns?  Instead of getting stuck in a negative spiral of, “Why me?”  Discover how to ask yourself, “What for?” and find real solutions.Join us tonight on http://www.blogtalkradio.com/indieonair for solutions, meditation, laughs and you just may learn something.  Also discussing Mercury Retrograde and You!

You want to transform your life?  Try guided meditation.  Why?  To transform your life, you must first change your thoughts and that’s the rub – how to change your thoughts from what is not working to what is…and again I answer with guided meditation.

Guided meditation helps create the space within yourself to identify thoughts that are not working and replacing them with new thought patterns that enhance your life.  Meditation isn’t a quick fix, but a foundation for real transformation

Several years ago I went to a lecture by Marianne Williamson.  A person in the audience wanted her guidance on why her life wasn’t getting any better.  This person had struggled with eating disorders and depression in the past, but she just couldn’t quite find her way out.  Williamson asked her what she was doing to help herself.  The woman responded with, “I go to therapy and have asked God to help me.” 

Williamson responded, “Not enough.”  I was stunned.  Then Williamson continued, “If you had a failing liver, you would be taking medicines every day, where is your medicine for your ailment today?  Not a once a week plan, but every day?  Changing your life isn’t something you do a couple times a week, but every day.”  Williamson suggested specific prayer (she’s a proponent of A Course In Miracles) and meditation as a place to start.

I absolutely and whole-hearted agree with Williamson – transformation doesn’t happen overnight, but as a result of many steps.  This is not to say transformation is difficult as much as it is a habit – some habits are easier than others to change.  To change a habit,  first identify something to replace it with.  For instance, you’ll see a lot of quitting smokers chewing gum.

For many people, their bad habit is how they are thinking about themselves or life, i.e. I’m unlovable or life is unfair, there’s never enough money.  Both these thoughts cripple the individual and manifest incident after incident in their own lives to valid these negative beliefs.  So like the smoker that quits cigarettes, one must quit negative thinking, but what to replace it with?  Guided meditation allows you to replace negative thought patterns with ones of success and peace. 

Try falling asleep to guided meditation and discover for yourself how these new ideas slip into your dreams and your language easily and effortlessly.  Whenever I am needing a little extra support I listen to I Meet Success or I am Safe.  Guided Meditation has transformed my life, how ‘bout you?

This morning I read a story about the Taliban in Afghanistan killing a pregnant widow for adultery.  She was whipped 200 times before she was shot in the head and chest.  The man who performed the brutal acts walked away free – after all she was just a woman.

The Taliban shot a seven-year-old boy last week for being a spy and this past weekend shot 10 aid workers who the Taliban claim were spreading Christianity.  How can this be?  How can these kind of backward violent actions still happen in so-called modern society?

I read a book last year on the building of the Taj Mahal.  It was a fascinating cultural glimpse into a land I knew so little about.  Probably the most stunning take-away was how little life was valued.  People were slaughtered without worry or real consideration regularly.  A small, elite group ruled with an iron fist and frankly it seems little has changed in this part of the world.

It also made me realize I would never be able to truly understand these cultures because it’s in complete opposition to my thinking – life is sacred and we are all to live abundant lives in freedom and peace. 

So are we supposed to send more soldiers to rescue the innocent?  I don’t know, I hate what is happening there and I also know we in the West will never fully grasp their society.  Part of the culture is one of oppression and cruelty but I’m betting there is also more to the story too.  I’m betting it’s not just some men who want to keep their cultures the same.  I bet there are a lot of women there as well who believe this is how it is supposed to be. 

We as Americans can not parachute into another culture and expect to really grasp all the facts immediately. I don’t know what the answer is in Afghanistan.  Good, kind, courageous people are dying because they are willing to try to make a better way, even at the cost of life.  And I am grateful that 200 plus years ago, brave men and women decided they needed to break free of British tyranny here in this country. 

And that is probably where the answer lay – with the people.  

What is the difference between loneliness and solitude?  One is an experience of sorrow and the other replenishment.  Why?  Simply – you.  Yupe, it’s not pretty and you may want to rebel, but it’s true.  You create your reality through choices and the thoughts/beliefs you focus on each day. 

But here’s the good news – you can make a shift.  Being alone doesn’t have to equal lonely.  Here are a few tips to help you connect to the rejuvenation found in solitude.

1.    Rest.  I bet you are exhausted and you don’t even know it because you have always been this way.  Lay down on the floor or grass and feel your body supported by the earth.  Close your eyes and breathe in deeply.  Shift your legs gently from side to side – feel yourself really connected to the earth.  Rest.

2.    Read.  Not a magazine, a book.  Fall into another world and give yourself a break from reality.  Explore the world from your favorite armchair…

3.    Journal.  Write about anything and everything.  Instead of keeping your thoughts, fears and dreams locked within – let go.  Thoughts spinning in your mind can trap you into fear, but brought into the light – things can be hashed out. 

4.    Arts.  Draw, paint, play musical instruments – be creative.  When you participate in the arts, you allow your incessantly thinking mind to stop.  If you believe you can’t draw – get a coloring book.  Relax and play.

5.    Nature.  Go for a walk or hike and really examine the path around you.  Do you see any animals?  Are the leaves falling?  How does the ground feel beneath your feet?  Can you smell the changing seasons?  Sink into this moment with all your senses. 

6.    Meditate.  Meditation is a pathway to transformation – changing your thoughts does change your life. 

7.    Garden.  Nothing is more grounding or nourishing then hands in the dirt.  Just because the weather has shifted does not mean the growing season has ended – bulbs.  Plant bulbs outside for spring and indoors for beauty.  Try paperwhites and amaryllis in glass vases and enjoy the magic of new life unfold right before your eyes.

8.    Be still.  Sit by a window and see what is happening in your own backyard.  Does the yard need attention?  Are there any animals?  Birds?  How do you feel within as you look out?  What thoughts pop in?  Are they lifting you up or pushing yourself down?  Can you gently, kindly make a shift?

Of course there are moments when we may feel lonely, but when these moments stretch into a way of being – unhappiness and isolation are the result.  It does not have to be this way…It begins with you.

Something akin to the hell found in the movie Groundhog Day.  Every day is spent making beds, cleaning bathrooms, freshening towels, vacuuming…I have either slipped into a twin 1950’s marriage or I am in fact in hell. 

More exciting than the hell of cleaning, is the buyers - who have discovered it’s a buyer’s market and some of whom would like to steal your home.  I never understood how the foreclosure market would negative affect the prices until now…

What I have discovered in the process of selling our home is responsibility.  Have you ever read the book, The Little Prince?  It is one of my favorite books because it speaks to the responsibility of taming or loving something.  Once something becomes yours, you are responsible for taking care of it.  If you can no longer take care of it, you must find a way for someone else to care for it.  That is our home.

If we were to accept one of these low-ball offers we would hurt the energy of our home.  Foreclosure houses tend not to have good energy – how could they?  Too much stress and anxiety locked inside.  Hence I have all these buyers wanting to buy my house at a foreclosure/avoid bankruptcy prices – they see it as the same house physically.  However they are not the same houses – you get what you pay for.  There are no deals, because you are buying a life.

Look at the history of a house – how many times has it flipped?  Foreclosure houses tend to flip a lot – the ‘deal’ the buyers got on the front end will be their problem on the other side.  It could be as simple as placement.  Is the house at the top/end of road?  Interestingly this is a horrible energy pattern – the energy of the road flows directly into the house constantly.  Hence the house/inhabitants can never get grounded enough to make it work…

Our house is a home.  It is energetically excellent with color, scent, layout, comfort and lush, abundant gardens.  It has been the support our family has needed to refresh, cradle and ultimately launch us into another adventure that is something akin to stepping into a fairy tale (more about that in a few weeks…) 

It was the same for the previous owners and I will not give this house less.  Our buyers are not looking for a steal, but a home that will cradle them.  In this safety, dreams unfold and manifest into reality.  Here in this house, our family began living an enchanted life, unbelievably blessed and magical truly (got the medical miracles and passport vacations to prove it!)  So we wait, knowing the new family is coming - we are just holding their place a little longer…Frankly I can’t wait to meet them, because I know what waits for them…peace, warmth, beauty, family, love, healing, laughter and abundance.  And so it is.

Looking for daily inspiration?  Join my Facebook page, The Indie Spirit, to connect to others and feel good.  Each week I co-host a radio show about all things Spirit with Jeff “Classic” Popka on http:www.blogtalkradio.com/indieonair.  It’s Thursday evening 6pm MST - we meditate, discuss, answer call-in questions - everything from matters of the heart to career guidance to connecting to peace.  Hope you can join us.

There are times in your life when you may feel as though you are stumbling through, destination unknown.  Maybe you are.  And then time passes and you begin to see the stumbling was really moving you forward to a truth or goal that had not yet been revealed. 

Years ago I received great advice – take one step each day toward your goal.  Of course, the “goal” may be defined differently during the many phases of your life, but it is that forward energy that is most important.  This energy drives your ability to gently expand into your fullest self easily and effortlessly. 

It’s ok that there are periods in your life when you are confused.  In fact, expect it.  But know this is a phase.  As annoying as this truth is, confusion is an opportunity.  Confusion usually stems from some need inside of you not being met whether you are consciously aware of this or not.

Try journaling or reading about places or people that attract you.  Meditate.  Talk to friends you admire.  Listen to the compliments you are receiving in your life right now.  And most of all - move toward your dreams and goals – no matter what they are. 

One step, each day.  Read an article.  Make a phone call. Send an email.  Take a class. Create something. 

When you focus on your goals and desires (even the fleeting ones!), you focus on what you want in life – not a negative, self-defeating idea of what you don’t want.  Your thoughts direct your words and your words create your deeds.  Your deeds are your life. 

It all begins at the same place – choice.  Free will.  You chose to take that step each day or not.  So, what are your thoughts creating in your life today?  Is it leading to your goals or not?

Want to learn about Animal Spirits/Guides? Join me tonight on the Indie Spirit BlogTalk Radio Show 8 pm EST/7 pm CST/6 pm MST/5 pm PST…Ask questions. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/indieonair

Each of us confronts stress every day, and how we choose to deal with this has a direct effect on our happiness and well-being.  Often our emotions cloud our ability to make good decisions and unwittingly we continue a negative pattern of stress-management.  Use these five easy suggestions to improve your capacity to handle the stressful events that come your way and begin living more contently today…

 1.       Breathe.  When stressful events occur, often our first response involves an involuntary level of panic; blood may rush to our faces, stomachs drop, breathing quickens…By stopping yourself and focusing your attention on three deep breaths, this allows all of your senses and self to become fully present in the situation.  From this present place, better decisions are made.  Clarity is achieved when you can detach from an emotional, automatic response and shift to a perspective of ration and reason.  

2.       Don’t blame – including yourself!  No matter how you slice it – here you are and there is something for you to learn right now - what is it?  Here’s a hint; it’s all about you.  How someone else is behaving may not be appropriate, but strip the extras away and it is still all about you.  Instead of pointing fingers at any one else or even yourself, what do you need to do right now?  What is your part and how can you make it better today?   (Warning: be careful not to fall into victim thinking – “I’m so bad” – that it keeps you from moving forward.  It’s not about blame, but opportunity.) 

3.       Ask for help/support.  If you are feeling stressed, sometimes one of the best things you can do is seek the counsel of a wise friend, therapist or spiritual advisor.  An outside perspective can illuminate personal blind spots that may be tripping you up over and over…

4.       Stay present and flexible – don’t spin out.  A thinking mind can be a dangerous thing – imagining the worst-case-scenarios can be almost intoxicating to obsess over, but stop yourself.  It is likely none of these worst-cases will come to pass and you have wasted all that time and energy as to be prepared – just in case the worst-case happens then you’ll know what to do…Stop.  These are future concerns, shift back to what can I do right now and keep your options open.  Rigid thinking of “if this happens, then…” traps you in repeating the same cycles over and over. 

5.       Focus on your desired outcome.  It is very easy to identify want you don’t want, but shift your focus to what you do want or how you would like your reality to be.  Whether you are having difficulty in a relationship, with money, family, it doesn’t matter – spend a few minutes each day thinking about how you would like your relationship to feel, or what it would feel like to have enough money, love…Your thoughts have power.  When you change your thoughts, you change your life – new doors open and opportunities appear…Try this for a week and watch the surprises bloom.

 Of course, the most essential tool and what frames all of these tips, is an unshakable sense of humor.  I am the first to say I have a gallows humor, but it has served me well to laugh at myself and the ridiculous situations I have found  myself  in at times – completely of my own making.  Just remember – if it doesn’t kill you, well then I guess you’re not dead…or the other answer, you GROW stronger.