Thanksgiving represents a mixed bag for many of us – the excitement of seeing your relatives and friends along with your anxiety/stress of seeing your friends and relatives…This year, using these easy tips, make a shift in your perspective and enjoy a more peaceful holiday.  May it be so.  

Where to Go?  Try new age bookstores, alternative shops and some jewelry stores carry them too.  I bought mine at a high end crystals and jewelry shop.  Ask the sales clerk for help, as often pendulums are  a niche market not usually on display.  I do not recommend buying a pendulum through the internet as there must be a certain energy between the user and the pendulum for it to work properly.  You know the scene from Harry Potter when he is picking a wand?  There had to be a match between owner and wand for things to flow and not cause havoc.  (And no, do not expect anything that extreme!)

 Also, you can make your own pendulum using a shell, rock, wood…really anything that can be hung on a string/chain.  The benefit of this is you are directly connecting and infusing your pendulum with your own certain magic.  However this isn’t necessary for everyone and is best left to those who feel called to do so…

 What to look for?  Hold the pendulum in your hand for a moment – feel anything?  Twinges?  Heat?   Then let the pendulum hang down and in your mind ask the question, “Are you my pendulum?”  Watch for positive movement.  This is all really subjective at this point.  Something will just push you to buy it if this is your pendulum.  You may even leave the store and have to come back a few days later to buy it because you can’t get it out of your head. 

 So relax and shop around, your pendulum is waiting for you - you just have to go find it. 

You want to transform your life?  Try guided meditation.  Why?  To transform your life, you must first change your thoughts and that’s the rub – how to change your thoughts from what is not working to what is…and again I answer with guided meditation.

 Guided meditation helps create the space within yourself to identify thoughts that are not working and replacing them with new thought patterns that enhance your life.  Meditation isn’t a quick fix, but a foundation for real transformation

 Several years ago I went to a lecture by Marianne Williamson.  A person in the audience wanted her guidance on why her life wasn’t getting any better.  This person had struggled with eating disorders and depression in the past, but she just couldn’t quite find her way out.  Williamson asked her what she was doing to help herself.  The woman responded with, “I go to therapy and have asked God to help me.” 

 Williamson responded, “Not enough.”  I was stunned.  Then Williamson continued, “If you had a failing liver, you would be taking medicines every day, where is your medicine for your ailment today?  Not a once a week plan, but every day?  Changing your life isn’t something you do a couple times a week, but every day.”  Williamson suggested specific prayer (she’s a proponent of A Course In Miracles) and meditation as a place to start. 

I absolutely and whole-hearted agree with Williamson – transformation doesn’t happen overnight, but as a result of many steps.  This is not to say transformation is difficult as much as it is a habit – some habits are easier than others to change.  To change a habit,  first identify something to replace it with.  For instance, you’ll see a lot of quitting smokers chewing gum.

 For many people, their bad habit is how they are thinking about themselves or life, i.e. I’m unlovable or life is unfair, there’s never enough money.  Both these thoughts cripple the individual and manifest incident after incident in their own lives to valid these negative beliefs.  So like the smoker that quits cigarettes, one must quit negative thinking, but what to replace it with?  Guided meditation allows you to replace negative thought patterns with ones of success and peace. 

 Try falling asleep to guided meditation and discover for yourself how these new ideas slip into your dreams and your language easily and effortlessly.  Whenever I am needing a little extra support I listen to  I Meet Success or I am Safe.  Guided Meditation has transformed my life, how ‘bout you?

Want to instantly feel better – listen to Faulkner’s song “Gone In the Morning.”  Every time I hear it, no matter the where I am – in a clothing store or a car  – I’m dancing like a gyrating fool.  This CD is quirky, creative and unbelievably sexy.  Why?  It’s his voice.  My favorite tracks are: “Feels Like Home,” “U.F.O,.” “Ageing SuperHero,” and “Gone In the Morning.”

 I had to laugh yesterday when I googled Faulkner and saw he was a dread-locked, red-haired singer from the UK – my favorite artist is Van Morrison.  I’m a sucker for a Celtic balladeer with smiling eyes…One of my best friends would always joke, “Give Quasimodo a guitar and a mic and you’ve got instantly hot.”  Anyway, I’m hooked…

This podcast explores gratitude and how it connects you to your most abundant life.  Learn simple ways to live a more gratefully and welcome a new peace into your life.  Enjoy!

After the 2000 and the 2004 election I was depressed.  The divisive politics of the campaigns hinged on this idea of “red and blue states.”  We were told by the press/political parties how “wrong” the other view point was and encouraged to look warily on the other. 

 I was raised a New England Democrat – the Kennedy deaths were mourned as if ‘family’ by my Grandparents.  Like most people, no matter where you live presently, you gravitate towards like-minded people; hence I didn’t know too many Republicans in my private life.  Who were these strange Republicans voting for the idiot known as Bush?  I couldn’t believe these people known as Republicans could be so different from my belief structure.  I refused to buy the rhetoric. 

 So in 2004, I decided to go out of my way to engage with Republicans and discover for myself the truth…And the truth was just as I suspected – good people, good hearts, and sometimes they had different opinions that I didn’t agree with and that’s ok.  Learning to disagree with anyone – pleasantly, well, I think that is a step towards enlightenment.

 A couple years ago, I was in a discussion group and one man said, “What if I am wrong?  What if I can’t see all the angles or have all the information – what if the other person is right?  Can I leave that sliver of space for the possibility there is another way?”  I liked that.  I liked the flexibility of thinking that expands your life instead of limiting it.

 So whether you’re guy won or lost yesterday, please remember the truth - both Democrats and Republicans are good people, with good hearts and sometimes, there are disagreements – and today, hopefully we are learning to do that a little more kindly…Peace.   

Gritty, sexy, funny and violent, oh and don’t forget the accents – this movie is an all-around good time.  It is a true guy’s flick and I loved it.  Violent, but not bloody.  Crass humor, but not without surprising and amusing undertones.  I liked the quick dialog and twisting plot – I still want to see that damn lucky painting!  And the movie’s characters are sensational.  As much as the crank-head rock star is detestable, he is sympathetic…

 Only problem – the movie is kind of like all the rest of his films.  So if you are fan, you’ll see a lot of the same actors from his other flicks and a similar, yet fun plot.  You won’t be disappointed, but if you didn’t like his other flicks, don’t bother…However specifically for any dubious ladies, Gerald Butler is pretty easy on the eyes for two hours and funny too…Think of all the points you could get for going along with his movie choice this time?  It will come in handy in December when all the Oscar contenders come out…

Several years ago I was chatting with a couple EMT guys and they told me of the phenomenon of “suicide season” – beginning Halloween and running through Valentine’s Day.  This idea has never left me and now Halloween has become a reminder for self-care as I head into the Holidays.  Listen and discover tools to help you navigate the coming holidays as your most empowered self.

Before I got married - I was like all the rest, believing in fantasies, “When I’m married, we will always have hot sex.  I love my fiancé.”  Fast-forward several years - two small children and no sleep – guess what?   The sex wasn’t so hot anymore, in fact, we weren’t really having sex too much and then I remembered my words from years ago…Ugghhh.  How could I have been so naïve???

 I still remember the day, about five years ago, when I was kissing my husband and thinking, “Was I ever turned on by this man?”    How could this be?  I believed him to be my true love – we were meant – yet I felt dead inside when we kissed.  Warning: red lights flashing!!!  Like many before us, we headed off to marriage counseling and discovered we both had things to work on…

 Fast-forward to today, little wiser, little more humble, and back to hot sex.  Why?  I abandoned an idea of how my marriage “should” look and began to create a marriage that does work for both of us.  I’m not saying it’s perfect or without issue, but I am happier with me and how I view my marriage. 

 I realized I had to stop pointing to my husband as to why I was not happy and begin to examine the three fingers pointing back at me.  As an old therapist used to say, “He makes himself an easy target, but what are you doing here?” 

 What “shoulds” do you need to give up in your significant relationship?  He “should” know that hurts my feelings.  She “should” have been there for me this way.  He “should” know what I like.  She “should” know I love her.  What “shoulds” are getting in your way today?

Each of us confronts stress every day, and how we choose to deal with this has a direct effect on our happiness and well-being.  Often our emotions cloud our ability to make good decisions and unwittingly we continue a negative pattern of stress-management.  Use these five easy suggestions to improve your capacity to handle the stressful events that come your way and begin living more contently today…

 1.       Breathe.  When stressful events occur, often our first response involves an involuntary level of panic; blood may rush to our faces, stomachs drop, breathing quickens…By stopping yourself and focusing your attention on three deep breaths, this allows all of your senses and self to become fully present in the situation.  From this present place, better decisions are made.  Clarity is achieved when you can detach from an emotional, automatic response and shift to a perspective of ration and reason.  

2.       Don’t blame – including yourself!  No matter how you slice it – here you are and there is something for you to learn right now - what is it?  Here’s a hint; it’s all about you.  How someone else is behaving may not be appropriate, but strip the extras away and it is still all about you.  Instead of pointing fingers at any one else or even yourself, what do you need to do right now?  What is your part and how can you make it better today?   (Warning: be careful not to fall into victim thinking – “I’m so bad” – that it keeps you from moving forward.  It’s not about blame, but opportunity.) 

3.       Ask for help/support.  If you are feeling stressed, sometimes one of the best things you can do is seek the counsel of a wise friend, therapist or spiritual advisor.  An outside perspective can illuminate personal blind spots that may be tripping you up over and over…

4.       Stay present and flexible – don’t spin out.  A thinking mind can be a dangerous thing – imagining the worst-case-scenarios can be almost intoxicating to obsess over, but stop yourself.  It is likely none of these worst-cases will come to pass and you have wasted all that time and energy as to be prepared – just in case the worst-case happens then you’ll know what to do…Stop.  These are future concerns, shift back to what can I do right now and keep your options open.  Rigid thinking of “if this happens, then…” traps you in repeating the same cycles over and over. 

5.       Focus on your desired outcome.  It is very easy to identify want you don’t want, but shift your focus to what you do want or how you would like your reality to be.  Whether you are having difficulty in a relationship, with money, family, it doesn’t matter – spend a few minutes each day thinking about how you would like your relationship to feel, or what it would feel like to have enough money, love…Your thoughts have power.  When you change your thoughts, you change your life – new doors open and opportunities appear…Try this for a week and watch the surprises bloom.

 Of course, the most essential tool and what frames all of these tips, is an unshakable sense of humor.  I am the first to say I have a gallows humor, but it has served me well to laugh at myself and the ridiculous situations I have found  myself  in at times – completely of my own making.  Just remember – if it doesn’t kill you, well then I guess you’re not dead…or the other answer, you GROW stronger.